Re: :P.S. sick bodysick role

[Guest guest]

Just to add to my last note, I do resent the healthy folks who don’t

understand nor try to understand what we go through and think we are just

playing a sick role.

Jane

*******************************

Subject: : " sick body " " sick role " a big difference(whats your point)

Why now? Have you helped anyone of us?

B <bethannUK@blueyonde <mailto:bethannUK%40blueyonder.co.uk> r.co.uk> wrote:

I never said people weren't sick. If you read my email, you will see

that I clearly say that people who ARE ill develop the sick role. The

sicker the person, the more likely the role is to develop. The problem

with the sick role is that it cripples people as much as the illness,

people start to believe that they are too ill to function, and they give

up on themselves, preferring to be really good at being sick instead of

being really bad at being well. They don't recognise the option- not

being either sick or well, but just being.Adapting.

All of you who cast judgement on my illness or health- you are

hypocrites- to label me as a hypocrite, to label me as not ill enough to

have an opinion, you yourself have done the same thing of which you

accuse me. Instead of reading the MESSAGE you chose to read the words,

and instead of finding something useful, healing, in what I said, you

chose to react- how dare I challenge you to seek wellness - meaning as

well as you can be given the limitations you have- so many of you have

chosen to defend your right to be helpless and hopeless. THAT is far

more a tragedy than your illness could ever be.

Those who said that what I suggested- exercise, good diet and hope-

were dangerous need to get reading and learning about their illness. The

real tragedy in FM is that the only way out is through the most

difficult pathway. That is evidence based.

Me? You won't believe a word I say because in order for me not to be

true about you you have to judge me. The harder you work to judge, the

more vitriolic you become the more truthful you know I am. And I know it

to- attacking me proves what I am saying about you. I went from fine

except for surviving two bouts of cancer to being practically wheelchair

bound, with a back that is so damaged it will never heal, unable to type

except with voice software, unable to do the fine arts for which I was

trained, unable to play a musical instrument, unable to swim as I had

once done competitively, unable to practice my career as I wish, and

pain for which the medications I need put me practically in a coma. Yes,

I have pain. But I am not going to let pain stop me from having a life,

because then it wins. I am not going to feel sorry for myself, or expect

my husband or family to listen to me constantly talking about the

tragedy my life has become- because this illness has given me insight,

made me stronger, made me more compassionate and empathetic, and more

realistic. And I refuse to feel sorry for myself, and since I have come

to that place, things are better. I am coming out the other side of this

bereavement- until you grieve and heal, you are stuck in the sick role,

no matter how you phrase it, justify it, or defend it, or argue against

someone else like me.

Those of you who attack me, I forgive you. Thank you to the many who

sent me private emails, talking about your frustration with the whining

and constant banging on that some people have, being entitled to be the

only ones who need attention, love and support. Far many more people

have written in support than those who posted here against me, because

they realised my message was one of hope, phrased toughly to get

noticed, but hope. They can't post openly because too many people cope

with their own pain by inflicting it on others. When there is one person

who can't speak, you are all prevented from being free, and you need to

see that. You dont have to like me- but if I can fire you up to fight,

then its worth it. When you stop fighting, you die. Just fight the right

thing.

Bethann

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list

as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your

dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well

as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't

be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that

situation better.

3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_

<mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe%40yahoogroups.com>

Support_Group-unsubscribe

4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling bad at

the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially take

something another member says the wrong way. And that includes the things

that one member may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro itself) even

though we who deal with illness whether one such as fibro or multiple

illnesses try to keep a sense of humor.

5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad day pls

let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

I don't mind the responses that I won't read but am getting VERY SICK

of this subject.

Debbie J

> I never said people weren't sick. If you read my email, you will

see

> that I clearly say that people who ARE ill develop the sick role.

The

> sicker the person, the more likely the role is to develop. The

problem

> with the sick role is that it cripples people as much as the

illness,

> people start to believe that they are too ill to function, and they

give

> up on themselves, preferring to be really good at being sick

instead of

> being really bad at being well. They don't recognise the option-

not

> being either sick or well, but just being.Adapting.

>

> All of you who cast judgement on my illness or health- you are

> hypocrites- to label me as a hypocrite, to label me as not ill

enough to

> have an opinion, you yourself have done the same thing of which you

> accuse me. Instead of reading the MESSAGE you chose to read the

words,

> and instead of finding something useful, healing, in what I said,

you

> chose to react- how dare I challenge you to seek wellness - meaning

as

> well as you can be given the limitations you have- so many of you

have

> chosen to defend your right to be helpless and hopeless. THAT is

far

> more a tragedy than your illness could ever be.

>

> Those who said that what I suggested- exercise, good diet and hope-

> were dangerous need to get reading and learning about their

illness. The

> real tragedy in FM is that the only way out is through the most

> difficult pathway. That is evidence based.

>

> Me? You won't believe a word I say because in order for me not to

be

> true about you you have to judge me. The harder you work to judge,

the

> more vitriolic you become the more truthful you know I am. And I

know it

> to- attacking me proves what I am saying about you. I went from

fine

> except for surviving two bouts of cancer to being practically

wheelchair

> bound, with a back that is so damaged it will never heal, unable to

type

> except with voice software, unable to do the fine arts for which I

was

> trained, unable to play a musical instrument, unable to swim as I

had

> once done competitively, unable to practice my career as I wish,

and

> pain for which the medications I need put me practically in a coma.

