Re: Hi I am depressed

[Guest guest]

Hey Ruthann....I started at 406 pounds on a 5'6 1/2 frame...although

I didn't lose it all from surgery, I am down to 289...and I still

have bouts of depression. It is hard to look at yourself, but the

waiting time, I think, is going to be good. From today until surgery

day, don't diet, but take it easier...use the bad foods as treats for

yourself, walk alittle, get yourself in the best shape for this

surgery. I didn't have that time, my start to surgery day was less

than 3 weeks, and although I knew what I wad doing, I wasn't prepared

for somethings. I was out of work for 1 month and I have a " sitdown

all day " job. Take this time and use it positively....wicked Pam

taught me to have a positive attitude and it works. Just think,

there are people out there that have been denied and can't get it

done at all....your one of the lucky ones...keep your chin

up....Michele

> Hi,

> I am feeling a little down, I caught a look at myself last night in

a store window and could not believe how fat I look, I am 5' 3 " and

weigh now 270 gained 2 pounds lately, it was so depressing, now I

wish I had not changed surgeons so I could have the surgery sooner, I

hate so much being so heavy and out of control with eating.

> well, nothing I can do but wait for the surgery, thanks for

listening.

>

>

>

>

>

> Have A Thin day

> Ruthann

[Guest guest]

(((((((((((((Ruthann))))))))))))))))

Try not to be discouraged or regretful about changing doctors. I had a

problem with insurance which caused what I figure to be about a 3 month delay

for my surgery. I was frustrated, angry, and forever fearful that after all

I went thru my new insurance wouldn't approve. In the midst of all that

emotion, I have been feeling fatter by the day, I've only gained about 10 lbs

in 8 months but it felt like 28 and looked like 58!!! I've long since given

up sacrificing personal comfort, at the expense of looking better when out in

public (and trust me, public appearances have been few and far between!).

But eventually, I got my date, insurance went through without a hitch and

here I am just 4 days away.

Don't be fooled by the feelings I've described above, Ruthann, I wouldn't

have changed a thing! The 3 month delay has provided me with an exorbitant

amount of information, its afforded me the time I needed to get to know some

of the people in my support group, some of whom I believe will now be life

long friends. Yes, I would have love to spend my summer loosing weight and

feeling better about myself, but you know, I have the rest of my life to do

that now, and I'll be achieving it with an invaluable education about WLS

Try to hang in there, and be gentle with yourself... try to use those store

window's to implant a permanent memory of how you look now, so when you have

one of those bad days after surgery, you'll always remember why you did this.

Best wishes to you!

Kathy

09/25/00

[Guest guest]

Hi Ruthann sweetie,

I can relate to what you're going through right now, and it is a very tough thing to feel down on yourself at times. I suffer from depression, have for the last few years. I thought having surgery would be a "cure all" for this, but I still have problems with this hitting me, and I have learned, it's not all weight related issues that bring me down. Trust me, it is a MAJOR factor/stressor, however, I have learned from talking to people that there are a lot of hidden things that while at my heaviest, I kept inside until now. Now that I've lost some weight, I am more assertive, aggressive at times, and sometimes, a plain outright bitch, yet confident. My esteem has skyrocketed, I don't feel so ashamed to be in a place with a zillion people any more, feeling like they're seeing me as one of the largest people in there. Now I think to myself, that "Hey, they may still be staring, however, they have no idea how much I've lost, and where I was a little over a year ago". I know I did this for ME, and NOBODY else, and now that I'm continuing to lose, I do feel like I will make it through difficult times.

Hang in there sweetie!

Dawn

-----Original Message-----From: Ruthann leBlanc Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2000 6:07 AMTo: OSSG-NewEnglandegroupsSubject: Hi I am depressed

Hi,

I am feeling a little down, I caught a look at myself last night in a store window and could not believe how fat I look, I am 5' 3" and weigh now 270 gained 2 pounds lately, it was so depressing, now I wish I had not changed surgeons so I could have the surgery sooner, I hate so much being so heavy and out of control with eating.

well, nothing I can do but wait for the surgery, thanks for listening.

Have A Thin dayRuthann

[Guest guest]

Thanks Kathy,

I am so thankful to all the people who gave me support, I will soon be on the other side and I know the doctor I chose is the right doctor. I feel better today, you guys are the best.

