Re: 's last update

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/12/2004 12:13:57 PM Eastern Standard Time,

altman23@... writes:

> While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty disease.

>

Dear ,

My deepest, deepest condolences on the loss of this man, your husband, who,

as far as *I* am concerned, was a Saint. My mother-in-law would NOT be alive

right now were it not for 's information and advice, as well as the

marvelous, compassionate concern, caring, and sharing of wisdom on the part of

other

members of this board.

I rarely cry -- but your post set me to weeping. Our family owes your husband

SO much.

He has flown straight to Heaven, where Saints belong, free of pain, and all

of the agony of his struggle. How wonderful he passed to his deserved reward,

safe, loved, warm and at home with his family.

I am so very sorry to lose him. I will never be able to thank him enough in

my prayers.

God be with you, always.

Gwen

[Guest guest]

There are no words that I can say! The customary I'm sorry just

doesn't seem adequate. I am in shock!!! I will miss him terribly.

God grant you and your family peace during this sad, sad time and in

the days ahead. I will never forget him.

A tremendous (((((((HUG)))))))

Monika

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I can't find the words to tell you how sorry I am. My heart is

filled with sadness. was the most unselfish person I'll ever

know and the bravest. You and your daughter are in my prayers and

thoughts today and for a very long long time to come.

Sadly,

Kat

-- In colon_cancer_support , " altman23 "

<altman23@y...> wrote:

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I am so sorry for your loss, and I am sure it's everyone's on this

board too. I am so shock, devastated, sad, numb and God knows many

other feelings that I just can't describe right now. I joined this

board late and even though just through messages, I felt like I knew

personally. He is my hero, inspiration and I know his legacy

will live on, but this board will never be the same without .

From just reading his mesages, I could tell how wonderful, care and

loving person he is. That's where sometime I question God's motive

for taking him away from all of us.

May God bless you and your family with peace during this difficult

time. As for , I will forever miss him dearly.

Sincerely,

Loc

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on

.

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just

sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was

also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what

was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

My husband and I are so sorry for your loss. We want to express our

appreciation for all of the hard work and dedication he put into this

group. We truly appreciate all he did and will continue through this

group. His legacy will continue and we know he will be missed

greatly.

My God give you peace and comfort in your time of sorrow and loss.

Our prayers are with you and your daughter.

Becky & Jeff Beach

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear - I am so terribly saddened to hear about 's

passing. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

Your husband helped so many through rough times by sharing his

stories, his knowledge, and kind and encouraging words. Such things

take a great deal of time, and I am most gratful for his generosity

in sharing this with us. We will all miss him terribly. Such a kind

and couragous person will not be forgotten.

My prayers go out to you and your family. May the memories of the

good times help comfort you in this difficult time.

Kris

[Guest guest]

I'm absolutely gutted. was a great help to me when I was first

dx'd. Please accept my deepest sympathies.

-Ken

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/12/2004 12:14:13 PM Eastern Standard Time,

altman23@... writes:

I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

How like you are...wishing us well while you are dealing with so much

yourself. What an awesome couple.

I've spent the afternoon trying to pull my thoughts together and write, like

others I am devastated although not necessarily surprised. I feared that

hadn't been very well for a good while but he was always so compassionate

and concerned about others that he seemed reluctant to dwell on his own

struggles. Words just cannot begin to express the loss I feel. I found and

contacted

this site December of 2002 when I was frantic and practically unable to

comprehend what I was reading and as many have said, spoke up right away -

pointing me in the right direction, letting me know unequivocally that I was not

alone, that there was help available. The support group, his website, his

almost constant responses to all who wrote...he was truly a gift to the cancer

community.

To say I will miss him sounds like such an understatement. Knowing what an

empty spot I feel at this time, I cannot even imagine what this loss must be

like for you and your daughter. I will hold you both in my prayers...may God

hold you near, may He grant you peace and ease, may He wrap his arms about you

and keep you close.

If there is anything at all that we can do to help, please don't hesitate to

let us know.

God bless,

Terry in GA

[Guest guest]

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

Dear ,

I am so very sorry for your loss, but also the loss all of us here on

the board will feel. This brings teare to my eye,s was such a

caring giving man and helped so many of us. He will be greatly missed

by us all.If did know what was happening Saturday night I would

think he was protecting you and your daughter. I am sure it would

comfort you knowing you were able to say I love you and goodbye but,

try to replace those thoughts with this saying " knew I loved

him so very much " because my dear sweet lady he knew and he loved you

so through this terrible fight. No one should have to go through

this. I pray that God will bless you and your little girl and your

entire family, and everyone that feels this great loss. heaven has a

wonderful new angel and I truely believe you will see him

again one day. You have a special angel watching over you now.

