My mom

September 27, 2003

Hi Jeanette:

I know your mom's decision is not easy for you to deal with but

please remember, the decision of what to do if our loved ones are

capable of making this decision is theirs and theirs alone to make.

Yes, we can try to perhaps change their minds, but that's all we can

do. Ultimately, we all must accept their final decision and go along

with it. If your mom is at peace with her choice, which I assume she

is, my only advice is be as supportive (and I know this can be

difficult) as you can of that choice, respect it, and enjoy each and

every day God grants you with her. Take care and my thoughts and

prayers are with you.

Monika

> Thank you to everyone who has helped with information, advice and

> prayers. My mother has decided to do nothing about her cancer. And

I

> mean nothing. I have talked to her, yelled at her, guilt tripped

her,

> but to no avail. She has made up her mind, so I am going along

with

> it and trying to accept her decision. It is very hard to see

someone

> just die without any effort to do anything. This is just not me. I

> tried to get her to talk to the Assessment Coordinator at the

> hospital, but she won't. I am going to call on the Hospice people

> and see if they will send someone out to at least go over what will

> happen from here.

>

> I have no idea how much time she has left since the only test she

has

> had is the CT scan. We know she has a tumor in the far end of the

> colon where it connects to the small intestine, and there are

> numerous tumors in her liver. Beyond that, we don't know. She won't

> even have the tests to see where else it may have spread.

>

> You are all so brave, and so committed to fighting, I am awed by

your

> spirit. May God bless you all and may you find peace in dealing

with

> this horrible illness.

>

> I will try to keep you posted on my mom.

>

> Jeanette

October 12, 2003

Hi, group. I am back. My mom just had surgery to re-route her colon

around the tumor which was causing a blockage. We didn't know this

was happening, but luckily she was in the hospital when it happened.

I took her to the hospital last Monday as she hadn't been eating or

drinking and was getting dehydrated. While in the hospital, she

developed severe pain in her lower abdomen and they did a CT scan and

found that she had a major blockage in the colon. One section of

colon was distended like a balloon and the colon had begun to leak.

The surgeon was able to resect the colon, however, we were shocked to

learn that he could not remove the tumor when he went in as it was

too large and too imbedded. The tumor has grown almost twice its

size in just a little over a month. He also looked at her liver, and

told us what we pretty much knew already, that it was full of tumors.

My mom had decided not to undertake any treatment of her cancer, but

now that she has gone through some of the tough times, she has

changed her mind. I just wonder if it is too late. I need to talk to

her onc and see what he says, although, I wonder because he left us

the durable power of attorney and living will forms to fill out at

the hospital today. Is this normal? Or do they do this when they know

the use of it would be imminent? I don't know what can be done from

here. She is so far along with the cancer. I hate this, we just

found out she has it Labor Day weekend, and it is going so fast.

Thanks for listening.

Jeanette

October 13, 2003

Hello, I'm Nick and I want to tell you ,almost 18 months ago I was told I

might

live as much as eight months and as little as three. I could not have

surgery,

they started agressive chemo and Veg F and for 13 months things got better.

Then it started all over again. I just started a new regimine and yes I am a

little

nervous and scared. But I really want to live,my onc. said we cannot cure you

but we may be able to control it. I have nevr had radiation. I am 72,

male,married

and have a great wife and family and lots of support. I know no one can say I

will

live ten years or ten months. I will fight while I can,re the living will. I

do not want to

be on tubes,fed with an IV and unable to get up or be lucid. Yes I signed

one,my wife

is my primary healthcare surrogate and if a real hard decision has to be

made,she will

involve the family's help but she knows my wishes. Best of luck,I have only

one other

things to say,prayer and a belief in a higher power help,if they are a part

of your life.

Stay well, your mom will need you for her sake so share her care and if it is

a

termianl situation seek Hospice..they work woders,hard as it is to deal with.

