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I can identify with that list, I feel that way most times myself. What

comes to my mind is the impression that you are eating to 'comfort'

yourself as well as maybe 'tell' yourself that you merit? (food is a

'gift' of love). I found the F & F workbook to be of use to me. It just

seemed to 'calm' me around food, even when I haven't even made any

earth shattering discovery either.

Hang in there (here?) gal, what you are going thru is not unique

although I know its painful too. When I get 'overwhelmed' I try and

take ONE thing to do/work on and let the 'rest' wait their turn. As I

change my focus from the ENTIRE to the specific it becomes 'do-able'

and it isn't long before that one thing is done and I'm on to the next

and next etc. IE is like that, one itty bitty baby step at a time. Ya

gotta crawl before you walk and then RUN!

Ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...

>

> -feel full until I'm stuffed.

> -accept that " one " IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed to

> eat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could be

> satisfied with just one)

> -separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)

> -separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for eating)

> -figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm never

> satisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)

> -eat regardless of numbers.

>

> The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and I

> honestly don't know where to start.

>

> I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help at

> least with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger I

> get, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not that I

> know what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say " I'll do

> better tomorrow " and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a single

> sentence in this paragraph made any sense.

>

> I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because it

> really wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel bad

> now, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a bowl

> of cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for dinner.

> I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's coming

> from the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly full

> off of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,

> but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.

>

> BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really a

> mental cue thing?

>

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All these things are so tough, I can relate! I just want to say that even with all this confusion, it is SO preferable to being in that crazy deprivation of dieting. I don't want to minimize your struggle at all, I hope you don't take it that way, it's effing HARD! Just to say that you are on the right path and time and self love and patience will out!

-- I don't know how...

I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...-feel full until I'm stuffed.-accept that "one" IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed toeat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could besatisfied with just one)-separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)-separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for eating)-figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm neversatisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)-eat regardless of numbers.The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and Ihonestly don't know where to start.I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help atleast with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger Iget, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not that Iknow what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say "I'll dobetter tomorrow" and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a singlesentence in this paragraph made any sense.I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because itreally wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel badnow, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a bowlof cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for dinner. I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's comingfrom the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly fulloff of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really amental cue thing?

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Can you focus on one of these things at a time? When you are looking at all the things you don't know how to do, it can be overwhelming and seem impossible to master them all. I would suggest picking one and working on it for a while. In time you will get to all of them.

As far as the stomach stretching and shrinking, it's my understanding that this is a myth. may be able to answer this better. I do know that the whole idea of your stomach shrinking when you are on a diet and until then you are going to feel more hungry is not true. But what I have been told by knowledgeable people is that the stomach can stretch if you overeat, but it will return to its normal size after the food is digested. It doesn't stay stretched for a period of time until you start eating less

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Every single paragraph you wrote DOES make sense, and I wish I had answers for you that did, too. Instead, I can only say that I understood and empathized with everything you wrote, and that I think that just the fact that you recognize these problems is, in and of itself, progress.

I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...

-feel full until I'm stuffed.

-accept that "one" IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed to

eat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could be

satisfied with just one)

-separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)

-separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for eating)

-figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm never

satisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)

-eat regardless of numbers.

The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and I

honestly don't know where to start.

I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help at

least with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger I

get, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not that I

know what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say "I'll do

better tomorrow" and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a single

sentence in this paragraph made any sense.

I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because it

really wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel bad

now, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a bowl

of cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for dinner.

I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's coming

from the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly full

off of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,

but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.

BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really a

mental cue thing?

I don't know how...

I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...

-feel full until I'm stuffed.

-accept that "one" IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed to

eat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could be

satisfied with just one)

-separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)

-separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for eating)

-figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm never

satisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)

-eat regardless of numbers.

The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and I

honestly don't know where to start.

I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help at

least with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger I

get, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not that I

know what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say "I'll do

better tomorrow" and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a single

sentence in this paragraph made any sense.

I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because it

really wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel bad

now, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a bowl

of cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for dinner.

I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's coming

from the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly full

off of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,

but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.

BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really a

mental cue thing?

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I'm not familiar with the Food and Feelings workbook. Where can I find one? Just at a bookstore?

Re: I don't know how...

I can identify with that list, I feel that way most times myself. What

comes to my mind is the impression that you are eating to 'comfort'

yourself as well as maybe 'tell' yourself that you merit? (food is a

'gift' of love). I found the F & F workbook to be of use to me. It just

seemed to 'calm' me around food, even when I haven't even made any

earth shattering discovery either.

