Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 ok I did it twice though so if the first link doesn't work that's why. I wrote typical school year because I want to know about the average not the summer. I know most of us don't get ANY during the summer anyway. Thanks. G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 turns three next month so I'm writing her IEP, although I'm sure she would rather do it herself LOL. I just want to have everything I want written up so that I have some ideas before I meet with her " team. " In PA they have parent advocates that you can meet with to help you write up the goals you want (even though I'm sure that's not what I'll end up with). The social worker at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philly) said that the Intermediate Unit (that's 3-5 here in PA) is currently paying for lots of kids to get ABA services. She said that the Intervention (that's under 3) has also been paying for kids to get services from private agencies. As soon as I was told there wasn't anyone trained I just gave up. I've been thinking like a parent and not an advocate. It didn't hit me until today how bad things really are. I though wow she's talking isn't that great! It is - but then I compared her school evaluation to the one Children's did almost a year ago... She was 26 months old: Now 35 months old: Cognitive language 18-24 months 24 months Communication 10-12 months Language 20-24 scatters to 28 Social and Emotional 9 months delays and atypical behaviors noted Gross Motor 20-22 months 22-24 months Fine Motor 13 - 16 months 15 - 18 months scattered When I look at it this way instead of " hey she's talking " she's barely made any progress at all. I feel like I'm failing her. G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 , I don't know about PA but in CA, no child is covered by the school district until age 3. I would imagine that under IDEA, it's the same there as well as here. The schools just don't take any responsibility until age 3. Until then, it all falls under EI, which falls under Regional Centers here in CA. That said, there ARE some cases around here where the parents have succeeded in getting the Reg Centers to pay for ABA programs, school or in-home, but even so, it's rare. I have only heard of 3 families throughout all of these years. And this is in an area that is quite well-known for outstanding programs..... Why are you writing your own IEP? Speaking of which, gotta go to school to sign those IEPs............. I almost forgot while sitting here! Grace therapy > Is there any way we could do a poll of how many hours services our kids get > during a typical school year? Then maybe how old the child was? > > I have only been getting 6 hours and early intervention told me that there > wasn't any way that we could do ABA because no one was trained. I just > talked with someone from CHOP and she said that lots of the kids are getting > it paid for by the schools (not medicad). I'm so totally pissed. > > I am starting to write my IEP for for school tomorrow. Any help would > be great. > Thanks wendy g > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 , Is there a local chapter of the Autism Society anywhere near you? I think you might benefit from networking with other local parents who will share their experiences with your school system. I know my eyes were really opened when I finally got around to networking with other parents. -BJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 , go to www.groups.yahoo.com/group/parenting_autism and choose 'polls' from the left-hand menu. From there, you can create the poll you want. It's really easy and self-explanatory! (be sure to check the box that notifies the list that you created a new poll, or we won't know) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 BJ the only one is in Philly and since they got sued their system is ALOT different. I am meeting some other mothers slowly but surely but it's a very slow process. I'm in a hurry! G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 If you mean from the school system, Putter, at three, got fifteen hours a week; at four, he got thirty hours a week. We added other therapies ourselves but they were private therapies. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 We had in inhome ABA program for Alec when he was 2 yrs that was paid for the the RC. Of course I am a total pain in the butt about getting services for me kids;) Jacquie H > , > I don't know about PA but in CA, no child is covered by the school district > until age 3. I would imagine that under IDEA, it's the same there as well > as here. The schools just don't take any responsibility until age 3. > Until then, it all falls under EI, which falls under Regional Centers here > in CA. > > That said, there ARE some cases around here where the parents have succeeded > in getting the Reg Centers to pay for ABA programs, school or in- home, but > even so, it's rare. I have only heard of 3 families throughout all of these > years. And this is in an area that is quite well-known for outstanding > programs..... > > Why are you writing your own IEP? > Speaking