Nick

May 1, 2008

Oh Trista this is so hard to say the right things, you were so blessed to have that special time with your mom. Seeing her mom and God must of been pure bliss for her. I am still praying for peace and serinity for your family and now we all know that she is looking down on you with such pride, you are a very strong person and very brave!!!! All my best wishes for you and your family in this time of symapathy. Love always, "tabeloe37@..." wrote: As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there. Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me) On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die

during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4 seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure. A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying

"Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome.

The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing. I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home. She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven. My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations. So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all. We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on. Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much. Blessings, Trista Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008

Oh Trista this is so hard to say the right things, you were so blessed to have that special time with your mom. Seeing her mom and God must of been pure bliss for her. I am still praying for peace and serinity for your family and now we all know that she is looking down on you with such pride, you are a very strong person and very brave!!!! All my best wishes for you and your family in this time of symapathy. Love always, "tabeloe37@..." wrote: As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there. Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me) On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die

during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4 seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure. A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying

"Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome.

The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing. I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home. She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven. My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations. So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all. We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on. Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much. Blessings, Trista Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008

Oh Trista this is so hard to say the right things, you were so blessed to have that special time with your mom. Seeing her mom and God must of been pure bliss for her. I am still praying for peace and serinity for your family and now we all know that she is looking down on you with such pride, you are a very strong person and very brave!!!! All my best wishes for you and your family in this time of symapathy. Love always, "tabeloe37@..." wrote: As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there. Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me) On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die

during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4 seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure. A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying

"Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome.

The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing. I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home. She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven. My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations. So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all. We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on. Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much. Blessings, Trista Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008

Oh honey! I am so sorry you had to go through all this. There does seem to be a silver lining, well, several. For one, your boys. For another, your spirituality seems to have kept you intact through all of this. You KNOW you have us, all of us. You seem at peace with your Mothers passing. It is also awesome that she was able to reconnect with your aunt. 6 years is a long time. I know, it has been that long since I spoke with, or saw, my mother. My situation is different, though, I doubt we will ever speak again. She saw to that, by her actions. But your mother and your aunt were able to reconnect, and that is awesome. I must say I have missed you. I have prayed for you, and your family, and continue to do so, but I have to say...welcome back! Love~~~ Akiba -- My mom As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there. Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me) On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4 seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure. A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying "Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome. The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing. I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home. She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven. My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations. So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all. We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on. Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much. Blessings, Trista Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008

Oh honey! I am so sorry you had to go through all this. There does seem to be a silver lining, well, several. For one, your boys. For another, your spirituality seems to have kept you intact through all of this. You KNOW you have us, all of us. You seem at peace with your Mothers passing. It is also awesome that she was able to reconnect with your aunt. 6 years is a long time. I know, it has been that long since I spoke with, or saw, my mother. My situation is different, though, I doubt we will ever speak again. She saw to that, by her actions. But your mother and your aunt were able to reconnect, and that is awesome. I must say I have missed you. I have prayed for you, and your family, and continue to do so, but I have to say...welcome back! Love~~~ Akiba -- My mom As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there. Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me) On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4 seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure. A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying "Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome. The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing. I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home. She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven. My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations. So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all. We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on. Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much. Blessings, Trista Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008

Oh honey! I am so sorry you had to go through all this. There does seem to be a silver lining, well, several. For one, your boys. For another, your spirituality seems to have kept you intact through all of this. You KNOW you have us, all of us. You seem at peace with your Mothers passing. It is also awesome that she was able to reconnect with your aunt. 6 years is a long time. I know, it has been that long since I spoke with, or saw, my mother. My situation is different, though, I doubt we will ever speak again. She saw to that, by her actions. But your mother and your aunt were able to reconnect, and that is awesome. I must say I have missed you. I have prayed for you, and your family, and continue to do so, but I have to say...welcome back! Love~~~ Akiba -- My mom As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there. Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me) On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4 seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure. A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying "Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome. The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing. I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home. She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven. My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations. So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all. We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on. Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much. Blessings, Trista Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008

What Akiba said, and "More, More, More" love to

all of you, Trista, who are close to you,

n

My mom

As you all know, my mom has been in the hospital. She was only expected to live 2-3 days, and yesterday marked her 37th day there.

