Sorry so long ....need an opinion!!

[Guest guest]

Hey Everyone,

How you all doing? Well I got rid of DH for the

evening he is out with the boys playing a poker so now

I can sit down and write my whole saga down in peace.

Well as I mentioned before something happened with

Ben's teacher that made me pull him out til the end of

the school year. Most have said I over reacted and

some agree with what I did.

So here goes......Ben started school in Nove he was

put in to an amazing class room. The teacher<> is

her name has 10 + years of experience with Autism. She

was well versed in ABA, discreet trail, pecs, she was

an amazing. The class ratio was 2:1. The kids loved

her......BUT in Dec she started to complain a little

about all the paper work she was having to do and it

was taking her away from the students so her aides

(who are also god sends they loved the kids)..picked

up alot of the slack.

It was getting to the point where when we request a

Behaviral Ass. she almost lost it.....she actually

snapped at Ben in front of us....the day we(my husband

always goes with me whenever dropping off stuff to

show a united front) dropped off the letter while we

were talking to Ben in a " socially appropiate "

manner walked up to me gently touched my hand and said

" Mommy may I go to my workstation now. "

Ok for any of you who waited how many years for your

child to string a sentence together and then interrupt

you in a proper manner ......shit I was so excited so

I looked up at (who at this point was still

holding my letter of request) and Ben just asked to

work at his workstation......what does she do??? Well

she turns around and snaps at him and says.... " Ben

school doesn't start til 8:15 so you have to wait. "

It was only 8:05!! I was hurt...I went home and fumed

and when I picked him I pulled her aside and explained

how I felt ...I told her I waited years for him to do

that and she just snapped at him because she was

stressed about my letter. She just about started to

cry I reached out to touch her arm to comfort her and

let her know I wasn't mad I just wanted her to know

that the least she could have done was praise him and

instead of snapping........well she then proceeds to

tell me she may not be here til the end of the year

because the stress is getting to her and she may try

and take " mental leave. This wasn't the first inkling

that she was stressed but I didn't realize how far

gone she was. I found out from her everytime I called

the school board to find out about a new something or

other...I wasn't calling to complain just

inquiring....

she would get a call and was told to talk to me as if

I was doing somethign wrong.

Anyways I was babbling....that was not why I pulled

Ben, about 4 weeks ago something happened that put me

in shock literally I went numb for the whole day and

arond 11pm that night I started to shake and couldn't

controll it and broke down and cried. And if you know

anything about me from my posts I am pretty easy going

and tend to approach things with a sense of humor and

if I loose god help me ....well I did. I was a wreck

for about 45 mins....my husband held me until I could

talk. The last time I shook like that was right before

my c-section.

YOu ask what got me so upset well here goes.....

It was picture day....so that in itself is pretty

stressful for a teacher especially one of spec. Autism

classroom...and on top of that there is a schedualed

fire drill at 1pm........so I can understand why the

teacher would be a little tense with 6 Autie boys

running around......anyways now I set up the day for

you.......at around 1pm - 1:10pm s doing the fire

drill well you know Autie boys they have a routine

don't mess with it cause it is hard for them to

understand and transiton. Well a good friend of mine

came around the corner to hear yelling " NO NO

NO " to one boy in the class (not Ben) and then when

she opened the door whe walked in she seen

holding on to Ben's upper arm and in a loud voice

.....loud enough to the point Ben was pulling away from

her voice/face looking kind of scared.

She said " NO BEN we are not getting MOMMY ...we are

doing a fire drill "

Thankfully my friend(her son is also a student in the

class) interviened and said she would hold Bens hand

for her until I got there. balked and said I

can't let you do that my friend reassured and told her

that we were all going to the park which we were.

I showed up to see my friend holding onto Ben's hand

which didn't bother me at all Ben's knows her and we

spend time together. I asked how the pictures

went and she didn't hear me so I reapeated the

question and she answered but she looked really

stressed like she was about to loose it. By this point

I began to reconize when she was stressed so I usully

just read his com book to see what went on in his day.

Once I get Ben to the car my friend pulls me aside and

starts of by saying " if it was my kid I would want to

know......and proceeds to tell me what happened. Like

I said I went numb it took me awhile to process it.

So did I overeact by pulling him?? The woman is burnt

out....she is retiring at the end of the year she is

finished gone ....bye bye. My friend kept her son in

the class even after seeing what she did with Ben.

What finally made me ok with my decsion to keep him

home was I would never do that to any ones child

Autistic or not. Funny thing is Ben loves school was

always excited to go and after that happened I

actually asked him if he wanted to go and he

said... " NO mommy I stay here " nough said I haven't

made him go back.

