Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 Dear Lyssa, I have a very active 16 month old and work out of my house 4 hours per day. Lately, it's all I can do to read the posts. Some day soon, I hope to be able to write. I also receive posts from the main OSSG board, and between the two, my email is quite full. Does having so many subscribers cause operating problems for the list? If so, then I could understand why you would need to unsubscribe some people. If not, then I hope you will let us lurkers continue to lurk if that's all we can do for now. I admire all of the work you do for this group and respect your concern for its effectiveness, and hope that you will reconsider. Thanks much, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 We have so many members and not too many posters .. and alot of the lurkers are on no mail so I can't tell if they are reading messages from the web or just forgetting about the list. I'm going to start doing a weekly roll call to try and get more people participating. You have 3 days to respond when you see your name otherwise you'll be unsubscribed. I'm not trying to be mean but this is a support list and I'd really like to see people on the list participating .. I will only be calling the no mail/web only individuals. If I recognize your name I will not unsub you without first trying to reach you personally. I know people join lots of groups and set and wait to see if they like it, but how do they know if they like it or not til they talk!!! Here are the first set of names. You will have until Sunday to respond. ---------------------------------------------------------------- amn760@... aquaphilli@... brandywyne@... cdjames@... daisie@... ------------------------------ Thankyou for your cooperation. Lyssa - list owner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 Hello Lyssa I was just reading the posts. I'm sure there are alot of people , like me who get very busy and don't have time to post. But just reading the posts are support. I will be offline for a month while I move and don't want to be unsubscribed. We are on this list for support, and reading posts is a form support for alot of people. I don't think it would be fair to unsubscribe people for not responding within three days. What if they are away and miss there name? Please re think this. What if they are in the hospital and can't respond in time? Please let me know what you think? JO ROLL CALL PLEASE READ We have so many members and not too many posters .. and alot of the lurkersare on no mail so I can't tell if they are reading messages from the web orjust forgetting about the list.I'm going to start doing a weekly roll call to try and get more peopleparticipating.You have 3 days to respond when you see your name otherwise you'll beunsubscribed. I'm not trying to be mean but this is a support list and I'dreally like to see people on the list participating .. I will only becalling the no mail/web only individuals. If I recognize your name I willnot unsub you without first trying to reach you personally. I know peoplejoin lots of groups and set and wait to see if they like it, but how do theyknow if they like it or not til they talk!!!Here are the first set of names. You will have until Sunday to respond.----------------------------------------------------------------amn760@...aquaphilli@...brandywyne@...cdjames@...daisie@...------------------------------Thankyou for your cooperation.Lyssa - list owner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2000 Report Share Posted September 21, 2000 Hi , I can understand completely. Just pop in for a second here and there, fill us in on your progress, ask anything, or simply say " HI " ...we're here to say Hi right back to you. Good luck with the kids! Dawn Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ Dear Lyssa, I have a very active 16 month old and work out of my house 4 hours per day. Lately, it's all I can do to read the posts. Some day soon, I hope to be able to write. I also receive posts from the main OSSG board, and between the two, my email is quite full. Does having so many subscribers cause operating problems for the list? If so, then I could understand why you would need to unsubscribe some people. If not, then I hope you will let us lurkers continue to lurk if that's all we can do for now. I admire all of the work you do for this group and respect your concern for its effectiveness, and hope that you will reconsider. Thanks much, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 I agree with Joe. I have been unexplainably depressed lately and really don't feel like posting. It's all I can do to read it. Russ 304/249/175 open rny 08/01/00 Dr. S. Randall LMH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Hello to all, I don't post very much...want to know the reason...cause the last time that I posted I was criticized for questioning the need for someone who was only about 250 - 260lbs did they really need the surgery!! That confrontation can from Lyssa (who I now find out is the list owner).?? Well, I can tell you that there seems to a double standard her and I don't much appreciated it. It seems that if you say something positive that someone (I won't name names) says then it's like oh great idea or oh I was thinking that to. Then if on the other hand this same person doesn't approve she tries to change the subject matter and or puts their own twist on it. Hey censorship has gone out with everything else that is useless...got it get it. If you want to unsub me well than go ahead cause I am not leaving I am staying and