Yes,

> I have pain. But I am not going to let pain stop me from having a

life,

> because then it wins. I am not going to feel sorry for myself, or

expect

> my husband or family to listen to me constantly talking about the

> tragedy my life has become- because this illness has given me

insight,

> made me stronger, made me more compassionate and empathetic, and

more

> realistic. And I refuse to feel sorry for myself, and since I have

come

> to that place, things are better. I am coming out the other side of

this

> bereavement- until you grieve and heal, you are stuck in the sick

role,

> no matter how you phrase it, justify it, or defend it, or argue

against

> someone else like me.

>

> Those of you who attack me, I forgive you. Thank you to the many

who

> sent me private emails, talking about your frustration with the

whining

> and constant banging on that some people have, being entitled to be

the

> only ones who need attention, love and support. Far many more

people

> have written in support than those who posted here against me,

because

> they realised my message was one of hope, phrased toughly to get

> noticed, but hope. They can't post openly because too many people

cope

> with their own pain by inflicting it on others. When there is one

person

> who can't speak, you are all prevented from being free, and you

need to

> see that. You dont have to like me- but if I can fire you up to

fight,

> then its worth it. When you stop fighting, you die. Just fight the

right

> thing.

>

> Bethann

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on

the list

> as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check

with your

> dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds

as well

> as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is)

pls don't

> be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make

that

> situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_

> <mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe%40yahoogroups.com>

> Support_Group-unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling

bad at

> the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially

take

> something another member says the wrong way. And that includes the

things

> that one member may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro

itself) even

> though we who deal with illness whether one such as fibro or

multiple

> illnesses try to keep a sense of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad

day pls

> let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Me too.. It was just wrong judgement.. People with

Fibro are very sensitive to being taken wrong..

So I think it needs to end..too..

-- Re: .S. " sick body " " sick role "

I don't mind the responses that I won't read but am getting VERY SICK

of this subject.

Debbie J

> I never said people weren't sick. If you read my email, you will

see

> that I clearly say that people who ARE ill develop the sick role.

The

> sicker the person, the more likely the role is to develop. The

problem

> with the sick role is that it cripples people as much as the

illness,

> people start to believe that they are too ill to function, and they

give

> up on themselves, preferring to be really good at being sick

instead of

> being really bad at being well. They don't recognise the option-

not

> being either sick or well, but just being.Adapting.

>

> All of you who cast judgement on my illness or health- you are

> hypocrites- to label me as a hypocrite, to label me as not ill

enough to

> have an opinion, you yourself have done the same thing of which you

> accuse me. Instead of reading the MESSAGE you chose to read the

words,

> and instead of finding something useful, healing, in what I said,

you

> chose to react- how dare I challenge you to seek wellness - meaning

as

> well as you can be given the limitations you have- so many of you

have

> chosen to defend your right to be helpless and hopeless. THAT is

far

> more a tragedy than your illness could ever be.

>

> Those who said that what I suggested- exercise, good diet and hope-

> were dangerous need to get reading and learning about their

illness. The

> real tragedy in FM is that the only way out is through the most

> difficult pathway. That is evidence based.

>

> Me? You won't believe a word I say because in order for me not to

be

> true about you you have to judge me. The harder you work to judge,

the

> more vitriolic you become the more truthful you know I am. And I

know it

> to- attacking me proves what I am saying about you. I went from

fine

> except for surviving two bouts of cancer to being practically

wheelchair

> bound, with a back that is so damaged it will never heal, unable to

type

> except with voice software, unable to do the fine arts for which I

was

> trained, unable to play a musical instrument, unable to swim as I

had

> once done competitively, unable to practice my career as I wish,

and

> pain for which the medications I need put me practically in a coma.

Yes,

> I have pain. But I am not going to let pain stop me from having a

life,

> because then it wins. I am not going to feel sorry for myself, or

expect

> my husband or family to listen to me constantly talking about the

> tragedy my life has become- because this illness has given me

insight,

> made me stronger, made me more compassionate and empathetic, and

more

> realistic. And I refuse to feel sorry for myself, and since I have

come

> to that place, things are better. I am coming out the other side of

this

> bereavement- until you grieve and heal, you are stuck in the sick

role,

> no matter how you phrase it, justify it, or defend it, or argue

against

> someone else like me.

>

> Those of you who attack me, I forgive you. Thank you to the many

who

> sent me private emails, talking about your frustration with the

whining

> and constant banging on that some people have, being entitled to be

the

> only ones who need attention, love and support. Far many more

people

> have written in support than those who posted here against me,

because

> they realised my message was one of hope, phrased toughly to get

> noticed, but hope. They can't post openly because too many people

cope

> with their own pain by inflicting it on others. When there is one

person

> who can't speak, you are all prevented from being free, and you

need to

> see that. You dont have to like me- but if I can fire you up to

fight,

> then its worth it. When you stop fighting, you die. Just fight the

right

> thing.

>

> Bethann

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on

the list

> as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check

with your

> dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds

as well

> as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is)

pls don't

> be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make

that

> situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_

> <mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe%40yahoogroups.com>

> Support_Group-unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling

bad at

> the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially

take

> something another member says the wrong way. And that includes the

things

> that one member may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro

itself) even

> though we who deal with illness whether one such as fibro or

multiple

> illnesses try to keep a sense of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad

day pls

> let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>