Re: Self acceptance-Oh I hear ya.

[Guest guest]

Oh yeah. I think I'm not truly legalizing food, not just type but

quantity. I feel more food obsessed now than when I was just not

eating.

I so feel you on the exercise/eating thing. It seemed that when

I " stepped up " the workouts, the binging started.

Plus I still have amenorrhea and then I freak out that, " Maybe I'm

not eating enough or working out too hard " then I binge over that

stuff, too.

I didn't have any issues with my cycle when I did light workouts and

underate. I only did cardio 3x a week for about 30 minutes just for

heart health.

*Odd note, when I did the s it was the only time I liked how my

body looked, even after losing only a few pounds.

So I find myself in this weird " quandry " . Stay with butt

kicking/muscle building workouts and just deal with the fact that I

may eat like a horse from it look like She-Hulk with flab or stay low

intensity and watch my intake like a hawk--but get slim again.

Have you had these thoughts,too? Just curious

> > >

> > > Your story sounds familiar. I've gained almost 10 lbs since

> > starting

> > > IE in January, and I also tend to restrict and do excessive

> > exercise

> > > to atone for my eating sins. I'm at a normal weight right now,

> but

> > I

> > > feel so fat and even ashamed of my body at times (at the gym in

> > > particular). I so desperately want to rid myself of this

weight,

> > and

> > > I've become more and more open to returning to a diet - that's

> how

> > > anxious I am about my current state. In spite of these diet

> > thoughts,

> > > I'm still eating a la IE but not rewarding myself as much as

> before

> > > with forbidden foods. So far, I've only lost 1 lb, but I'm

> willing

> > to

> > > give it until after the holidays before I let myself consider

any

> > > drastic measures such as returning to a diet. I truly hope I

can

> > save

> > > myself from a diet, but I just cannot stand to live like this

> > > anymore. In some ways, although I hate to say this, the

> > unhappiness

> > > from the weight gain seems worse than any neurotic behaviours I

> had

> > > while dieting.

> > >

> > > I too would appreciate hearing thoughts on this dilemma.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, I am definitely with you on being more " obsessed " now than

before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-obsessed. I

simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming

desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation. I so envy

the author of that 20-reason list of why IE works for her - so much

of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just

not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not sure...curious what

you think.

> > > >

> > > > Your story sounds familiar. I've gained almost 10 lbs since

> > > starting

> > > > IE in January, and I also tend to restrict and do excessive

> > > exercise

> > > > to atone for my eating sins. I'm at a normal weight right

now,

> > but

> > > I

> > > > feel so fat and even ashamed of my body at times (at the gym

in

> > > > particular). I so desperately want to rid myself of this

> weight,

> > > and

> > > > I've become more and more open to returning to a diet -

that's

> > how

> > > > anxious I am about my current state. In spite of these diet

> > > thoughts,

> > > > I'm still eating a la IE but not rewarding myself as much as

> > before

> > > > with forbidden foods. So far, I've only lost 1 lb, but I'm

> > willing

> > > to

> > > > give it until after the holidays before I let myself consider

> any

> > > > drastic measures such as returning to a diet. I truly hope I

> can

> > > save

> > > > myself from a diet, but I just cannot stand to live like this

> > > > anymore. In some ways, although I hate to say this, the

> > > unhappiness

> > > > from the weight gain seems worse than any neurotic behaviours

I

> > had

> > > > while dieting.

> > > >

> > > > I too would appreciate hearing thoughts on this dilemma.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yep, I am definitely with you on being more "obsessed" now than > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-obsessed. I > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation.

You know I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm also getting desperate...I'm at this point too where the fact that I'm stronger and more physically fit NOW at 35 then when I was a teenager doesn't even matter.

Light workouts got me skinny and who cares about the rest. If that makes any sense.

I just feel beat up all the time by my workouts, so that just makes it worse.

You know, I never thought about "not being ready" for IE. You could be on to something there.

I know from the fitness forums I read that some keep "re-trying" IE and eventually end up at WW or on some other diet plan. There are a few cases of people who are successful with IE, but again, they've also accepted being a higher weight than they'd like. Maybe that's the key right there.

>> Yep, I am definitely with you on being more "obsessed" now than > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-obsessed. I > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation. I so envy > the author of that 20-reason list of why IE works for her - so much > of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just > not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not sure...curious what > you think.> > ---

[Guest guest]

Hey Marguerite,

Keep on going. You can do this. I would advise you to stay away from

the scale if you feel weight obsessed. If you know Jesus Christ, pray

to Him for strength not to eat from greed. When you start thinking

about weight or food at inappropriate times, try shifting your focus

somehow. Call a friend, take a bath, read a book, go for a walk, sew,

watch tv, take a nap, clean, volunteer,....there's so much more out

there to ponder than weight.