the lurking!!!! PS Want to know more..I went to the last Newton Wellsley support meeting and there was a newsletter of some sort and i was reading it. wouldn't you know that the editor was our very one Lyssa and the funniest part was that she put down under the tidbit section this Peer support groups web site address, what she didn't put was an " * " meaning as long as it is " OK " with me!!!! Just me 2 cents Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Please don't delete me!!! Surgery in 3 days, 4 days in the hospital... one day in bed at home and you better believe I'll be back on line!! -Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Ouch, Mike you sound very angry... Glad you expressed it finally, but did you consider privately emailing Lyssa to see if one or both of you had misunderstood what the other was trying to say? BTW, I am one of those 250-260 lb people and I'm having the surgery on Monday. I know there are others out there who question the necessity of surgery at my weight and I'm be more than happy to discuss it with you via private email so that you might have a better understanding. You may still feel the way you do after debating, and thats fine too. -Kathy 09/25/00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Hi Priscilla, I too read every day and post once in a while. and it seems for the same reasons you do. i have posted and felt ignore for the most part. i was begining to think i did it wrong. i guess its part of our makeup. i dont take rejection. it makes me shy away. i do learn alot everyday just in reading the posts. i hear myself telling people what i have learned in this group. maybe some day I/we will be more confident, and post more, but i enjoy lurking and reading all i can. Diane R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 What's wrong Russ? Quite often we hit a depression patch after post op .. thats one reason its so important to attend the support group meetings. I hope things are looking up for you! You're doing great, you've got a wonderful family .. if you need to chat let us know! There's always the good ole soup group. lol. Lyssa -----Original Message----- From: blinddog1996@... I agree with Joe. I have been unexplainably depressed lately and really don't feel like posting. It's all I can do to read it. Russ 304/249/175 open rny 08/01/00 Dr. S. Randall LMH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Russ, What's up? I hit a depression stage about the same amount of time after my surgery, but found as time progressed, I got through it. I had a feeling of " Did I do the right thing, why does it hurt like this, why can't I be one of those people who can just lose weight and keep it off etc " . Hang in there, it will get better, but PLEASE just vent, we're all here to listen, and offer support to those in need. If you'd rather, please mail me privately, I'm willing to help in any way I can. Take care sweetie! Dawn Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ I agree with Joe. I have been unexplainably depressed lately and really don't feel like posting. It's all I can do to read it. Russ 304/249/175 open rny 08/01/00 Dr. S. Randall LMH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 In a message dated 9/22/00 8:55:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Bargene@... writes: << >> Russ If it's any consolation, I have been feeling blue for about a week myself. It ticks me off because I can't put my finger on what's bothering me. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Mike, I'm sorry you feel the way you do, however I have to give my $.02 worth also. I honestly don't think that Lyssa was intentionally trying to " hurt " anyone on this list, she was just doing what she was told from OSSG. There are people that lurk which is completely fine to do, however, some people (including myself) which at times, sign up for something, then simply forget if they chose not to be on a list, to unsub. I'm not trying to step on any toes, you have every right to say what you want, but if there are personality differences etc., sometimes it does help to let it out and get others opinions, or simply unsub for personal reasons. We all have preferences, and I'm sorry someone said something about the # of weight and saying the comment they did, but again, I have replied back to various subjects, not realizing until AFTER I sent it, how it was worded, and sometimes, unfortunately, it was worded incorrectly, and I needed to fix my mistakes. If you'd like to learn more about WLS, and feel better talking one-to-one, feel free to e-mail me privately, we're all here to offer our help, listen to others concerns, or simply have an " ear " at times. Hang in there, hope to hear from you. Dawn Open RNY 8/9/99 Dr. Sheldon Randall Lawrence Memorial Hosp. 433/249/1?? Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ Hello to all, I don't post very much...want to know the reason...cause the last time that I posted I was criticized for questioning the need for someone who was only about 250 - 260lbs did they really need the surgery!! That confrontation can from Lyssa (who I now find out is the list owner).?? Well, I can tell you that there seems to a double standard her and I don't much appreciated it. It seems that if you say something positive that someone (I won't name names) says then it's like oh great idea or oh I was thinking that to. Then if on the other hand this same person doesn't approve she tries to change the subject matter and or puts their own twist on it. Hey censorship has gone out with everything else that is useless...got it get it. If you want to unsub me well than go ahead cause I am not leaving I am staying and the lurking!!!! PS Want to know more..I went to the last Newton Wellsley support meeting and there was a newsletter of some sort and i was reading it. wouldn't you know that the editor was our very one Lyssa and the funniest part was that she put down under the tidbit section this Peer support groups web site address, what she didn't put was an " * " meaning as long as it is " OK " with me!!!! Just me 2 cents Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 I feel the same way Russ, I had my surgery August 28th. I had depression before the surgery so I do see a doc and therapist. Some days I am up, some days I am down. It take a lot of effort to get my butt off the couch and exercise. I seem to be more sensitive to things now. I have heard that this is common. I am thankful for the surgery, that I came through fine, I have lost 30 lbs, so in addition I am embarrassed for feeling down. I don't know if that makes any sense. This group is the only place where I feel understood. Barb > I agree with Joe. I have been unexplainably depressed lately and really don't > feel like posting. It's all I can do to read it. > > Russ > 304/249/175 > open rny 08/01/00 > Dr. S. Randall LMH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Barb, I COMPLETELY understand! You're absolutely right in my opinion for feeling more sensitive to things now. I have a VERY short fuse lately, mostly due to depression I've dealt with for the last few years, but one thing I did wrong (for me), was the day before my surgery, I stopped taking my antidepressant. Now, a year later, I'm back on them, at a higher dosage, and have to realize that some people just need it to help them through the seratonin thing in their heads. Not all people require med's to help w/that, but in my case I do, and at first I did feel ashamed thinking " Now, I've lost a lot of weight, I should feel good about myself " , however, even though my esteem is drastically increased, weight isn't everything. There are often times many underlying issues, that I didn't realize were bugging the crap out of me, until I talked to many people, both on the list, and professionally. If it takes one pill per day for the rest of my life, so be it, as long as I'm thinking straight, then I'll eventually be at an even " keel " to maintain my attitude problem, I've so longly had! Dawn Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ I feel the same way Russ, I had my surgery August 28th. I had depression before the surgery so I do see a doc and therapist. Some days I am up, some days I am down. It take a lot of effort to get my butt off the couch and exercise. I seem to be more sensitive to things now. I have heard that this is common. I am thankful for the surgery, that I came through fine, I have lost 30 lbs, so in addition I am embarrassed for feeling down. I don't know if that makes any sense. This group is the only place where I feel understood. Barb > I agree with Joe. I have been unexplainably depressed lately and really don't > feel like posting. It's all I can do to read it. > > Russ > 304/249/175 > open rny 08/01/00 > Dr. S. Randall LMH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Hi there, I read every day but only post once in a while. The information I pick up is usually useful except for the back and forth chatter which does not have much to do with WLS. I feel a little excluded since I don't go to the same support group and know folks personlly but since I went to one hospital's support group and switched doctors and had surgery at another I don't connect with many people. I lurk and I post. Mostly the posts are ignored but sometimes I get responces and it is very helpful. This listt\ is a resource for me. Priscilla > > Reply-To: OSSG-NewEnglandegroups > Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 19:27:40 -0400 > To: <OSSG-NewEnglandegroups> > Subject: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ > > > We have so many members and not too many posters .. and alot of the lurkers > are on no mail so I can't tell if they are reading messages from the web or > just forgetting about the list. > > I'm going to start doing a weekly roll call to try and get more people > participating. > > You have 3 days to respond when you see your name otherwise you'll be > unsubscribed. I'm not trying to be mean but this is a support list and I'd > really like to see people on the list participating .. I will only be > calling the no mail/web only individuals. If I recognize your name I will > not unsub you without first trying to reach you personally. I know people > join lots of groups and set and wait to see if they like it, but how do they > know if they like it or not til they talk!!! > > > Here are the first set of names. You will have until Sunday to respond. