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In a message dated 6/4/02 1:58:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time, njm6262@...

writes:

> i have a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently in early

> childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in fall...she loves

> school, and this thurs. is last day....

Tell us what state you are in. Most of the time schools have camps for kids

during the summer. I just found out today that there is a summer program for

kids 3-5 even though the school has flat our told me that there wasn't a

program!

G

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Welcome, ! I am n, 35, mom of , 8 and autistic. We

are from Germany. Lately, I just had time to write a little, but I am

always around to read.

Take care.

n (p.s. My husband think about discipline too, urgh)

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,

Glad you joined the group. I am Jacquie H, married to Jeff and we

live in California. We have 2 boys and a baby due in about 5 weeks.

Greggory is 6 yrs and HF autistic and just finishing up kindergarten.

Alec is 4.5 yrs moderate autistic and bp and adhd. He is finishing up

this school yr in 2 weeks.

Jacquie H

> hi everyone--

> i am new to group....have been reading your posts, for about a week

> now, they come to my email....so many things i can relate

with..just

> got computer and hooked up to internet..just for this purpose, of

> finding out more info, especially parents dealing w/autism...i have

> a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently in early

> childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in fall...she loves

> school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know what im gonna do

> for summmer....yikes...just left her dad in feb. (too many problems-

-

> stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea, ok)i also have

14yr

> son, and 1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and is in cast for

> 3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all these changes,

> going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to chatting with

> you... nancy

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Welcome ,

Sounds like you have a lot going on. Glad you could join us.

Tuna :)

new to group

hi everyone--

i am new to group....have been reading your posts, for about a week

now, they come to my email....so many things i can relate with..just

got computer and hooked up to internet..just for this purpose, of

finding out more info, especially parents dealing w/autism...i have

a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently in early

childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in fall...she loves

school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know what im gonna do

for summmer....yikes...just left her dad in feb. (too many problems--

stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea, ok)i also have 14yr

son, and 1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and is in cast for

3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all these changes,

going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to chatting with

you... nancy

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Welcome . I go through spells of reading and posting. Lately I haven't

had time to post after reading but I wanted to welcome you aboard!

CHRIS

&

Parents of:

Sully (AS) 10\94

Chenoa (NT) 6\96

Trevayne (PDDNOS) 3\98

set (Awaiting DX, Significant Speech Delay) 12\99

I'M THANKFUL FOR LAUGHTER, JOY AND THE HIGH SPIRITED GLEE THAT FILLS MY HEART TO

OVERFLOWING (SIGH).

-EEYORE

new to group

hi everyone--

i am new to group....have been reading your posts, for about a week

now, they come to my email....so many things i can relate with..just

got computer and hooked up to internet..just for this purpose, of

finding out more info, especially parents dealing w/autism...i have

a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently in early

childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in fall...she loves

school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know what im gonna do

for summmer....yikes...just left her dad in feb. (too many problems--

stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea, ok)i also have 14yr

son, and 1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and is in cast for

3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all these changes,

going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to chatting with

you... nancy

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Well...THERE'S the intro! LOL

....where are you from?

Penny

new to group

hi everyone--

i am new to group....have been reading your posts, for about a week

now, they come to my email....so many things i can relate with..just

got computer and hooked up to internet..just for this purpose, of

finding out more info, especially parents dealing w/autism...i have

a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently in early

childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in fall...she loves

school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know what im gonna do

for summmer....yikes...just left her dad in feb. (too many problems--

stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea, ok)i also have 14yr

son, and 1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and is in cast for

3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all these changes,

going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to chatting with

you... nancy

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Hi ! Nice to have you here. I have five kids which is probably at

least five too many and perhaps six or seven too many given that some of

mine are extra-hard.

> i am new to group....have been reading your posts, for about a week

> now, they come to my email....so many things i can relate with..just

> got computer and hooked up to internet..just for this purpose, of

> finding out more info, especially parents dealing w/autism...i have

> a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently in early

> childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in fall...she loves

> school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know what im gonna do

> for summmer....

Doesn't she get extended school year? Putter does, but perhaps she is not

too autistic. You get it if they think you would lose ground. I am pretty

sure that Mr. Putt would not forget one darned thing if he were off all

summer long as I have never known him to forget anything but I am just

delighted to have them take him on for a few hours a day in the summer.

yikes...just left her dad in feb. (too many problems--

> stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea, ok)

My husband had big problems here. But he got violent about it and we have

been separated for five years. He's an Aspie, I am pretty sure.

i also have 14yr

> son, and

I have a fifteen year old with AS and a thirteen year old who I think is NT

but he has some sensory issues and he is pretty depressed.