Hang in there (here?) gal, what you are going thru is not unique

although I know its painful too. When I get 'overwhelmed' I try and

take ONE thing to do/work on and let the 'rest' wait their turn. As I

change my focus from the ENTIRE to the specific it becomes 'do-able'

and it isn't long before that one thing is done and I'm on to the next

and next etc. IE is like that, one itty bitty baby step at a time. Ya

gotta crawl before you walk and then RUN!

Ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...

>

> -feel full until I'm stuffed.

> -accept that "one" IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed to

> eat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could be

> satisfied with just one)

> -separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)

> -separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for eating)

> -figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm never

> satisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)

> -eat regardless of numbers.

>

> The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and I

> honestly don't know where to start.

>

> I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help at

> least with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger I

> get, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not that I

> know what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say "I'll do

> better tomorrow" and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a single

> sentence in this paragraph made any sense.

>

> I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because it

> really wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel bad

> now, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a bowl

> of cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for dinner.

> I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's coming

> from the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly full

> off of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,

> but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.

>

> BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really a

> mental cue thing?

>

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To answer your last-paragraph question... yes, the stomach actually

can both stretch and shrink.

Carolyn

>

> I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...

>

> -feel full until I'm stuffed.

> -accept that " one " IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed

to

> eat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could

be

> satisfied with just one)

> -separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)

> -separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for

eating)

> -figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm never

> satisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)

> -eat regardless of numbers.

>

> The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and I

> honestly don't know where to start.

>

> I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help at

> least with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger I

> get, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not

that I

> know what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say " I'll do

> better tomorrow " and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a single

> sentence in this paragraph made any sense.

>

> I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because it

> really wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel

bad

> now, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a

bowl

> of cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for

dinner.

> I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's

coming

> from the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly

full

> off of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,

> but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.

>

> BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really a

> mental cue thing?

>

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I found a copy of the Foods & Feelings Workbook ( Koenig) at a

bookstore, but you may want to call first as most people have had to

order it in order to get a copy. I wanted to see it first since I had

not been able to make use of Geenen Roth's Why Weight workbook and

didn't want to add another book to my 'collection'. There is also a

Yahoo group that discusses this book as well as your work with it.

Katcha

> >

> > I have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to...

> >

> > -feel full until I'm stuffed.

> > -accept that " one " IS enough (sometimes it really is, yet I proceed to

> > eat three of whatever just because I refuse to believe that I could be

> > satisfied with just one)

> > -separate my emotions from my eating. (use food to cope)

> > -separate my eating from my emotions. (feel guilty or bad for eating)

> > -figure out what I really want (this leads to binging as I'm never

> > satisfied, even if I was hungry in the beginning)

> > -eat regardless of numbers.

> >

> > The list goes on. I don't know how to do any of these things and I

> > honestly don't know where to start.

> >

> > I did buy the food and feelings workbook so maybe that will help at

> > least with the emotional eating part. But it's like, the bigger I

> > get, the more I binge and I can never focus on the problem (not that I

> > know what problem I'm trying to focus on). I always say " I'll do

> > better tomorrow " and I wind up doing worse. I don't think a single

> > sentence in this paragraph made any sense.

> >

> > I overate tonight, and I won't classify it as a binge because it

> > really wasn't. I didn't feel bad during the process, I don't feel bad

> > now, I just know that two large muffins, a piece of pita bread, a bowl

> > of cereal, and a veggie burger is WAY MORE than I needed for dinner.

> > I feel full, but not stuffed which irritates me because that's coming

> > from the girl who used to eat a bowl of salad and get sickeningly full

> > off of it. Yes, a bowl of lettuce made me feel full enough to puke,

> > but I ate that dinner tonight with just a bit of bloatedness.

> >

> > BTW, does your stomach actually stretch/shrink or is it really a

> > mental cue thing?

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________________________________________________

> More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -

http://webmail.aol.com

>

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It's weird that I never really realized I was trying to focus on the

whole picture and get it all down at the same time rather than taking

little steps. I tend to think that just because I've finished a box

of cereal or let myself eat a particular food that it means I have

completely legalized it until the next time I come across that food

and anxiety and thoughts of restriction and deprivation hit that I

realize it is still very forbidden. However, I keep thinking " Oh I've

eaten all of my forbidden foods, I should be able to eat anything and

stop halfway through and think about how I'm doing and stop when I'm

full and not feel guilty etc. " I think it's the weight gain from

overeating/binging on once forbidden foods that makes me want to rush

to the next step so that way I can lose this unwanted weight, yet I

don't take into consideration that I'll never get to the next step

until I legalize these foods as it's the feeling that I'll never allow

myself to have them again that seems to cause me to overeat them. I

swear, sometimes I think my mind will forever be in " diet mode " . I'm

not giving up on IE though. I guess I just need to take it a little

slower :]

Thanks!

