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Re: Sue Anti/Pro

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Hi Rose

You've described my bf pretty well here, at least in his 3rd year (he's

served 5 years as of now). He also eschews anything he deems

" pornographic " . I called him The Monk for a while, and hummed my favorite

showtune " there's nothin' so bad for a woman as a man who thinks he's good " .

He's loosened up a bit since then. His choice of me as a mate is proof

enough of that!

:)

PS I agree that " rectally prolific " is inspired writing.

>

> >

>This brought to mind a few of times I experienced AAers who were

>*perfect*.

>

>You know the ones- They feel totally in touch with HP because they've

>worked all the steps, quit smoking, swearing, have a few years of

>alcohol abstinence under their belts and are feeling real

>*spiritual*-and a little lost-so now what? It was a pretty delusional

>frame of mind, but one I remember this happening to several persons,

>including myself.

______________________________________________________

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, did you happen to see Devine in 'Pink Flamingos'? That had to

be the sickest movie I ever saw, but I think that's what Waters

intended! Especially the dog poop scene!

jan

" wendy rose " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=13869

> I haven't see Summer of Sam. I have, however, had major issues with

> eating and sex. And I think Leguizamo is a scream in that movie

> with Swayze...something about Newmar...They're all

> transvestites! That kind of thing used to incense my ex. I loved

> Divine in Hairspray, La Cage Au Folles and the remake The Birdcage.

> That was what was so wierd about my ex. He MUST have identified at

> some level, but would NEVER admit what he was. He would not watch

> those movies and if they came on TV and I wanted to watch or rent, he

> threw a fit, saying it was disgusting. Go figure.

>

> I was anorexic and have dealt with that. I met my match sexually and

> could not be more *ahem* satisfied! I have gone from a 4 to a 6 and

> sometimes an 8. I have a well rounded figure now and am easy on myself

> and try to hang onto that thought. I have also developed the

philosphy

> that if I spend my entire life staying away from the food I like, how

> do I enjoy my life? I will have deprived myself all my life? For

> what? I quit smoking 4+ years ago have dealt with some serious core

> issues and feel good about myself the way I am. Of course there's

> always room for improvement-so I'm in therapy.

>

> I used to mountain bike myself and plan to get back into it this

> summer. Like I said in previous posts, our family has been dealing

> with the loss of a child-Charlie's beautiful 21 year old son for the

> past almost year and after April 11th passes, it will be time to move

> on and regain the momentum. We had decided to take it real easy on

> ourselves for a year after Nick passed. I will start exercising

> regularly because it makes me feel good in general. I'm probably

older

> than you-I'm a grama, and with age has come more acceptance of myself;

> bags, wrinkles, etc.

>

> What you said about your SO projecting on you was the same with me and

> my ex. He was very wiry and athletic. I panicked when I gained a few

> pounds because I was always afraid of getting bigger than him and that

> I would be unattractive to him, but there were times that I would

stuff

> my face because I was so unhappy. I knew he was using drugs 9 out of

> the 13 years we were married and trying to keep up with the facade

cost

> me in some ways-not just financially. I had a drawer full of lingerie

> and nothing enticed him.

>

> With Charlie, I have a drawer full of jewelry (one size fits all!) and

> a good relationship in all ways. It has taken a lot of work and

> continues to-but this time it's happy work!

>

> I wish you the same!

>

>

>

> " elizabeth b. " wrote:

> original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=138

67

> > Wow. What a creep. Did you see Summer of Sam? Leguizamo plays

> a slimy

> > character with major sex issues (only " dirty " sex with someone other

> than

> > his poor bored wife).

> >

> > I feel much better about my situation now, I have to say. At least

> my bf is

> > consistent in his sexual attitudes.

> >

> > I feel sometimes that I've made a trade-off. My previous long-term

> > relationship was characterized by great sex and zero intimacy, with

> lots of

> > neglect and passive aggressive behavior. This relationship is with

> someone

> > who is unfailingly thrilled to see me when I walk in the door, who

> always

> > has a hug for me, who always chooses time with me over anything else

> (except

> > mountain biking, but that keeps him sane!), who is a joy to live

> with, but

> > is less interested sexually.

> >

> > Of course, it's complicated by the fact that after we started dating

> I

> > gained a few pounds (I went from size 2 to 4, don't ask!) and he had

> issues

> > with that. His exwife had anorexia and he prefers me very lean and

> > athletic. We've worked on that one, trust me.

> >

> > More troubling at this point is the fact that because of my bulimic

> history,

> > he projects illness onto me and makes a connection between my

sexual

> > appetite and my compulsive eating deal (eeeeeeuuuuw).

> >

> > I told him that I'm proud that I can be healthy about sex (never

felt

> any

> > guilt about it, always been enthused about it, but never reactionary

> to the

> > point where I was promiscuous or put myself in danger).

> >

> > Besides, it wasn't really me who invented the food/sex connection.

> >

> >

> >

> > ______________________________________________________

>

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