Take Care and God Bless You

Jana

[Guest guest]

,

My heart aches for you. I send you love and hugs and the hope for

some small comfort in your grief. Have no regrets, as

absolutely KNEW how much you loved him. He often expressed it here

in his messages. I have never known anyone as courageous and giving

as . He was a blessing to us all and I'll miss his good humor,

positive attitude, and loving kindness.

My love to you and your daughter.

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on

.

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just

sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was

also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what

was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lynn: We don't know what to say..he was always there,always upbeat..we just

assumed he would be there. he (and you) have done so much for so many there

are sure to be stars in his crown. Nick was affected and very very quiet,he

had been

reading for the last 5 days or so. I can only say we are so sorry,yet we are

grateful

for his clear resonses,the time e gave to us and his effect in general on the

boar.

This must have hit you like a ton of bricks,we will think of you,pray for

you,and remember all the kind words keith has for all. Thanks for beng

there,keep

those

good moments close,hold on to them,and know,he is not suffering and he will

be a model for us all. Thank you,thank him..stay well hugs and best thoughts

nick & Jane

[Guest guest]

You put it so very eloquently..We have been here for only 6 months or so but

he

was a symbol..we felt if he could do it so could we..We were both

shocked,even

though if you really look at his last three posts,he seemed resigned and

counselled

us to look..He helped so many,and so willingly,never asking,always giving..no

matter

what your belief in the hereafter..I feel he has his own star and if we look

out at the

sy this evening,that one shing so brightly is his beacon,the eternal flame of

hope,

the faith that moved mountains until finally it took him home God Bless Nick

& Jane

[Guest guest]

My Dear ,

I have been trying to take a cancer break and just came over to take

a peek and am still in total shock.

, one of s last post to me was a while back when I was

so concerned about him. He had not posted for a while and I posted

saying not to worry about us that we would keep his board going.

His reply was, Thank you for caring, but I want you all to know this

is not my board it's for all of us here. He truly meant that, and

just like a said, WE will not let it go. This site must

continue on as a legacy to a truly great man.

Please take care of yourself and your daughter. Give her special

hugs and kisses. This has to be such a hard time for all of you.

, I know that you are up in heaven, smiling down on all of us.

We will never forget you.

Joyce &

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on

.

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd

lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just

sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard

for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was

also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he

refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what

was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was

surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is

this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

:

I am so sorry about the loss of your dear . He was an

incredibly special person whose spirit will live on in all of us

forever. I remember when I first found him. My husband, who had

been diagnosed with Stage IIIB colon cancer in 7/00, had a recurrence

in 7/01. I did not know where to turn. In my darkest hour, I was so

fortunate to find the original SupportPath website in which a Stage

IV survivor, , wrote many posts which seemed very compassionate

and informative. After I finally got up enough courage to send some

questions, he replied immediately and helped to give me and my family

great information and most of all, hope. When the SupportPath site

disappeared, started this Yahoo site and continued his support

of others throughout his illness, even though at times, he was so

very ill.

This site has grown to over 300 members with posts that have grown

from 160/month to over 1100 posts in November!!! All of the members,

survivors and caregivers alike, have developed a very special bond

with one another, and especially , as we have supported each

other during this difficult time. His impact has been phenomenal.

Survivors are living longer and more productive lives. Caregivers

are finding strength, courage, and comfort. The major reason that so

many people come to this site is the accuracy of information and

caring support that he has given to everyone. He has been able to

read very complicated medical literature and reword it accurately

into layman's terms so that everyone can understand it. He has

reported all of the latest treatments, procedures, and surgery

available. He has set the tone for very accurate and thoughtful

posts and trained all of us to attempt to follow his example. In

addition, he has given everyone the tools and guidelines to follow in

their search for the best plan for them and most of all, hope.

Most of us refer him fondly as our " guru " . I am so very honored and

blessed to have known him.

My deepest condolences to you and your daughter,

Sending hugs, much love, and healing,

Amie

[Guest guest]

It has been heartwarming to read the posts expressing the esteem

held for 's work on this board.

He faced this disease with outstanding courage and calmness to

the end.

's Mom & Dad

Ed &

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I have not posted much on this board but have read every post. I

have never cried before for someone I never met. was a

wonderful person who helped everyone on here. We will never forget

him. God takes the best for himself. You are a very special person

to share so much of his final time with us. Thank you. May God be

with you and your daughter.

Hugs and Prayers,

Judy

[Guest guest]

Dear :

I am filled with deep sorrow. My most sincere condolences to you and

your daughter.