>

> Can you focus on one of these things at a time? When you are looking

at all

> the things you don't know how to do, it can be overwhelming and seem

> impossible to master them all. I would suggest picking one and

working on it

> for a while. In time you will get to all of them.

>

> As far as the stomach stretching and shrinking, it's my

understanding that

> this is a myth. may be able to answer this better. I do know

that the

> whole idea of your stomach shrinking when you are on a diet and

until then

> you are going to feel more hungry is not true. But what I have been

told by

> knowledgeable people is that the stomach can stretch if you overeat,

but it

> will return to its normal size after the food is digested. It

doesn't stay

> stretched for a period of time until you start eating less.

>

> Would love to know more info on this from those who know!

>

> Thanks!

> Gillian

>

> Gillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

> Healthier Outcomes

> It's not just about losing weight!

>

>

> Want to eat your favorite foods without gaining weight?

>

> Get your copy of our fr*e special report, " 6 Simple Steps to Guilt Free

> Eating " by visiting http://www.healthieroutcomes.com

> <http://www.healthieroutcomes.com/>

>

>

> _

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I had never been much of an emotional eater or one to use food for

comfort in the past...I was more of a crier or one of those people you

need to keep breakables away from when they're angry :]

For some odd reason, when I started with IE, food became something to

drown all of my feelings in, good or bad. I started IE when a friend

of mine had passed away and though I wasn't necessarily using food to

comfort myself at the time, I'm thinking maybe I started associating

the sad feelings with eating as I had basically just started eating

(overeating actually due to legalizing foods) again. I was getting

anxious about eating because it was scary to me and now it seems when

I'm super anxious, I eat. So now I have to deal with allowing myself

foods and pinpointing WHY I'm eating at the same time and that alone

is overwhelming to me, never mind the whole " stop eating when you're

full " part. It's so hard to pick just one thing to focus on, yet it's

impossible for me to focus on everything at once!

>

> I can identify with that list, I feel that way most times myself. What

> comes to my mind is the impression that you are eating to 'comfort'

> yourself as well as maybe 'tell' yourself that you merit? (food is a

> 'gift' of love). I found the F & F workbook to be of use to me. It just

> seemed to 'calm' me around food, even when I haven't even made any

> earth shattering discovery either.

>

> Hang in there (here?) gal, what you are going thru is not unique

> although I know its painful too. When I get 'overwhelmed' I try and

> take ONE thing to do/work on and let the 'rest' wait their turn. As I

> change my focus from the ENTIRE to the specific it becomes 'do-able'

> and it isn't long before that one thing is done and I'm on to the next

> and next etc. IE is like that, one itty bitty baby step at a time. Ya

> gotta crawl before you walk and then RUN!

>

> Ehugs, Katcha

>

>

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Thank you so much! I figured it would stretch to some extent because

like you said, if it didn't my tummy would have burst months ago! I

was just wondering if these binges I've had where I stretch my stomach

to the max would have a permanent effect on me. I do notice that it

sometimes takes more to be satisfied/full, but I'm still not quite

sure how to understand my fullness cues and know when to stop so I

wasn't sure if it was just because of that or if my stomach is now

abnormally large lol.

I, too, learned how to shut off my hunger signals during the day when

I was restricting so that's also why I thought that either my stomach

has stretched out or maybe I am shutting off my fullness signals as

well. Maybe it's a bit of both.

Thanks again. :]

>

> " As far as the stomach stretching and shrinking, it's my

understanding that

> this is a myth. may be able to answer this better. I do know

that the

> whole idea of your stomach shrinking when you are on a diet and

until then

> you are going to feel more hungry is not true "

>

> The stomach is made of " elastic " tissue that can stretch to

accomodate a larger meal. If it couldn't I imagine my stomach would

have ruptured years ago after some of those king size binges I'd go

on. Heck, it probably would have burst open last weekend when I had a

heckuva non-stop free for all eating weekend!