I don't think anyone is ever 100% ready to start IE. Disordered eating

is something that is very difficult to let go of. If you wait until

you are completely ready to jump into IE, you may never leap. Really,

take the plunge - it's worth it.

It's taken me over two years to get to the point I'm currently at -

where I truly feel neutral about all foods and I trust my body enough

to eat whatever I want until I'm satisfied. When I first started IE I

was binging and miserable, and I gained about 10 pounds. I'm sure it's

off now because of the way my clothes fit. I don't step on the scale.

Period.

Another piece of advice: If you know any woman who is naturally slim,

please observe her behaviors and attitudes about food. This activity

is really helpful to see how the naturally slim can eat when they are

hungry and stop when they are satisfied. You can learn to adopt those

behaviors, too.

Keep plugging away at this. You can do it. Don't give up.

>

> Yep, I am definitely with you on being more " obsessed " now than

> before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-obsessed. I

> simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming

> desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation. I so envy

> the author of that 20-reason list of why IE works for her - so much

> of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just

> not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not sure...curious what

> you think.

[Guest guest]

:

That's very good advice. Come to think of it, when I was doing a

Bible Study and taking the time to pray and read I felt better about

everything.

I have been praying everyday for this stronghold to break and it's

just not.

I feel like I have to help myself...if that makes any sense?

> >

> > Yep, I am definitely with you on being more " obsessed " now than

> > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-

obsessed. I

> > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming

> > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation. I so

envy

> > the author of that 20-reason list of why IE works for her - so

much

> > of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm

just

> > not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not sure...curious

what

> > you think.

>

[Guest guest]

I have not accepted myself at the weight I am. I do

not want to be 330 pounds the rest of my life. So I

think your statement might be right for some of us but

I don't think it applies to all.

Michele

> There are a few

> cases of people who are successful with IE, but

> again, they've also

> accepted being a higher weight than they'd like.

> Maybe that's the key

> right there.

>

>

>

MicheleCR: Freak

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I really have a bad feeling with the word greed. I

don't eat because I am greedy. That has such negative

connotations for me. I eat for lots of reasons but I

don't believe I eat because I am greedy. Greedy to me

means taking more than my share and not letting others

have any. I do not deprive anyone by eating more than

I should.

Do I sound like I am making sense?

Michele

--- julieca84 wrote:

> If you know

> Jesus Christ, pray

> to Him for strength not to eat from greed.

MicheleCR: Freak

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Sorry Michele! I didn't mean to offend you.

I think you should be proud of what you have accomplished with IE.

>

> I have not accepted myself at the weight I am. I do

> not want to be 330 pounds the rest of my life. So I

> think your statement might be right for some of us but

> I don't think it applies to all.

>

> Michele

>

>

> > There are a few

> > cases of people who are successful with IE, but

> > again, they've also

> > accepted being a higher weight than they'd like.

> > Maybe that's the key

> > right there.

> >

> >

> >

>

> MicheleCR: Freak

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I am so with you on that connotation with the word " greed. " I have

always felt that adds an extra layer of " Seven Deadly Sins " to food

issues, as if having disordered eating is not already enough of a

burden.

>

> > If you know

> > Jesus Christ, pray

> > to Him for strength not to eat from greed.

>

> MicheleCR: Freak

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Funny you should mention people who try IE and return to diets. I

was remembering that my past success at being an intuitive eater only

occurred after I had lost my weight through WW and felt comfortable

enough in my body to trust myself. Right now, I'm so upset about my

weight that I'm not comfortable enough to give myself liberty with

food. I wonder if that makes sense? Anyway, I'm feeling very

conflicted and definitely not happy with myself right now...

> >

> > Yep, I am definitely with you on being more " obsessed " now than

> > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-obsessed.

I

> > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming

> > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation. I so

envy

> > the author of that 20-reason list of why IE works for her - so

much

> > of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just

> > not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not sure...curious what

> > you think.

> >

> > ---

>

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks so much for your support. I do so desperately want to get rid

of this monkey on my back, but I'm so unhappy with my body right now

that I'm not sure I can tolerate walking around with an extra 10

pounds. Where I was constantly thinking about food before IE, I am

now constantly thinking about my weight and dreaming about dieting to

return to my former self.