Last night (Tuesday 4/29) she went to be with her Lord at 8:40 pm. The entire 37 day period was an incredible experience. God has taught me so much, and I have seen so many blessings. I have seen first hand, the love and compassion of the people all around me. We were blessed EVERY day and night with the BEST nurses we've ever seen. They blessed us, and we have blessed them through this experience. (many shared this with me)

On April 19th 2 doctors were planning on doing a biopsy on my mom, to make sure that the liver blockage was really cancer. I found out that they would be doing it in her ICU room. I also found out that she was completely expected to die during this procedures. They are normally done in the OR, but the Dr. was doing it in her room, because he was sure she'd die. I did not know this, when I gave my consent for this to be done. A wonderful Dr. saw me and came in to check on my mom. He was very upset when he found out that the other doctors were doing this biopsy, AFTER he had already told them that it couldn't be done without 1) killing her, and 2) without opening her up. With the info he shared with me, I decided to cancel the biopsy. That day, since she was not getting any better, I decided to have her extubated, and to stop dialysis. On 4/21, my mom had 3 or 4

seizures. It was so horrible. I was there for the last and longest one. 3 minutes is a very long time, when you are watching your mom have a seizure.

A wonderful thing happened 4/22. My mom was calling out, saying "Mom! Mama!" and "My God, my God". I asked her if she was seeing my gma, and the Lord, and she said, "yes" in amazement. That night after I left, she also spoke to my aunt. They had been estranged from each other for almost 6 years. They made up, and my aunt was able to spend the last couple of weeks of my mom's life with her. The next day on 4/23, not 1, but 2 doctors called me. They were both very shocked to find my mother awake and talking to them. I didn't realize that she was awake, I just thought that she was saying some things in her semi-coma state. She told the doctors that they were starving her, and she wanted to eat! LOL. So, a pureed diet was ordered and she began eating that day at lunch. She told us that she had seen gma, but it wasn't time to go yet. She was

able to visit with so many people that day. She ate and visited and prayed. It was awesome.

The next day, she was in a coma like state again. She went in and out for the next 4-5 days. Sometimes she'd eat 100% of her meal, and other times, she ate nothing.

I did get to get her some yogurt and my aunts bought her ice creams, and she really enjoyed them. On 4/28 she stopped eating completely and was hard to rouse. I went home at 9 pm, leaving my aunt to stay the night with her. At 10 pm, she called saying the nurses said I should come. Her BP was 60/30. My aunt , aunt Alice, and myself, stayed the night. We slept in chairs, on the floor, and took turns on the fold out chair. By the next morning she had a fever of 103*. Her breathing was shallow and fast. We all decided that we would be staying with her until the Lord called her home.

She continued breathing fast and shallow, then suddenly her breathing slowed from 45 per minute to 20 per minute. 4 minutes later, she passed quietly from this world to the next, with us holding her hands and whispering in her ear. I have no doubts that she is now having "orientation" to Heaven.

My mom wanted cremation, so we feel no rush to have a service. I will be organizing a celebration of life, and will be putting the where's and when's in her obituary, when it's time. I will also be sending some invitations.

So many of you have emailed, saying you were praying for us. Thank you all! Your support, prayers and comforting words have touched us so, and we appreciate you all.

We have more news. Last Friday (4/25) Steve was finally named dad to our older 2 boys. We had a hearing, and we all (even the boys) got to sign the adoption orders. We are all so happy about this. My mom was able to hear me tell her Friday that it was final. She was happy. She has been waiting for this, as much as we have. I hope to be able to catch up with you all soon. Right now, I am just trying to "live life". For the last 38 days, my family has been without me, since I was constantly at the hospital. I have a ton of laundry to do, and need to catch up on my rest. I feel a flare up coming on.

Thank you all again! You have all blessed us so much.

Blessings, Trista

Christians who stand strong are like flowers; the more you crush them, the stronger the fragrance.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

May 1, 2008