1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and is in cast for

> 3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all these changes,

> going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to chatting with

> you...

And I have an 8 year old daughter who is very NT, and just like me! Plus a

three year old who is also NT but has some speech issues (he is very hard to

understand). Busy life. Nice to meet you and look forward to hearing more

about you and your family.

Salli

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Welcome again, ! I have a 17 year old, an 11 year

old, Ebony-4 yrs old, ASD, ADHD, and bipolar, and a

one year old boy. I just know you will like this

group, it is so great. Good to have you with us.....

Tamara

--- njm6262 wrote:

> hi everyone--

> i am new to group....have been reading your posts,

> for about a week

> now, they come to my email....so many things i can

> relate with..just

> got computer and hooked up to internet..just for

> this purpose, of

> finding out more info, especially parents dealing

> w/autism...i have

> a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently

> in early

> childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in

> fall...she loves

> school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know

> what im gonna do

> for summmer....yikes...just left her dad in feb.

> (too many problems--

> stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea,

> ok)i also have 14yr

> son, and 1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and

> is in cast for

> 3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all

> these changes,

> going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to

> chatting with

> you... nancy

>

>

=====

Tamara

mom to :

Ebony, 4 yrs -- asd, ADHD, bi-polar

, 1 year

wife to:

Terry, love of my life

__________________________________________________

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Welcome ,

You will love it here!

--- njm6262 wrote:

> hi everyone--

> i am new to group....have been reading your posts,

> for about a week

> now, they come to my email....so many things i can

> relate with..just

> got computer and hooked up to internet..just for

> this purpose, of

> finding out more info, especially parents dealing

> w/autism...i have

> a daughter who just turned 6 with autism...currently

> in early

> childhood (2nd year) and hopefully kindergarden in

> fall...she loves

> school, and this thurs. is last day....don't know

> what im gonna do

> for summmer....yikes...just left her dad in feb.

> (too many problems--

> stress, he thinks discipline is the answer--yea,

> ok)i also have 14yr

> son, and 1 yr daughter (who just broke her wrist and

> is in cast for

> 3 weeks) lots of trantrums lately, think due to all

> these changes,

> going kind of crazy myself....looking forward to

> chatting with

> you... nancy

>

>

>

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  • 2 years later...

Hello and welcome to the list.

Kay

new to group

> Hi everyone,

> My name is i am new to this group.

> I must say over the last few weeks it has been wonderful reading

> everyone posts. So much help and support!

> Our family attended our First International CHARGE conference in

> Cleveland Ohio last July.

> It was an AMAZING experence...

> I am learning on my new journey with CHARGE that anything is

> possible!. Don't give up

> My husband, myself and daughters traveled from Australia (Perth) to

> the US and then onto Canada.

> thank-you to everyone for being so open & honest in your posts.

>

> Our daughter Ashleigh (CHARGE) is 3yrs. I would have never thought

> that i would be taking her on a international flight.Away from our

> security blanket of Dr's etc here.... But I managed to do this even

> with All the extra equipment such as a C Pap machine, and Kangaroo

> pump.

> It was an amazing experience meeting other families.

> We are shortly off to The Australiasian CHARGE Conference in October

> (1-3) which is being held in Sydney.

> If any of you get an opportunity to come down under and attend this..

> I would LOVE to meet with you.

> regards

> W

>

>

>

>

> Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation.

> For information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter)

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page

> at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

> 7th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005.

Information will be available at our website

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may

contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit

www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you!

>

>

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Hello and welcome to the list.

Kay

new to group

> Hi everyone,

> My name is i am new to this group.

> I must say over the last few weeks it has been wonderful reading

> everyone posts. So much help and support!

> Our family attended our First International CHARGE conference in

> Cleveland Ohio last July.

> It was an AMAZING experence...

> I am learning on my new journey with CHARGE that anything is

> possible!. Don't give up

> My husband, myself and daughters traveled from Australia (Perth) to

> the US and then onto Canada.

> thank-you to everyone for being so open & honest in your posts.

>

> Our daughter Ashleigh (CHARGE) is 3yrs. I would have never thought

> that i would be taking her on a international flight.Away from our

> security blanket of Dr's etc here.... But I managed to do this even

> with All the extra equipment such as a C Pap machine, and Kangaroo

> pump.

> It was an amazing experience meeting other families.

> We are shortly off to The Australiasian CHARGE Conference in October

> (1-3) which is being held in Sydney.

> If any of you get an opportunity to come down under and attend this..