With love,

Jodi

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7 and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room. I'd lit

> a fire log and my daughter and I were reading books so very warm,

> quiet and comfortable setting. We had thought he was just sleeping,

> so we were trying to be quiet and leave him alone to rest. Friday

> morning his foot was even more swollen and it was extremely hard for

> him to get from our bed to his chair. He never left the chair. I

> wanted him to go to the hospital as his foot was starting to look

> purplish and he was getting little bruises on his arms. He was also

> rather confused and I was afraid his oxygen was low. But he refused

> to go (I can't pick him up to carry to the car)so just waited. I

> think way down deep he must have felt like time to go and most

> comfortable at home. My biggest regret was not recognizing what was

> happening and telling him goodbye and 'I love you.' It was surprising

> how fast he faded in those last few days.

>

> He fought a good fight for as long as possible and his legacy is this

> board where so many others in our position can share information,

> support and hope. While I haven't been able to keep up with the

> posts, I know many people have gotten so much help with so many of

> the questions associated with this nasty diease.

>

> I wish everyone else the best of luck with all their struggles.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am another infrequent poster but a daily reader. I just wanted to

say I'm sorry for your loss. will be missed by myself and many

other " strangers " that he touched through this message board. He

gave many the gift of knowledge, understanding and compassion.

Cliff H.

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I am shocked and tremendously saddened. was a hero to me and

many many others on this board. He was always a source of

inspiration, information, and hope. He was always there....

I never had the pleasure of meeting him, but in a way I really loved

him, for all that he was and all that he did for so many.

He will certainly be missed greatly.,,

Alan

[Guest guest]

I am writing from Istanbul, Turkey. I felt enormously saddened by the

loss of . Although I don't post much, I used to read his posts

regularly and felt very close to him. He was a brave and passionate

man who made this board what it is and gave hope and courage to a

large number of people reading his posts. May God rest his soul in

peace and give courage to the ones he left behind.

With love and respect for his memory,

Esref Eskinat

> Hi everyone, this is 's wife posting a final update on .

> He died peacefully in his sleep Saturday night sometime between 7

and

> 9 pm while snoozing in his favorite chair in our living room.

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I'm fairly new to this group. I joined in early December when my Dad

went in for a routine polpectomy and they found a cancerous growth in

his colon.

I quickly learned that was a wealth of information and always ready to

share that knowledge with others. Not only that, but he was also kind,

encouraging, and always helpful to others--no matter if they were stage I

or stage IV. I was devastated to hear that he is no longer with us. I really

felt that he would be the one to beat this horrible disease. I sincerely

believe that your family will be reunited with someday. And I believe

that he is still with us and cheering us on from above.

May God give you, your daughter, and the rest of your family comfort

and strength in this difficult time. You were so lucky to have this special

man in your life.

Sincerely,

Karin (Toby's daughter)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/12/2004 10:14:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,

edsmav@... writes:

It has been heartwarming to read the posts expressing the esteem

held for 's work on this board.

He faced this disease with outstanding courage and calmness to

the end.

's Mom & Dad

Ed &

I echo the sentiments of the others here....thank you so much for , a

truly great soul.

May God bless and keep you,

Terry in GA

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to add my condolences to 's family. I, like many

others, am in a state of shock - was a wonderful human being who

cannot be replaced. He replied to my posts many times, although he

didn't need to, and his replies were always informative and comforting.

- Darren

[Guest guest]

You had a most unusal son,and you raised him well. Courageous,thoughtful,

insightful,knowledgeable,concerned and caring. No selfish thoughts,no unkind

words,no problem to big or to small. An unusual,caring and considerate man.

You have every reason to be proud of his admirable behavoir,as do we,who

benefied

most from it. Stars such as his,shine as time passes,the lustre doesn't

dim,it

is a candle in the midnight sky, a whisper in the wind, a glistening in the

raindrops,

a spot of color in the rainbow. nick & Jane

[Guest guest]

,

I truly am sad to my core. I have been reading this board for 3.5 years and

has always been there for me. Any question, worry or concern he was

always there with an answer or encouraging word. I spoke of him around

friends and family like he was an old friend with the same " problem " I had.

I can only imagine how wonderful it was to be a daily part of his life and

recieve his love in person.

He spoke of you and with true love and came through in every email.

He has also left behind a huge family hear on this board. I'm sure a few

gallons of tears are being shead across the world on his behalf. He was an

amazing man and he left a legacy that you and can be proud of forever

for he truly was a " special " person that is rarely found in people these

days.

Please accept my deepest sympathies for words seem so inadequate...Please

know that my prayers are with you and your families for peace and happiness.

With much love,

Dee Kilgore