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > amn760@... > aquaphilli@... > brandywyne@... > cdjames@... > daisie@... > > ------------------------------ > > Thankyou for your cooperation. > Lyssa - list owner > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Mmm Mike wow not sure where all that came from. You can question the need of whether or not someone needs surgery at a certain weight or not. To be honest I don't recall our conversation. Obviously you took it alot more personally than it should have been. First of all if you put out there you don't see why someone at 250 lbs needs the surgery well I think its only reasonable to have people who were that weight or less that had surgery will speak up. I myself for one. I met the criteria of morbid obesity, my insurance felt the medical necessity was there and I had it done. Why a conversation about that would send you into lurkerdom is beyond me. Im' not sure what double standard you are talking about. As for changing subject matter or putting a twist on it if you are talking about me I'd really love you to write me privately and tell me what the heck you are talking about. I've never censored anyone. Thank you very much. The is an unmoderated list and you can post as you see fit. The only thing I have ever done as a list owner is talk about editing posts for content length in replies for those on digest. A standard protocol I might add. As for being the Editor of a Newsletter at NWH. Let me say I was approached and asked to do it. What you see wrong with that I have no idea. As for our support group list being mentioned. Yes it was. Again Dr. Thayer and Dr. Reines ASKED me to list it on their newsletter. They support this list. I also put other support group and information down. As for the comment you wrote: " the funniest part was that she put down under the tidbit section this Peer support groups web site address,what she didn't put was an " * " meaning as long as it is " OK " with me!!!! " Well dear lurker person I have no clue what you are insinuating but I'm surprised at you the feedback that I've had on this list has gone against everything you have said. I know myself you do not. If you find it amusing that I am an Editor for a newsletter for the hospital surgery team well thats your own private joke I guess. If you feel you can do better why don't you try to contribute something other than issuing slanderous statements. Lyssa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Priscilla, I'm sorry about all the personal posting, I simply do it to try and make the best of my day, and I too, didn't know lot's of people, talk to many on line that I haven't a clue who they are, but they seem to help me get through my day. Make sense? You are part of this group, and even though we haven't met, we can learn of peoples choices, health issues, family subjects etc., if they chose to talk amongst each other. Please don't feel offended, my intentions are just such to have a happy good day, even if I don't know who the heck half the people are> LOL! Dawn ROLL CALL PLEASE READ > > > We have so many members and not too many posters .. and alot of the lurkers > are on no mail so I can't tell if they are reading messages from the web or > just forgetting about the list. > > I'm going to start doing a weekly roll call to try and get more people > participating. > > You have 3 days to respond when you see your name otherwise you'll be > unsubscribed. I'm not trying to be mean but this is a support list and I'd > really like to see people on the list participating .. I will only be > calling the no mail/web only individuals. If I recognize your name I will > not unsub you without first trying to reach you personally. I know people > join lots of groups and set and wait to see if they like it, but how do they > know if they like it or not til they talk!!! > > > Here are the first set of names. You will have until Sunday to respond. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > amn760@... > aquaphilli@... > brandywyne@... > cdjames@... > daisie@... > > ------------------------------ > > Thankyou for your cooperation. > Lyssa - list owner > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Dont worry Ive given up on that idea. You're ok! Hope you are feeling better Lyssa -----Original Message----- From: kchyet@... Please don't delete me!!! Surgery in 3 days, 4 days in the hospital... one day in bed at home and you better believe I'll be back on line!! -Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Ok I must jump in here. I am also mostly a lurker but do post occasionally. I too feel somewhat secluded like Priscilla. I am not in LMH or NWH support groups and also live very far north that making the get togethers can be hard. But I also get a lot of support from this list. I think that Lyssa is a great list owner and feel that this is the best list I have been on. I have been on a list that ran and it was a disaster. Lyssa has even been as kind to send me Splenda at no charge so that I would be able to try it out and get someone in my area to carry it. Thank god Shaws finally is! I also get depressed at times and am seeing someone for it even though she doesn't think meds are necessary for me. It helps to be able to come here and read my emails. Even though I may not post that often I get the support just from reading. I thank all of you for the support and sorry for rambling. Lea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Pam, I live in Berlin, NH. Which is the biggest area in northern NH. It is only 1 1/2 hrs away from the Canadian border. In fact it is mostly a French community. It is a rather rural area as some know. I do love it here its just so removed from most things. Lea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 I understand that... I also have disappeared from the list for bits of time.. it just depends on how busy things get..then I start missing my wicked list buddies and have some severe catch up to do... I am trying to work on it and get to the list a little bit everyday... *hugs*Wickedbob akaPAMopen RNY 6/26/00235/185/125Lahey Clinic Dr. Brams Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ I agree with Joe. I have been unexplainably depressed lately and really don't feel like posting. It's all I can do