Re: It's Hard To Care !!

May 22, 2004

> I'm finding it so hard to care about my moms diabetes

> when she clearly does not have any care about it what so ever. I

wish

> I could just say its her life and leave it at that but I dont

wanna

> have to explain to my 10 yr old son when she dies why she isnt

around

> anymore. Her sugar level has been well into the 300-400 for a few

> months at least. I lost my father at an early age of 50 from lung

> cancer and I just dont like to sit and watch her not give a care

> about her health. So for now I guess I will worry about my son and

> myself and just hope one day before its to late she will realise

just

> how serious diabetes is. I wanna thank everyone who has wrote to

me I

> did print it out and shared it with the rest of my family and I

also

> made my mom read the responces as well.

> and Josh(my 10 yr old son)

--------------------------->

There is an excellent book on codependence---The Road Less Traveled

by M. Peck---you might gain some insight from reading that.

There is an accompany study guide.

Whether you are dealing with alcoholism or chronic illness---the

principles are the same---the 12 step program of Al Anon is another

resource.

I know it is 'Different'---the more abstract way of loving and

caring but having faced the challenge of a brother who is a

destroying his life with drugs---and will continue to use drugs and

has served time --shrug---once you understand the concepts of

releasing Control over others--it is a better way of living.

My mother cries and I am her primary resource ---always have been.

Lived through domestic abuse and all that goes with dysfunctional

families--what I need was refuse to quit--utilized every resource

available and was persistent---an advocate for myself. Nobody

seemed to understand---not churches, counselors, medical

professionals, friends --not a single person to really support me.

I got a dog--and took him for walks and started learning technology.

If my brother dies tomorrow and he may and my mother dies because of

that I will know that I did all I could.

'Others have called you servant, but I have called you friend'---

if you can somehow get a hold of anything that Harrington of

Peachtree Presbyterian Church wrote--I read that. If anyone has

ever understood the healthy form of Christianity he did.

Keeping you in my prayers,

S.

May 22, 2004

& Josh,

> I'm finding it so hard to care about my moms diabetes when she

> clearly does not have any care about it what so ever.

Our prayers are with all in your family - keep your fingers crossed!

& T1

May 22, 2004

Do you perhaps know or suspect if your mom suffers from depression? It kind of

sounds like she's feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about it all. Depression is

common with a diabetes diagnosis from my reading and may even have to do in part

with the chemistry of the body being off due to the high BS levels in the blood.

The other thing I would question was has she been through a diabetes education

class? I know when first diagnosed I was so overwhelmed because I had no

flipping clue what the heck I was suppose to eat and it seemed like it was going

to take such a huge and sustained change to not die from this disease. Sure

someone said six meals a day and I assumed low or no carbs and I'd read about

the metabolic syndrome (diabetes, High blood pressure, High cholesterol= heart

attack and/or stroke basically)) and I already had two of the 3 so Low fat was

important. What was I supposed to do eat nothing but chicken breasts and salad

for the rest of my life and six times a day at that???? Fortunately I DID take a

class and felt much less overwhelmed when I knew the changes needed were not so

extreme. They were in fact pretty easily doable with a few adjustments and

tweaks here and there. Here they encourage a support person to attend the

classes also, maybe you could do that with your mom and feel more knowledgeable

and in control of it yourself. Also since your risk of developing diabetes

yourself just went up greatly maybe you can learn how to make some changes now

to avoid it all together later in life.

In the end the control of her health is up to her. There may come a day that she

decides to take control of the disease. It doesn't have to be tomorrow.

Encourage her to set small doable goals. Walk around the block after a meal once

or twice a day for example. Heck walk with her if you can. Maybe setting the

goal to switching to nonfat milk or diet drinks. Using Splenda or nutrasweet in

place of sugar. Small achievable goals will make it all less overwhelming and

will build a foundation of success.

Tammy

May 21st,2004

I'm finding it so hard to care about my moms diabetes

when she clearly does not have any care about it what so ever. I wish

I could just say its her life and leave it at that but I don't wanna

have to explain to my 10 yr old son when she dies why she isnt around

anymore. Her sugar level has been well into the 300-400 for a few

months at least. I lost my father at an early age of 50 from lung

cancer and I just dont like to sit and watch her not give a care

about her health. So for now I guess I will worry about my son and

myself and just hope one day before its to late she will realise just

how serious diabetes is. I wanna thank everyone who has wrote to me I

did print it out and shared it with the rest of my family and I also

made my mom read the responces as well.

and Josh(my 10 yr old son)

May 22, 2004

Dear

Its true that no one can do it for your mom. She has to want to take

care of herself..... How about, for awhile, you dont call or stop by.

When she asks you why, tell her you are seeing what it would be

like to be without her.....Or ask her how she felt when you and your

son weren't around. Did she miss you? Tell her you care about her

and love her. You want her in you life, not out.

Jany

-------Original Message-------

May 22, 2004

My Dad is a Type 2 diabetic and since my new diagnosis I realize how

important it is to take care of yourself. My Dad seems to just not care

either! It is almost as if he has given up!

Re: It's Hard To Care !!

Do you perhaps know or suspect if your mom suffers from depression? It

kind of sounds like she's feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about it all.

Depression is common with a diabetes diagnosis from my reading and may even

have to do in part with the chemistry of the body being off due to the high

BS levels in the blood.

The other thing I would question was has she been through a diabetes

education class? I know when first diagnosed I was so overwhelmed because I

had no flipping clue what the heck I was suppose to eat and it seemed like

it was going to take such a huge and sustained change to not die from this

disease. Sure someone said six meals a day and I assumed low or no carbs and

I'd read about the metabolic syndrome (diabetes, High blood pressure, High

cholesterol= heart attack and/or stroke basically)) and I already had two of

the 3 so Low fat was important. What was I supposed to do eat nothing but

chicken breasts and salad for the rest of my life and six times a day at

that???? Fortunately I DID take a class and felt much less overwhelmed when

I knew the changes needed were not so extreme. They were in fact pretty

easily doable with a few adjustments and tweaks here and there. Here they

encourage a support person to attend the classes also, maybe you could do

that with your mom and feel more knowledgeable and in control of it

yourself. Also since your risk of developing diabetes yourself just went up

greatly maybe you can learn how to make some changes now to avoid it all

together later in life.

In the end the control of her health is up to her. There may come a day

that she decides to take control of the disease. It doesn't have to be

tomorrow. Encourage her to set small doable goals. Walk around the block

after a meal once or twice a day for example. Heck walk with her if you can.

Maybe setting the goal to switching to nonfat milk or diet drinks. Using

Splenda or nutrasweet in place of sugar. Small achievable goals will make it

all less overwhelming and will build a foundation of success.