of which, gotta go to school to sign those IEPs............. I > almost forgot while sitting here! > > Grace > > > therapy > > > > Is there any way we could do a poll of how many hours services our kids > get > > during a typical school year? Then maybe how old the child was? > > > > I have only been getting 6 hours and early intervention told me that there > > wasn't any way that we could do ABA because no one was trained. I just > > talked with someone from CHOP and she said that lots of the kids are > getting > > it paid for by the schools (not medicad). I'm so totally pissed. > > > > I am starting to write my IEP for for school tomorrow. Any help > would > > be great. > > Thanks wendy g > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 How old is your daughter? Record the meeting of your IEP Get the statistics of the success rate of ABA in Autistic kids If the school district does not have someone trained, they need to contract with an agency that can provide ABA- but you need to prove that your child will benefit from it. In the back of Cutherine Maurices book, she stated the research from the UCLA young autism project, it is consise and you could use those stats. Good luck in proving she needs it, it is always a fight with the school districts. --- myfishruleWJG@... wrote: > Is there any way we could do a poll of how many > hours services our kids get > during a typical school year? Then maybe how old > the child was? > > I have only been getting 6 hours and early > intervention told me that there > wasn't any way that we could do ABA because no one > was trained. I just > talked with someone from CHOP and she said that lots > of the kids are getting > it paid for by the schools (not medicad). I'm so > totally pissed. > > I am starting to write my IEP for for school > tomorrow. Any help would > be great. > Thanks wendy g > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ===== Bell __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 First of all you are not failing her! That just isnt the case. It may feel like it at times but it isnt true. I felt like that beforee but I really havent in a long time. Now mind you that Greggory is 6.5 yrs and has been dx'd for 4 yrs now and Alec is 4.5 yrs and has been dx'd for 3 yrs. I have alot under my belt when it comes to seeing how some kids progress rapidly(Greggory) and you feel great and others(Alec) do everything in their own sweet time. It has more to do with them than it does to do with you. You are doing great and while there is almost always someone out there doing more and some kids learning faster that doesnt make what you are doing not the best thing for your child. In fact I decided that we were doing too much about the boys autism(that is just us. you do what is comfortable for you guys). Just wanted to remind you that you are doing great! Jacquie H > turns three next month so I'm writing her IEP, although I'm sure she > would rather do it herself LOL. I just want to have everything I want > written up so that I have some ideas before I meet with her " team. " In PA > they have parent advocates that you can meet with to help you write up the > goals you want (even though I'm sure that's not what I'll end up with). > > The social worker at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philly) said that the > Intermediate Unit (that's 3-5 here in PA) is currently paying for lots of > kids to get ABA services. She said that the Intervention (that's under 3) > has also been paying for kids to get services from private agencies. > > As soon as I was told there wasn't anyone trained I just gave up. I've been > thinking like a parent and not an advocate. It didn't hit me until today how > bad things really are. I though wow she's talking isn't that great! It is - > but then I compared her school evaluation to the one Children's did almost a > year ago... > > She was 26 months old: Now 35 months old: > > Cognitive language 18-24 months 24 months > Communication 10-12 months Language 20-24 scatters to > 28 > Social and Emotional 9 months delays and atypical > behaviors noted > Gross Motor 20-22 months 22-24 months > Fine Motor 13 - 16 months 15 - 18 months scattered > > > When I look at it this way instead of " hey she's talking " she's barely made > any progress at all. > > I feel like I'm failing her. > G > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2002 Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 , you are not failing her! First of all, you're only measuring over a nine-month period. That's not very long, and the progress she has made during that time is great! Her language has increased twofold -- that, in itself, is amazing...and it will help push up that social and emotional rating as time goes by. Don't be too discouraged by the slow progress in fine motor. That's a VERY tough area. She gets tons of natural environment support when it comes to language, but fine motor actually needs to be sat down and targeted to be worked on, so of course it's slower going! You are doing all that you can for this little girl. You are giving 110% eevery day. Don't beat yourself up because you can't work a miracle