So what do you think and I crazy freaky Mom??

Now I am going to get back to answer all my e-mails!!!

Thanks

=====

TTFN

Wife to

Mom to Ben (aka Gozilla) 5yrs HFA/AS

On call milk machine to Abby(aka ....stinkerbell) 21MTHS NT

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

:

What you have seen and heard may not be much to go on (which is why

some people are telling you that you should not have pulled Ben out)

but your gut instinct is telling you something is seriously wrong in

this classroom and I would always tell a mom to go with her gut

instinct.

It sounds as if Diane is really suffering in some way, perhaps quite

unrelated to her job, but her job is sufficiently stressful, that

whatever is going on with her is hurting her ability to teach the

kids.

I think you did the right thing; it can be better not to wait for

hard evidence of serious problems.

Salli

[Guest guest]

The funny thing she wasn't like that in the beginning

but she did lost it fast.

--- myfishruleWJG@... wrote:

> I would have pulled him. Sounds like she needs some

> couseling.

>

> G

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It was and now I have turned into this controllng

witch who shall interview propestive teachers cause I

trust no one.

Funny thing I am naturally a trusting person some

would even say naieve....so I hate having to judge

people instead of trusting them.

--- jvonhunnius wrote:

> > Funny thing is Ben loves school was

> > always excited to go and after that happened I

> > actually asked him if he wanted to go and he

> > said... " NO mommy I stay here " nough said I haven't

> > made him go back.

>

>

> I think that is your answer right there.

>

> What a horrible disappointment, .

>

> (((hugs)))

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

-

Do I think you OVER-reacted? No...I think you REACTED like any Mom would.

Taking him out of school? I'm not so sure of....But removing him from ?

Yes. I think that was smart. If there was no alternative, then removing

him from school may have been your only choice.

Even though sounds like a good teacher, she obviously needs a break..

She probably should have left long before now.

Good luck to you....

Penny

[Guest guest]

I think you know what is best for your child. I know I have pulled my

kids for just a strange feeling about a situation. You have an actual

reason. I think you did the right thing. You can both start fresh

next year and wont have to worry that anything might happen to Ben.

Enjoy the time you guys have together and know that you did the right

thing.

Jacquie H

> Hey Everyone,

>

> How you all doing? Well I got rid of DH for the

> evening he is out with the boys playing a poker so now

> I can sit down and write my whole saga down in peace.

>

> Well as I mentioned before something happened with

> Ben's teacher that made me pull him out til the end of

> the school year. Most have said I over reacted and

> some agree with what I did.

>

> So here goes......Ben started school in Nove he was

> put in to an amazing class room. The teacher<> is

> her name has 10 + years of experience with Autism. She

> was well versed in ABA, discreet trail, pecs, she was

> an amazing. The class ratio was 2:1. The kids loved

> her......BUT in Dec she started to complain a little

> about all the paper work she was having to do and it

> was taking her away from the students so her aides

> (who are also god sends they loved the kids)..picked

> up alot of the slack.

> It was getting to the point where when we request a

> Behaviral Ass. she almost lost it.....she actually

> snapped at Ben in front of us....the day we(my husband

> always goes with me whenever dropping off stuff to

> show a united front) dropped off the letter while we

> were talking to Ben in a " socially appropiate "

> manner walked up to me gently touched my hand and said

> " Mommy may I go to my workstation now. "

> Ok for any of you who waited how many years for your

> child to string a sentence together and then interrupt

> you in a proper manner ......shit I was so excited so

> I looked up at (who at this point was still

> holding my letter of request) and Ben just asked to

> work at his workstation......what does she do??? Well

> she turns around and snaps at him and says.... " Ben

> school doesn't start til 8:15 so you have to wait. "

> It was only 8:05!! I was hurt...I went home and fumed

> and when I picked him I pulled her aside and explained

> how I felt ...I told her I waited years for him to do

> that and she just snapped at him because she was

> stressed about my letter. She just about started to

> cry I reached out to touch her arm to comfort her and

> let her know I wasn't mad I just wanted her to know

> that the least she could have done was praise him and

> instead of snapping........well she then proceeds to

> tell me she may not be here til the end of the year

> because the stress is getting to her and she may try

> and take " mental leave. This wasn't the first inkling

> that she was stressed but I didn't realize how far

> gone she was. I found out from her everytime I called

> the school board to find out about a new something or

> other...I wasn't calling to complain just

> inquiring....

> she would get a call and was told to talk to me as if

> I was doing somethign wrong.