You are right that there is never an ideal time to start IE, but I

somehow believe that I would be more successful if I could start

again after returning to my lower weight. Does this make any sense?

> >

> > Yep, I am definitely with you on being more " obsessed " now than

> > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm weight-

obsessed. I

> > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and am becoming

> > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my situation. I so

envy

> > the author of that 20-reason list of why IE works for her - so

much

> > of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm

just

> > not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not sure...curious

what

> > you think.

>

[Guest guest]

Hun,

You did not offend me...I just wanted to point out

that this applies to some and not others. I am not

that sensitive that I would be offended by your

comments...I just wanted to make a point.....No

worries.

Michele

--- press182 wrote:

> Sorry Michele! I didn't mean to offend you.

> I think you should be proud of what you have

> accomplished with IE.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > I have not accepted myself at the weight I am. I

> do

> > not want to be 330 pounds the rest of my life. So

> I

> > think your statement might be right for some of us

> but

> > I don't think it applies to all.

> >

> > Michele

> >

> >

> > > There are a few

> > > cases of people who are successful with IE, but

> > > again, they've also

> > > accepted being a higher weight than they'd like.

> > > Maybe that's the key

> > > right there.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> > MicheleCR: Freak

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

If I may ask, how much overweight are you? Are we

talking hundreds of pounds or 10's of pounds?

Michele

--- Marguerite wrote:

> Funny you should mention people who try IE and

> return to diets. I

> was remembering that my past success at being an

> intuitive eater only

> occurred after I had lost my weight through WW and

> felt comfortable

> enough in my body to trust myself. Right now, I'm

> so upset about my

> weight that I'm not comfortable enough to give

> myself liberty with

> food. I wonder if that makes sense? Anyway, I'm

> feeling very

> conflicted and definitely not happy with myself

> right now...

>

>

> > >

> > > Yep, I am definitely with you on being more

> " obsessed " now than

> > > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm

> weight-obsessed.

> I

> > > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and

> am becoming

> > > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my

> situation. I so

> envy

> > > the author of that 20-reason list of why IE

> works for her - so

> much

> > > of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to

> wonder if I'm just

> > > not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not

> sure...curious what

> > > you think.

> > >

> > > ---

> >

>

>

>

MicheleCR: Freak

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

By medical standards, I'm not overweight, but I am 10 pounds heavier

now than I was when I began IE in January.

> > > >

> > > > Yep, I am definitely with you on being more

> > " obsessed " now than

> > > > before - I was food-obsessed before, and now I'm

> > weight-obsessed.

> > I

> > > > simply cannot stand myself like this anymore and

> > am becoming

> > > > desperate in my thinking about how to remedy my

> > situation. I so

> > envy

> > > > the author of that 20-reason list of why IE

> > works for her - so

> > much

> > > > of that list simply eludes me. I'm beginning to

> > wonder if I'm just

> > > > not ready for IE at this point in my life. Not

> > sure...curious what

> > > > you think.

> > > >

> > > > ---

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> MicheleCR: Freak

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

This is just my opinion and you can take it or leave

it and you might want to leave it as I am wayyyyyy

heavier than you and maybe you don't want to listen to

the fat chick :-) but I think your focus needs to be

more on the emotional issues you are having with food

than on the amount you weigh. It sounds to me like

you are in more need of getting the food issues

straightened out and then the rest will come. I know

to you right now 10 pounds is a lot but in the grand

scheme of things it really isn't a lot.

Like I said...listen to me or don't but coming from my

point of view there are bigger things you need to

worry about than the 10 extra pounds you are carrying

around.

Michele

--- Marguerite wrote:

> By medical standards, I'm not overweight, but I am

> 10 pounds heavier

> now than I was when I began IE in January.

>

>

MicheleCR: Freak

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I am working on "Intuitive Exeercising". Meaning that I only do it when I truly feel like I need/want to move. I am working on releasing this "need" to exercise. And, I only do what I feel like doing. My favorite machine is the eliptical so lately I have been doing 30 minutes on the eliptical. In the summer/fall I was doing a lot of walking, but then was having problems with plantar faciatis. When I do strength training I only do what I feel like my body wants to do - I really like working my core. One thing I am totally into is sometimes just doing some stretching - it feels so good! When I observe my hunger, I do notice that when I do exercise more, I do tend to be hungrier, usually the next day. I am learning to listen to that and honor what my body is telling me and stop questioning it.. I think finally, my weight has stabalized and I'm not gaining anymore. Maybe even losing just a little bit, but you know what - I don't care. I'm just relishing in listening to my body and honroing it - it feels way better than beating it up with exercise or trying to restrict certain foods. So, in summary, I think it is normal to be hungrier, especially when you are doing more or intense exercise. Listen to you body - it will tell you what it needs.