in nine months. None of us can. You and are moving forward. You are not doing too little and neither is she -- just keep going forward, babe. And try not to beat yourself up with " shoulds " -- you are doing everything you need to be doing, and the best way you know how. NOBODY expects anything else of you. (((hugs))) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Joy, I'm not sure where you live or if you have insurance, but depending on the plan, some plans will cover at least 1/2 the cost. You can also check out your community mental health programs. They may have counselors who work with a sliding pay scale. They may only charge what you can pay. Counselors/therapists are pretty much the same. PhD versus Masters in Social Work with specialized psychotherapy training is usually the difference. Some are better than others. You often have to shop around to find a good one. Abby > > Hello, > > I am curious if anyone is seeing a therapist to help them recover from their bpd parent(s)? > > I am going to ACOA which helps, but most people additionally go to a therapist. I was asked if I go to a therapist and I said no. > > I would like to, but I don't think I can afford going to one. I've heard some are $100/hr - $200/hr at the most! > > Would there be someway of getting around this or are there suggestions for getting needs that could be met by a therapist met elsewhere like an affordable counselor? ( I don't know if counseling is as affective as therapy) > > Joy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi Joanna, Yes...my nada kept us from our dad's side of the family completely. I missed out, too. I don't like spending time with my nada's family only because everything revolves around nada, and I receive very little in the way of support. It always seems to be a question of what I can do for them. I liked someone's comment earlier about opening a themepark for all us KO's. lol. -Joy > > > > I had a therapy appointment today and the meeting went fine but > when I got in the car I realized I was a bit dazed. > > In talking to my therapist I told her I didn't really want to > reconnect with my grandparents because all my grandmother did was > tell me how horrible a person my mother was. That was our > relationship. She'd tell me all the bad stuff - it was like a gossip > session with her. > > " well no wonder your mother is BPD. " > > She also asked me if I had any concrete proof that my father " ran > away to canada " when I was 2 since my mother doesn't know the truth > from reality. No, I have nothing other than my mother's stories. > How do I know any of the bad stuff about dad was true? She kept me > from him for years. I still don't talk to him. (They got back > together when I was 2 and didn't divorce until I was 14.) > > My therapist also asked if I wanted to contact my Aunt, since she's > the only one I really regret losing contact with. She stopped > talking to me because mom would berate her about her conversations > with me. My aunt now doesn't talk to nada either. I told her I > didn't know... she has her own life now. Her own family. I don't > blame her for protecting herself. > > I've been cleaning like a fiend for the last few days... I don't > know why except I'm used to having classes during the semester and > now I'm just working instead of working & going to school. I clean > sweeped my bedroom. We're still doing laundry. > > But really? I just feel like puking. My mother kept me from my > family. I never knew my dad's family. She even kept HIM from them. > THAT is so f'd up. > > /rant over > > Amy > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi Shanon, Thank you for the feedback. I noticed you wrote SWOE...what is this? -Joy > > > > Hello, > > > > I am curious if anyone is seeing a therapist to help them recover from their bpd parent(s)? > > > > I am going to ACOA which helps, but most people additionally go to a therapist. I was asked if I go to a therapist and I said no. > > > > I would like to, but I don't think I can afford going to one. I've heard some are $100/hr - $200/hr at the most! > > > > Would there be someway of getting around this or are there suggestions for getting needs that could be met by a therapist met elsewhere like an affordable counselor? ( I don't know if counseling is as affective as therapy) > > > > Joy > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi Amy, I know that feeling. I came to that realization earlier this year and I was in shock. After thinking about it for 3 months, I often wonder about finding his location and contacting him (my dad) again out of curiosity. I don't know how to go about doing this; and I have a feeling my sisters (who live with my nada and are younger) could possibly not speak to me again. I risk losing everyone on nada's side. It is a tough decision. But I think eventually, I am going to have to do it. Maybe in a few years or so. I've been NC for only one month, and though stronger; I'm still emotionally fragile. -Joy > > ALIENATION! > >  > Take Care Of You, > JaneSoul > > > > Therapy > > > I had a therapy appointment today and the meeting went fine but when I got in the car I realized