>

> It is true that if you are eating way past the feeling of

fullness to over stuffed, after awhile your stomach may adjust and it

may take a bit more food to feel satisfied/full. But, that is if you

are doing that meal after meal for days and days on end with no rest

in between. For the most part your stomach size is pretty stable -

about the size of your loosely clenched fist. If you have a larger

than usual meal your stomach may stretch a bit to accomodate it but

after the food has digested it will go back to its usual size.

>

> As for shrinking, your stomach most likely won't get smaller than

the loosely clenched fist size example without a surgical intervention

(like gastic bypass). Which probably explains why when people diet

they feel hungry all the time...they aren't eating enough to fill

their tummies! Speaking strictly from my own experience, when I was

severely restricting I would wake up in the middle of the night from

the hunger pains. However, during the day when my mind was " on " I had

trained myself to totally ignore my hunger pains and cues so much so

that I had convinced myself that I wasn't really hungry. Looking back

now.......my poor body was crying for food and I had completely

trained my brain to ignore it. No wonder re-learning trust has been

such a slow process for me!

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

>

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Thanks for the clarification, ! This is what I thought, but I could not express it as well as you did. There is so much misinformation out there, it's crazy! I've lost weight in recent months and my dad is driving me crazy giving me all kinds of advice and one is that I need to stretch out my stomach so I'm more hungry. I just want to scream. He also says I should eat at certain times of the day and time it out.

I just want to ask him - do you have any idea what I do for a living?????? Crazy. But of course he's back on his famous "3 day diet". Yuck, never again.

Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSMHealthier OutcomesIt's not just about losing weight! Want to eat your favorite foods without gaining weight? Get your copy of our fr*e special report, "6 Simple Steps to Guilt Free Eating" by visiting http://www.healthieroutcomes.com

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of BSent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 8:14 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: I don't know how...

"As far as the stomach stretching and shrinking, it's my understanding thatthis is a myth. may be able to answer this better. I do know that thewhole idea of your stomach shrinking when you are on a diet and until thenyou are going to feel more hungry is not true"

The stomach is made of "elastic" tissue that can stretch to accomodate a larger meal. If it couldn't I imagine my stomach would have ruptured years ago after some of those king size binges I'd go on. Heck, it probably would have burst open last weekend when I had a heckuva non-stop free for all eating weekend!

It is true that if you are eating way past the feeling of fullness to over stuffed, after awhile your stomach may adjust and it may take a bit more food to feel satisfied/full. But, that is if you are doing that meal after meal for days and days on end with no rest in between. For the most part your stomach size is pretty stable - about the size of your loosely clenched fist. If you have a larger than usual meal your stomach may stretch a bit to accomodate it but after the food has digested it will go back to its usual size.

As for shrinking, your stomach most likely won't get smaller than the loosely clenched fist size example without a surgical intervention (like gastic bypass). Which probably explains why when people diet they feel hungry all the time...they aren't eating enough to fill their tummies! Speaking strictly from my own experience, when I was severely restricting I would wake up in the middle of the night from the hunger pains. However, during the day when my mind was "on" I had trained myself to totally ignore my hunger pains and cues so much so that I had convinced myself that I wasn't really hungry. Looking back now.......my poor body was crying for food and I had completely trained my brain to ignore it. No wonder re-learning trust has been such a slow process for me!

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

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As you can see I've gotten way behind in reading IE posts. I

recently joined the Diet Survivors group as well as the Food &

Feelings group, and even though I get all the posts in digest form I

am still getting so many! It takes me a while to read them all

because I like to read them slowly and really think about them. I

get SO much from you guys --it's wonderful!

Anyway, in response to this post about trying to focus on the whole

picture --- I can SO relate to this. I've been aware of it, I keep

telling myself I need to back off and take it step by step, but I

haven't really done that yet.

One thing my nutritional therapist emphasizes, and which I've read

about as well, is to just focus on ONE babystep, and to make that

baby step something that feels DOable. If it seems too hard, then it

won't happen because it will seem too overwhelming. I had trouble

believing what she was telling me but it's amazing. I don't feel

this sense of what I " should " be doing but am not because it's so

difficult. Instead, when I actually do practice that, it's a great

feeling to know I'm making progress even though it seems " too easy " .

I'm so glad this subject has come up because I've really been needing

to work on it myself! Thanks, guys!

~Jen S.

> >

> > Can you focus on one of these things at a time? When you are

looking

> at all

> > the things you don't know how to do, it can be overwhelming and

seem

> > impossible to master them all. I would suggest picking one and

> working on it

> > for a while. In time you will get to all of them.

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