Alana

-------------- Original message --------------

Oh yeah. I think I'm not truly legalizing food, not just type but quantity. I feel more food obsessed now than when I was just not eating.I so feel you on the exercise/eating thing. It seemed that when I "stepped up" the workouts, the binging started.Plus I still have amenorrhea and then I freak out that, "Maybe I'm not eating enough or working out too hard" then I binge over that stuff, too.I didn't have any issues with my cycle when I did light workouts and underate. I only did cardio 3x a week for about 30 minutes just for heart health.*Odd note, when I did the s it was the only time I liked how my body looked, even after losing only a few pounds.So I find myself in this weird "quandry". Stay with butt kicking/muscle building workouts and just deal with the fact that I may eat like a horse from it look like She-Hulk with flab or stay low intensity and watch my intake like a hawk--but get slim again.

BR>Have you had these thoughts,too? Just curious> > >> > > Your story sounds familiar. I've gained almost 10 lbs since > > starting > > > IE in January, and I also tend to restrict and do excessive > > exercise > > > to atone for my eating sins. I'm at a normal weight right now, > but > > I > > > feel so fat and eve

n ashamed of my body at times (at the gym in > > > particular). I so desperately want to rid myself of this weight, > > and > > > I've become more and more open to returning to a diet - that's > how > > > anxious I am about my current state. In spite of these diet > > thoughts, > > > I'm still eating a la IE but not rewarding myself as much as > before > > > with forbidden foods. So far, I've only lost 1 lb, but I'm > willing > > to > > > give it until after the holidays before I let myself consider any > > > drastic measures such as returning to a diet. I truly hope I can > > save > > > myself from a diet, but I just cannot stand to live like this > > > anymore. In some ways, although I hate to say this, the > > unhappiness > > > from the weight gain seems worse than any neurotic behaviours I > had > > > while dieting. > > > > > > I too would appreciate hearing thoughts on this dilemma.> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

I'm thinking that the self acceptance is not about 'weight' so much as

it is about finding that the total of 'you' is acceptable, if not down

right lovable! And how one's body 'is' just IS. A body is not a static

thing either, it changes all the time. But since we have to live in

the skin envelope we've got, dissing it doesn't seem like something

supportive of it. So how is a body to be encouraged to be 'what it is

meant to be' if the 'owner' BEATS on it too?!?

>

> I have not accepted myself at the weight I am. I do

> not want to be 330 pounds the rest of my life. So I

> think your statement might be right for some of us but

> I don't think it applies to all.

>

> Michele

>

>

> > There are a few

> > cases of people who are successful with IE, but

> > again, they've also

> > accepted being a higher weight than they'd like.

> > Maybe that's the key

> > right there.

>

[Guest guest]

Michele, I too qualify along those lines! But when I read your posts I

sure don't think 'fat chick' (although I do put a like 'label' on

myself at times :-O ) Its very hard to not 'keep after yourself' when

so much in our lives (pants, mirrors, moving about) can be a painful

reminder of our lack of being how our bodies would be better off as -

smaller! Yet you ARE hanging in with this worthwhile change AND being

supportive of others who are working so hard in doing likewise. I like

ya!! Bet you are liking you too more these days ehugs, Katcha

>

> I am wayyyyyy heavier than you and maybe you don't want to listen to

> the fat chick :-)

>

> Michele

[Guest guest]

I have a hard time with that word, as well. For me, it seems

self-punishing and judgemental, which are two of the things I'm trying

to get away from,lol!

>

> > If you know

> > Jesus Christ, pray

> > to Him for strength not to eat from greed.

>

> MicheleCR: Freak

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I've never liked 'Greed' in context with overeating. They use it that way in

England - it doesn't

have that connotation to them. It's just the word they use. However, it did for

me, and I never

got used to it.

>

> I really have a bad feeling with the word greed. I

> don't eat because I am greedy. That has such negative

> connotations for me. I eat for lots of reasons but I

> don't believe I eat because I am greedy. Greedy to me

> means taking more than my share and not letting others

> have any. I do not deprive anyone by eating more than

> I should.

>

> Do I sound like I am making sense?

>

> Michele

[Guest guest]

This comes partly from some stuff people said here - and a lot from some things

I've seen

on TV today.

