- Re: andrew

[Guest guest]

> How do I get my doctor to listen to me? do I wait or do I push and push?

> I have always just done what the doctors have said but this time I feel

> like I need to do more. HELP i will so helpless.

Dear ,

I had to respond to your message to tell you that you are definitely NOT

helpless. Joining this group and asking the questions that you have shows

me just how much you want to do all that you can for your son's health. I

want to encourage to keep doing everything that you are doing.

A while ago I read Dr. Weil's _Spontaneous Healing_ book and in

it, he lists the " 7 strategies of successful patients " (-- a rift on the 7

strategies of highly effective people, I imagine). I would like to share a

little bit with you so that perhaps you might reread it whenever doctors

don't return your emails or answer questions. He writes that patients

promote their own " healing " (which means different things to do different

people - sometimes more of a state of mind than a physical state of being

" cured " ) by:

1. Not taking " No " for answer...never believing that there was no hope,

nothing to be done, no possibility of getting better. There is help and

hope to be found somewhere.

2. Actively searching for help...by asking questions, reading, going to

libraries, getting second opinions, etc. He writes: " Such behavior

leads some doctors to label these patients difficult, non compliant or

simply obnoxious, but ... nice [patients] finish last.

3. Actively searching for hope ... by seeking out those who have been

through the same and who are " healing "

4. Forming constructive partnerships with health professionals... " what

you want is a professional who believes in you and your ability to heal

yourself, someone who empowers you in your search, and makes you feel like

you are not alone. Good doctors are...[those who] will take the highest

pleasure in seeing you heal.

5. Being willing to make radical changes in their lives.

6. Regarding illness as a gift... just as every moment is a gift and not

an unfair punishment. [i think this is the toughest one -- you sometimes

see it by other names, like having a " positive attitude " or, if you are a

spiritual/religious person, " letting go and letting God. " ]

7. [and related to point 6] By cultivating self-acceptance.

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From my perspective, you shouldn't have to " push and push " to get a simple

answer from a doctor. It is possible that you haven't found the right

doctor yet. Keep searching! And keep asking questions!

Take care,

Shauna (29, AIH'86, Crohns'95, PSC'99, listed @ Duke, MELD =18)

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