Re: WOW!

[Guest guest]

This is a very interesting discussion. My first impulse is to join others in

saying to you, Fawnee, that your husband has no business blaming you for what

is a medical condition. To my mind, it's the same as blaming the cancer

patient for her disease, or the abuse victim for what happened. Sometimes bad

things happen to good people, we're born with genetic predispositions, etc. etc.

etc.

That said -- and I want to emphasize that I'm talking for myself and not

blaming anybody for anything, but rather trying to make sense of my own new

journey with this disease -- I know I am responsible for some aspects of this.

I

knew diabetes runs in the family, I knew I had many of the symptoms that lead to

the disease -- insulin resistance, obesity, etc. But I made choices, bad

ones -- to keep binge-ing on sugar and white flour, to not get exercise, to not

do the things that might have averted this. And I did those things for

decades, even when I had evidence (e.g., experience with low-carb eating) that

staying away from sugar and white flour and processed food) made a huge

difference

to me healthwise. I have to be responsible for the choices I make, if I am to

learn to live responsibly with this disease.

I was saying to a friend last night (we're all in our 50s now) that the

decisions we make today will affect what we are like in our 70s. I don't know

for

sure if, even if I do everything I'm supposed to do, I won't be experiencing

some of the horrible complications this disease presents. (That's another

question I want to pose, but I'll save that for another email). But I figure my

chances of being a spry, healthy 70 year old will increase if I work hard at

managing the disease now. The bottom line is that the decisions I made 20 years

ago, about diet, exercise, health, are coming back to haunt me now.

As I say, this is just me talking about me. I fight fierce cravings for

things I can't eat anymore, I wish I could say to h*** with this and go back to

doing what I always did. But nothing is going to change for me unless I change

my way of thinking first, and that's what this post is meant to do -- help me

change my thinking about food and health.

Again, I am not talking about blame. I'm talking about taking control and

accepting responsibility for whatever my part in this might be.

Vicky

Type 2, diagnosed 5/19/04

Diet, Exercise, Glucatrol

[Guest guest]

>Do you get support from your freinds and family? Are your freinds really

>friends or are they fiends??? For me, the answer is usualy no. My husband

>and family all tell me I did this to myself and I deserve it.

What rubbish. Sorry you have to hear things that way.

>My husband hasn't touched me since the diagnosis and says I spoiled

>everything for sex.

That, also, is total nonsense (unless you have turned diabetes into a way

to always have the proverbial " headache " ). I became T1 while pregnant in

1979 (at age 29) but diabetes never had an effect on my/our sex life. I

divorced in 1993 and remarried in 1995 . . . all the while a T1. Without

providing " too much information, " suffice it to say that my diabetes has

never had a deleterious effect on my sex life (though chronically

uncontrolled, too-high bg levels can cause impotence in men and disinterest

in women) even though my current husband has had a couple scary experiences

with middle-of-the-night drastic hypos.

>Everyone tells me what I should eat and I can't have this or that now and

>I need to " buckle down " .

Because of that sort of " armchair endocrinology, " I have never worn my T1

status " on my sleeve. " I never offer the information that I am diabetic and

never use it as an " excuse " to get special treatment or special food

(except when I was pregnant in 1979). I never say " I can't eat that " (with

the underlying implication that something different must be provided for me

because I'm " special " or " poor me " ) but just work around what's available.

There are always ways. Neither do I hide the fact that I am T1 . . . but

dealing with it, in my own way, is my responsibility not other people's. I

try not to do/say things that could be understood as tacit permission for

others to monitor or judge my eating and activities (because they don't

understand the odd balance anyway) and I work hard not to " get in their

face " with diabetes/insulin/testing. Those who know me well are well aware

of my T1 status and willing to help if (and only if) I ask for it or need it.

> and some have even hinted that I had a sinful life to cause it...

And that's considered " Christian " ??!?

I know that it's easier to say than to do, but do not take such nonsense to

heart. Such ignorant folks are just searching for ways to assure themselves

that they are somehow " better " than you . . . which, in itself, indicates

some serious insecurity. I seem to remember some admonition about " glass

houses " and " throwing stones. " Do not give such folks the power to make you

" down " on yourself. You cannot control what they say but you are the only

one with the power to decide how you take it and how (and to what extent)

you will allow them to affect you.

Take heart. Ignore idiots.

Sandy

T1 - 1979

[Guest guest]

:

>

> Do you get support from your freinds and family? Are your freinds

really friends or are they fiends???

>

>Fawnee- Your situation sounds almost identical to mine. No

support whatsoever. My family had bugged me for years to loose

weight, especially my mother, but I didn't, until I was dx'd with

T2. So when I was diagnosed, the family consensus was " told you so,

being fat was bad!! " Not very helpful!! So I can't reallly look to

them for support. And friends try to be helpful, but most don't

really understand that it's a long term committment, and that once

you lose alot of weight, you can't go back to the old way of eating,

but I believe most of them want to be supportive,

gail