to read it. Russ304/249/175open rny 08/01/00Dr. S. Randall LMH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 MIke... I don't know why you are having a negative attitude about this list or Lyssa.. first off.. if you are going to dish it out (meaning questioning someone 250 or so having this surgery) then expect to get some back... My weight was 236 when I had this surgery on 6/26 this year.. who are you to decide what weight you should be before you have this surgery.. I think it is always best not to stand in judgement.. you have no idea how that person lives unless you walk in their shoes... I think you need to take a good look at yourself before you start judging.. We are all in this together rather you have 120 or 520 pounds to lose... and we are all here to give support and get support... So my advice to you is to get the chip of you shoulder... *hugs*Wickedbob akaPAMopen RNY 6/26/00235/185/125Lahey Clinic Dr. Brams Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ Hello to all,I don't post very much...want to know the reason...cause the last time that I posted I was criticized for questioning the need for someone who was only about 250 - 260lbs did they really need the surgery!! That confrontation can from Lyssa (who I now find out is the list owner).?? Well, I can tell you that there seems to a double standard her and I don't much appreciated it. It seems that if you say something positive that someone (I won't name names) says then it's like oh great idea or oh I was thinking that to. Then if on the other hand this same person doesn't approve she tries to change the subject matter and or puts their own twist on it. Hey censorship has gone out with everything else that is useless...got it get it. If you want to unsub me well than go ahead cause I am not leaving I am staying and the lurking!!!! PS Want to know more..I went to the last Newton Wellsley support meeting and there was a newsletter of some sort and i was reading it. wouldn't you know that the editor was our very one Lyssa and the funniest part was that she put down under the tidbit section this Peer support groups web site address, what she didn't put was an "*" meaning as long as it is "OK" with me!!!!Just me 2 centsMike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Lyssa... WELL SAID MY GIRLY!!..:) *hugs*Wickedbob akaPAMopen RNY 6/26/00235/185/125Lahey Clinic Dr. Brams RE: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ Mmm Mike wow not sure where all that came from. You can question the need ofwhether or not someone needs surgery at a certain weight or not. To behonest I don't recall our conversation. Obviously you took it alot morepersonally than it should have been. First of all if you put out there youdon't see why someone at 250 lbs needs the surgery well I think its onlyreasonable to have people who were that weight or less that had surgery willspeak up. I myself for one. I met the criteria of morbid obesity, myinsurance felt the medical necessity was there and I had it done. Why aconversation about that would send you into lurkerdom is beyond me.Im' not sure what double standard you are talking about. As for changingsubject matter or putting a twist on it if you are talking about me I'dreally love you to write me privately and tell me what the heck you aretalking about. I've never censored anyone. Thank you very much. The is anunmoderated list and you can post as you see fit. The only thing I have everdone as a list owner is talk about editing posts for content length inreplies for those on digest. A standard protocol I might add.As for being the Editor of a Newsletter at NWH. Let me say I was approachedand asked to do it. What you see wrong with that I have no idea. As for oursupport group list being mentioned. Yes it was. Again Dr. Thayer and Dr.Reines ASKED me to list it on their newsletter. They support this list. Ialso put other support group and information down. As for the comment youwrote:" the funniest part was that she put down under the tidbit section this Peersupport groups web site address,what she didn't put was an "*" meaning aslong as it is "OK" with me!!!!"Well dear lurker person I have no clue what you are insinuating but I'msurprised at you the feedback that I've had on this list has gone againsteverything you have said. I know myself you do not. If you find it amusingthat I am an Editor for a newsletter for the hospital surgery team wellthats your own private joke I guess. If you feel you can do better why don'tyou try to contribute something other than issuing slanderous statements.Lyssa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2000 Report Share Posted September 22, 2000 Kathy... Just wanted to send you CONGRADS on your new B-day coming up.. will be thinking of you and send some positive thoughts your way.. heres to a speedy recovery..:) *hugs*Wickedbob akaPAMopen RNY 6/26/00235/185/125Lahey Clinic Dr. Brams Re: ROLL CALL PLEASE READ Ouch, Mike you sound very angry... Glad you expressed it finally, but did you consider privately emailing Lyssa to see if one or both of you had misunderstood what the other was trying to say?BTW, I am one of those 250-260 lb people and I'm having the surgery on Monday. I know there are others out there who question the necessity of surgery at my weight and I'm be more than happy to discuss it with you via private email so that you might have a better understanding. You may still feel the way you do after debating, and thats fine too. -Kathy09/25/00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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