Have A Thin dayRuthann

Re: Hi I am depressed

-------------------------- eGroups Sponsor -------------------------~-~>"Discover the Only Method Ever Shown to Triple Maximum Life Span."Secrets Revealed in Your Free October Newsletter. Sign up now.>(((((((((((((Ruthann)))))))))))))))) '>http://click./1/9342/14/_/675032/_/969553236/-------------------------------------------------------------------->(((((((((((((Ruthann)))))))))))))))) Try not to be discouraged or regretful about changing doctors. I had a problem with insurance which caused what I figure to be about a 3 month delay for my surgery. I was frustrated, angry, and forever fearful that after all I went thru my new insurance wouldn't approve. In the midst of all that emotion, I have been feeling fatter by the day, I've only gained about 10 lbs in 8 months but it felt like 28 and looked like 58!!! I've long since given up sacrificing personal comfort, at the expense of looking better when out in public (and trust me, public appearances have been few and far between!). But eventually, I got my date, insurance went through without a hitch and here I am just 4 days away. Don't be fooled by the feelings I've described above, Ruthann, I wouldn't have changed a thing! The 3 month delay has provided me with an exorbitant amount of information, its afforded me the time I needed to get to know some of the people in my support group, some of whom I believe will now be life long friends. Yes, I would have love to spend my summer loosing weight and feeling better about myself, but you know, I have the rest of my life to do that now, and I'll be achieving it with an invaluable education about WLS Try to hang in there, and be gentle with yourself... try to use those store window's to implant a permanent memory of how you look now, so when you have one of those bad days after surgery, you'll always remember why you did this. Best wishes to you! Kathy09/25/00

[Guest guest]

Ruthann-Sorry you are having a bad day. The weight really does such a job on

our self-esteem! I would always dread getting pictures back from any event.

There's nothing worse than thinking you look OK and then seeing the picture

and you look like the side of a house. I'm sure you're getting impatient,

but the wait for the right time and the right surgeon will be so worth it.

Pretty soon the weight issue will be a thing of the past. I do think that my

struggles with weight have made me a compassionate, accepting person. I

don't judge people because I know how that feels. It sounds silly, but I

think I really am a kinder, gentler person than I would have been if I had

been one of the " beautiful people " . To me, the worth of a person is based on

the inside, not the superficial outside. Hang in there Ruthann, your time

will come honey!

Hugs,

Steph

[Guest guest]

Ruthann,

I know its hard waiting for your surgery day... But soon your new birthday will be here and your journey into a smaller body and healthy life will be here... sending you some positive thoughts..

*hugs*Wickedbob akaPAMopen RNY 6/26/00235/185/125Lahey Clinic Dr. Brams

Hi I am depressed

Hi,

I am feeling a little down, I caught a look at myself last night in a store window and could not believe how fat I look, I am 5' 3" and weigh now 270 gained 2 pounds lately, it was so depressing, now I wish I had not changed surgeons so I could have the surgery sooner, I hate so much being so heavy and out of control with eating.

well, nothing I can do but wait for the surgery, thanks for listening.

Have A Thin dayRuthann

[Guest guest]

DEAR RUTHANN

WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I DO NOT KNOW WHO THAT PERSON LOOKING BACK IS. I

KNOW IT ISN'T ME. BUT DON'T BE SAD BECAUSE WE ARE ALL CHANGING THAT. WE ARE

ALL IN A YEAR A DAY AT A TIME (I WAS IN O.A.)

OVEREATERS ANNONYAMOUS FOR 15 YEARS. GOING TO CHANGE THAT AND WE WILL ALL BE

THIN.

WE WILL BE SCREAMING TO EVERYONE LOOK AT US WE ARE THIN THIN THIN.DON'T

BE DEPRESSED BE HAPPY. LOOK AT THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT WE ARE MEETING.

SMILE

ANSWER ME AT RUBIERAY@... IF YOU WANT TO RAYNA

[Guest guest]

Steph,

Well written, but you ARE one of the beautiful people by just saying how

NOBODY should be judged from the appearance, no matter if overweight,

underweight, disabled, etc!!!

Dawn

Re: Hi I am depressed

Ruthann-Sorry you are having a bad day. The weight really does such a job

on

our self-esteem! I would always dread getting pictures back from any event.

There's nothing worse than thinking you look OK and then seeing the picture

and you look like the side of a house. I'm sure you're getting impatient,

but the wait for the right time and the right surgeon will be so worth it.

Pretty soon the weight issue will be a thing of the past. I do think that

my

struggles with weight have made me a compassionate, accepting person. I

don't judge people because I know how that feels. It sounds silly, but I

think I really am a kinder, gentler person than I would have been if I had

been one of the " beautiful people " . To me, the worth of a person is based

on

the inside, not the superficial outside. Hang in there Ruthann, your time

will come honey!

Hugs,

Steph