Re: It gets worse was sucky day

[Guest guest]

Jane,

You said it beautifully. When I visited my mother last time, I changed her diaper & wiped her butt & helped her eat - I didn't mind doing it; it's just part of life right now.

I'm afraid that I'll be in diapers someday & I don't want to be. just tells me that we'll do what we have to do. I know I would/will change his diapers, whatever he needs, in the future; so why is it so hard for me to accept that he feels the same way about my needs?

Christy, I'm sure that when the time comes, you'll accept the help & love your family & friends for doing these things for you.

-- Re: It gets worse was sucky day

Christy, I don't think that is one of the private issues that any of us really want to deal with no matter how long we've been married or living with someone. One of my friends in CA stepped off a curb wrong and fell and broke one wrist and sprained the elbow on the other arm so she had to deal with this. She said that despite the fact that she and Hank have been married more than 40 years, it was the most humiliating thing to have to have him wipe her butt and also help her put her bra on and shift the boobs around in place.You'll handle it fine when the time comes though. We all know that it's not by choice that you will be doing these things but because of the love you share that you help out a spouse in a time like this.It's no different than when a spouse starts having to diaper their ill mate because the mate no longer can do it for themselves...it's just something you look past and get in there and do. My Mom did it for my Dad for 7 years and I sure 's sister never thought she would be doing such things for her Mom...but you do it because you love them and want to make them comfortable. The difference is that you will be cognizant of all that is happening and a stroke patient or someone with another illness may not be. You'll do fine.Jane> You know, we've been married 13 years and I STILL do not want that man wiping my ass.> > > sucky day> > > I'm going to hide under the covers for the rest of the week.> > Just came home from my rheumatologists office. OK, I got home 4 hours ago and I have been bawling ever since.> > The humira is NOT working. All of my labs are haywire and my sed rate has gone to 45. EVERYTHING is high. My doc has always been straight with me and I love him for it but today I cried like a baby and I know he wished he had lied to me. We're running out of options, in his words. I've tried, and failed, everything known for RA and it's either made me worse, didn't work at all or created new problems. My lung tumor is growing, the good news is the kidney tumor is still the same. My nerves are shot (I've always known that with 2 teenagers but now it's really true! Literally!) I see the nerve doc on Thursday though I don't know why I'm bothering!!> > We're going to go to every week on the Humira (if my damned insurance agrees! We have to fight them first!) We thought of trying the Arava (the ONLY thing we haven't tried) but it's too hard on the liver and my liver is going bonkers too! My liver labs are bad and my upper abdomen is swollen so much I look like a snowman. I guess I hadn't wanted to notice but he noticed today and freaked. My edema is worse but we can't go any higher on the lasix. If the Humira every week doesn't help or if my insurance won't approve I'm screwed. Unless something new (and safe for my other stuff) comes out soon, I'm finished.> > The only thing we can increase is my prozac and he offered (damn near insisted) but I reminded him about my group here and told him I'd get my support here, not from yet another pill. OK, send it already! LOL> > He gave me a prescription for a lift chair (I told him we were shopping for a comfortable recliner I could get out of easily) but I think he would have given me a prescription for anything in the world right then!> > We increased my Vicodin and he's calling my pain management doc to see what else they can do on that end to "keep me comfortable." He said his reasoning is that he knows I'm still young and he wants me to still have some quality of life when I'm older. I told him that my quality of life right now sucks and I don't even want to think about getting older.> > OK enough whining. I need to go read emails and see what else is up. You guys have been chatty. I hope everything is ok.> > I love you guys and I would be completely lost without all of you by my side. It's nice to have someone there to talk to and chat with and laugh with but it's also nice to know that when life sucks and you can't take anymore, someone will be there to hold your hand and hug you until you can continue on. Thank you guys for the hugs and for holding my hand!> > Christy> > > > > Please visit our website at:> http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com > >