>

> Anyways I was babbling....that was not why I pulled

> Ben, about 4 weeks ago something happened that put me

> in shock literally I went numb for the whole day and

> arond 11pm that night I started to shake and couldn't

> controll it and broke down and cried. And if you know

> anything about me from my posts I am pretty easy going

> and tend to approach things with a sense of humor and

> if I loose god help me ....well I did. I was a wreck

> for about 45 mins....my husband held me until I could

> talk. The last time I shook like that was right before

> my c-section.

> YOu ask what got me so upset well here goes.....

> It was picture day....so that in itself is pretty

> stressful for a teacher especially one of spec. Autism

> classroom...and on top of that there is a schedualed

> fire drill at 1pm........so I can understand why the

> teacher would be a little tense with 6 Autie boys

> running around......anyways now I set up the day for

> you.......at around 1pm - 1:10pm s doing the fire

> drill well you know Autie boys they have a routine

> don't mess with it cause it is hard for them to

> understand and transiton. Well a good friend of mine

> came around the corner to hear yelling " NO NO

> NO " to one boy in the class (not Ben) and then when

> she opened the door whe walked in she seen

> holding on to Ben's upper arm and in a loud voice

> ....loud enough to the point Ben was pulling away from

> her voice/face looking kind of scared.

>

> She said " NO BEN we are not getting MOMMY ...we are

> doing a fire drill "

>

> Thankfully my friend(her son is also a student in the

> class) interviened and said she would hold Bens hand

> for her until I got there. balked and said I

> can't let you do that my friend reassured and told her

> that we were all going to the park which we were.

>

> I showed up to see my friend holding onto Ben's hand

> which didn't bother me at all Ben's knows her and we

> spend time together. I asked how the pictures

> went and she didn't hear me so I reapeated the

> question and she answered but she looked really

> stressed like she was about to loose it. By this point

> I began to reconize when she was stressed so I usully

> just read his com book to see what went on in his day.

>

> Once I get Ben to the car my friend pulls me aside and

> starts of by saying " if it was my kid I would want to

> know......and proceeds to tell me what happened. Like

> I said I went numb it took me awhile to process it.

>

> So did I overeact by pulling him?? The woman is burnt

> out....she is retiring at the end of the year she is

> finished gone ....bye bye. My friend kept her son in

> the class even after seeing what she did with Ben.

>

> What finally made me ok with my decsion to keep him

> home was I would never do that to any ones child

> Autistic or not. Funny thing is Ben loves school was

> always excited to go and after that happened I

> actually asked him if he wanted to go and he

> said... " NO mommy I stay here " nough said I haven't

> made him go back.

>

> So what do you think and I crazy freaky Mom??

>

>

> Now I am going to get back to answer all my e-mails!!!

>

> Thanks

>

>

> =====

> TTFN

>

>

> Wife to

> Mom to Ben (aka Gozilla) 5yrs HFA/AS

> On call milk machine to Abby(aka ....stinkerbell) 21MTHS NT

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

You should see the other 2 he has written...this is so

easy for him....I love how he uses their rules and

words against him it is so much fun to watch.

--- The Byks wrote:

> What an AMAZING letter!!!

>

> Will your hubby write our IEP this fall??

>

> -Sara.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks I am pretty proud of my husband. He has really

stepped up to the plate for this stuff.

--- myfishruleWJG@... wrote:

> That's a fabulous letter!

>

> G

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thanks it is nice 2 know I am not crazy....

--- wrote:

>

> You did the right thing...that teacher is on the

> edge!

> (inAus)

>

> >>>at around 1pm - 1:10pm s doing the fire

> drill well you know Autie boys they have a routine

> don't mess with it cause it is hard for them to

> understand and transiton. Well a good friend of

> mine

> came around the corner to hear yelling " NO

> NO

> NO " to one boy in the class (not Ben) and then

> when

> she opened the door whe walked in she seen

> holding on to Ben's upper arm and in a loud voice

> ....loud enough to the point Ben was pulling away

> from

> her voice/face looking kind of scared.

>

> She said " NO BEN we are not getting MOMMY ...we

> are

> doing a fire drill "

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Amy,

You should see him, everytime I get a post I tell him

what you guys have said and he blushes...he is such a

sweet man.

--- Amy Helmuth wrote:

> What a wonderfully written letter. He did a great

> job!

>

>

> Amy H--in Michigan

> Kepler 4 1/2 ASD and Bethany 6 NT

> " although one has a responsiblity to stick things

> out to the limit of one's

> endurance, one also has to have the courage to

> retreat and lick one's

> wounds, so as to return to the fray refreshed. "

> ~Kenzaburo Oe

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

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>

>

>