I am about 40 pounds overweight - by anyone's standards. But I can say with all

honesty I

would rather stay this way and have a real life - a life free from the sad

obsession with

food and worrying about every bite I eat and how I'm going to 'work it off' and

feeling

'guilt' about FOOD. How crazy is that to feel guilty for eating? Or to be stick

thin and have

to spend hours at the gym trying to stay that way - to have my self esteem tied

up in not

having a feminine form.

To get one life and spend it on food. and at the end of my life have what to

show for it?

Have done what with it? Enjoyed it how? lived, loved, laughed, had adventures -

or worried

about exact amounts of carbohydrates or being an a 'zone' or what is 'clean' -

what is

WRONG with people that they think that is really important and is something to

judge a life

over - their own or someone else's?? Are we going to put on our tombstone ' she

at clean'

or 'she had 9 percent body fat' ?

We're not talking about eating well enough to have a long healthy life - this is

not healthy

and it's not life.

It makes me so sad to think that their are soooo many people for whom this IS

their life.

And there are a lot of people feeding this obsession and making money off them.

I wish I

could box IE up and give it to everyone for christmas.

A bunch of steroids and forty pounds can only ruin my happiness and my life if I

let them.

And I'm sure as heck not letting them.

>

> > By medical standards, I'm not overweight, but I am

> > 10 pounds heavier

> > now than I was when I began IE in January.

> >

> >

>

> MicheleCR: Freak

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, thanks for the wake-up call. That was sobering, if not

inspirational. As I read your commentary, I could almost catch a

glimpse of myself as a happy but not stick-thin woman with no food

anxieties. I know I should just trust the process, but I have a lot

self-talking and healing to do to feel comfortable on the IE path...

> >

> > > By medical standards, I'm not overweight, but I am

> > > 10 pounds heavier

> > > now than I was when I began IE in January.

> > >

> > >

> >

> > MicheleCR: Freak

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Marguerite,

Please do not wait until you are at a lower weight to start eating

intuitively. Of course weight gain is common when legalizing foods,

but it is not inevitable. Had I legalized foods more slowly and paid

more attention to finding hunger and fullness early on, I believe

those 10 pounds could have been avoided.

You can still lose weight in this process. I promise. Your body will

return to its natural weight over time when you learn to eat within

the boundaries of hunger and satisfaction.

>

> ,

>

> Thanks so much for your support. I do so desperately want to get rid

> of this monkey on my back, but I'm so unhappy with my body right now

> that I'm not sure I can tolerate walking around with an extra 10

> pounds. Where I was constantly thinking about food before IE, I am

> now constantly thinking about my weight and dreaming about dieting to

> return to my former self.

>

> You are right that there is never an ideal time to start IE, but I

> somehow believe that I would be more successful if I could start

> again after returning to my lower weight. Does this make any sense?

>

[Guest guest]

My understanding is that greed is to desire excess despite that one's

needs are met. I believe that one must learn to be content with

satisfaction versus overstuffed and that means learning to be less greedy.

Sorry if I've offended you. Just wanted to explain where I'm coming from.

>

> > If you know

> > Jesus Christ, pray

> > to Him for strength not to eat from greed.

>

> MicheleCR: Freak

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Very well said! Thanks for posting, as always!

--Alana

-------------- Original message --------------

This comes partly from some stuff people said here - and a lot from some things I've seen on TV today.I am about 40 pounds overweight - by anyone's standards. But I can say with all honesty I would rather stay this way and have a real life - a life free from the sad obsession with food and worrying about every bite I eat and how I'm going to 'work it off' and feeling 'guilt' about FOOD. How crazy is that to feel guilty for eating? Or to be stick thin and have to spend hours at the gym trying to stay that way - to have my self esteem tied up in not having a feminine form. To get one life and spend it on food. and at the end of my life have what to show for it? Have done what with it? Enjoyed it how? lived, loved, laughed, had adventures - or worried about exact amounts of carbohydrates or being an a 'zone' or what is 'clean' - what is WRONG with people that they think that is really important and is something to judge a life over - their own or someone else's?? Are we going to put on our tombstone ' she at clean' or 'she had 9 percent body fat' ? We're not talking about eating well enough to have a long healthy life - this is not healthy and it's not life. It makes me so sad to think that their are soooo many people for whom this IS their life. And there are a lot of people feeding this obsession and making money off them. I wish I could box IE up and give it to everyone for christmas.A bunch of steroids and forty pounds can only ruin my happiness and my life if I let them. And I'm sure as heck not letting them.> > > By medical standards, I'm not overweight, but I am> > 10 pounds heavier > > now than I was when I began IE in January.> > > >> > MicheleCR: Freak> > ______________________________

____________________>