Guest guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 Hello Everyone, I have been " lurking " for a couple of weeks now. What a great group this is. I have been thinking about writing the whole time but a few recent posts have really prompted both my husband and me to join in. It seems so many are getting bad news recently and tempers are flaring and moods are swinging. We are in a very similar situation. I will tell our story and include some questions that are really weighing on us. Husband Dale DX 12/10/2002 age 43, inoperable liver mets, no surgery of any kind, chemo 5FU/Leuk/CPT11 12-11-2002. Also began Celebrex, spring 2003. CEA steadily fell and weight steadily increased, but all CT scans showed slight increase in number of growths. CEA began to rise 9/2003, Oct CT scan showed progression in liver and lungs (Onc says certainly nothing to be concerned about???) Had port put in last week, began Oxa/Xeloda combo. No further tests this early. Question 1: Has anyone been DX with inoperable mets, then became " operable " after chemo treatment? Onc says this is still his goal, even though first chemo has failed. We have four daughters ages 11, 16,18, and 21 and a 1 year old grandson. Oldest and grandson live far away and seem to be okay with this. 18 year old has developed a system that seems to work for her, she will ask a basic questions, i.e. what stage, what drug, then tell us that's enough information and she'll look up the details when she's ready. 16 year old has developed ulcers and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, very stressed out, 11 year old doesn't say much but will occasionally come home and say she went to the school counselor again, (who is, by the way, a cancer survivor type unknown) Question 2: How do you deal with the kids? What do you tell them, what do you hold back? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. After almost 11 months since DX, Dale and I have had no disagreements over anything, trying very hard to maintain positive attitude in all aspects of our lives. Experienced a big blow up this week, lots of anger and hurt. We realize we are not angry with each other but this whole crazy situation. Question 3: Caretakers, how do you deal with the guilt of getting irritated or angry with the patient? I know how hard this has to be on him and I truly feel selfish for the things I think and feel sometimes. Again, any suggstions welcome. I am so sorry this is so long. I guess if I'd written sooner I wouldn't have so much to vent?? Thank you all just for having this group available and your willingness to share on an open forum. You have all been in our prayers since I started " lurking " . Kathy M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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