I was a bit dazed. > In talking to my therapist I told her I didn't really want to reconnect with my grandparents because all my grandmother did was tell me how horrible a person my mother was. That was our relationship. She'd tell me all the bad stuff - it was like a gossip session with her. > " well no wonder your mother is BPD. " > She also asked me if I had any concrete proof that my father " ran away to canada " when I was 2 since my mother doesn't know the truth from reality. No, I have nothing other than my mother's stories. How do I know any of the bad stuff about dad was true? She kept me from him for years. I still don't talk to him. (They got back together when I was 2 and didn't divorce until I was 14.) > My therapist also asked if I wanted to contact my Aunt, since she's the only one I really regret losing contact with. She stopped talking to me because mom would berate her about her conversations with me. My aunt now doesn't talk to nada either. I told her I didn't know... she has her own life now. Her own family. I don't blame her for protecting herself. > I've been cleaning like a fiend for the last few days... I don't know why except I'm used to having classes during the semester and now I'm just working instead of working & going to school. I clean sweeped my bedroom. We're still doing laundry. > But really? I just feel like puking. My mother kept me from my family. I never knew my dad's family. She even kept HIM from them. THAT is so f'd up. > /rant over > Amy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi Amy, I think People Finder is pretty good. You enter their full name, and listings come up. If you pay I think around $10, their full listing comes up (street address & phone number). It is at my finger tips...I could do it, I'm just afraid to. -Joy > > > > I had a therapy appointment today and the meeting went fine but > when I got in the car I realized I was a bit dazed. > > In talking to my therapist I told her I didn't really want to > reconnect with my grandparents because all my grandmother did was > tell me how horrible a person my mother was. That was our > relationship. She'd tell me all the bad stuff - it was like a gossip > session with her. > > " well no wonder your mother is BPD. " > > She also asked me if I had any concrete proof that my father " ran > away to canada " when I was 2 since my mother doesn't know the truth > from reality. No, I have nothing other than my mother's stories. > How do I know any of the bad stuff about dad was true? She kept me > from him for years. I still don't talk to him. (They got back > together when I was 2 and didn't divorce until I was 14.) > > My therapist also asked if I wanted to contact my Aunt, since she's > the only one I really regret losing contact with. She stopped > talking to me because mom would berate her about her conversations > with me. My aunt now doesn't talk to nada either. I told her I > didn't know... she has her own life now. Her own family. I don't > blame her for protecting herself. > > I've been cleaning like a fiend for the last few days... I don't > know why except I'm used to having classes during the semester and > now I'm just working instead of working & going to school. I clean > sweeped my bedroom. We're still doing laundry. > > But really? I just feel like puking. My mother kept me from my > family. I never knew my dad's family. She even kept HIM from them. > THAT is so f'd up. > > /rant over > > Amy > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Thank you, Ashana! -Joy > > Hi Joy, >  > I feel I cannot afford not to see a therapist. >  > Some therapists will offer a sliding scales. I don't know where you live, but there are also centers that will offer low-cost services--sometimes to everyone, and sometimes to their target clientele. I once saw a therapist for $2 a week through a volunteer service for women survivors of sexual assault and violence (since that is also part of my history). An ex-gf of mine saw a therapist for $6 a week through a low-cost mental health care center. It is worth checking around and finding out what is out there. >  > Ashana > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > From Chandigarh to Chennai - find friends all over India. Go to http://in.promos.yahoo.com/groups/citygroups/ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Oh, ok. Thanks! Joy > > > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > > > I am curious if anyone is seeing a therapist to help them recover from their bpd parent(s)? > > > > > > > > I am going to ACOA which helps, but most people additionally go to a therapist. I was asked if I go to a therapist and I said no. > > > > > > > > I would like to, but I don't think I can afford going to one. I've heard some are $100/hr - $200/hr at the most! > > > > > > > > Would there be someway of getting around this or are there suggestions for getting needs that could be met by a therapist met elsewhere like an affordable counselor? ( I don't know if counseling is as affective as therapy) > > > > > > > > Joy > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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