> I would LOVE to meet with you.

> regards

> W

>

>

>

>

> Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation.

> For information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter)

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page

> at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

> 7th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005.

Information will be available at our website

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may

contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit

www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you!

>

>

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Hello and welcome to the list.

Kay

new to group

> Hi everyone,

> My name is i am new to this group.

> I must say over the last few weeks it has been wonderful reading

> everyone posts. So much help and support!

> Our family attended our First International CHARGE conference in

> Cleveland Ohio last July.

> It was an AMAZING experence...

> I am learning on my new journey with CHARGE that anything is

> possible!. Don't give up

> My husband, myself and daughters traveled from Australia (Perth) to

> the US and then onto Canada.

> thank-you to everyone for being so open & honest in your posts.

>

> Our daughter Ashleigh (CHARGE) is 3yrs. I would have never thought

> that i would be taking her on a international flight.Away from our

> security blanket of Dr's etc here.... But I managed to do this even

> with All the extra equipment such as a C Pap machine, and Kangaroo

> pump.

> It was an amazing experience meeting other families.

> We are shortly off to The Australiasian CHARGE Conference in October

> (1-3) which is being held in Sydney.

> If any of you get an opportunity to come down under and attend this..

> I would LOVE to meet with you.

> regards

> W

>

>

>

>

> Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation.

> For information about the CHARGE Syndrome

> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter)

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page

> at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

> 7th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005.

Information will be available at our website

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may

contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit

www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you!

>

>

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Hi ! Glad you made it to the list....

Hope the Australasian conference goes great!

Weir

Mom to Kennedy 6 yr old with CHARGE, 15, 13 and wife to Graeme.

New Brunswick, Canada

Weir homepage: http://ca.geocities.com/weirfamilyrogers

CHARGE SYNDROME CANADA: http://www.chargesyndrome.ca

new to group

Hi everyone,

My name is i am new to this group.

I must say over the last few weeks it has been wonderful reading

everyone posts. So much help and support!

Our family attended our First International CHARGE conference in

Cleveland Ohio last July.

It was an AMAZING experence...

I am learning on my new journey with CHARGE that anything is

possible!. Don't give up

My husband, myself and daughters traveled from Australia (Perth) to

the US and then onto Canada.

thank-you to everyone for being so open & honest in your posts.

Our daughter Ashleigh (CHARGE) is 3yrs. I would have never thought

that i would be taking her on a international flight.Away from our

security blanket of Dr's etc here.... But I managed to do this even

with All the extra equipment such as a C Pap machine, and Kangaroo

pump.

It was an amazing experience meeting other families.

We are shortly off to The Australiasian CHARGE Conference in October

(1-3) which is being held in Sydney.

If any of you get an opportunity to come down under and attend this..

I would LOVE to meet with you.

regards

W

Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation.

For information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter)

please contact marion@... or visit

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page

at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

7th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005.

Information will be available at our website

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may

contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit

www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you!

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Share on other sites

Hi ! Glad you made it to the list....

Hope the Australasian conference goes great!

Weir

Mom to Kennedy 6 yr old with CHARGE, 15, 13 and wife to Graeme.

New Brunswick, Canada

Weir homepage: http://ca.geocities.com/weirfamilyrogers

CHARGE SYNDROME CANADA: http://www.chargesyndrome.ca

new to group

Hi everyone,

My name is i am new to this group.

I must say over the last few weeks it has been wonderful reading

everyone posts. So much help and support!

Our family attended our First International CHARGE conference in

Cleveland Ohio last July.

It was an AMAZING experence...

I am learning on my new journey with CHARGE that anything is

possible!. Don't give up

My husband, myself and daughters traveled from Australia (Perth) to

the US and then onto Canada.

thank-you to everyone for being so open & honest in your posts.

Our daughter Ashleigh (CHARGE) is 3yrs. I would have never thought

that i would be taking her on a international flight.Away from our

security blanket of Dr's etc here.... But I managed to do this even

with All the extra equipment such as a C Pap machine, and Kangaroo

pump.

It was an amazing experience meeting other families.

We are shortly off to The Australiasian CHARGE Conference in October

(1-3) which is being held in Sydney.

If any of you get an opportunity to come down under and attend this..

I would LOVE to meet with you.

regards

W

Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation.

For information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter)

please contact marion@... or visit

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page

at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

7th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005.

Information will be available at our website

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may

contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit

www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi ! Glad you made it to the list....

Hope the Australasian conference goes great!

Weir

Mom to Kennedy 6 yr old with CHARGE, 15, 13 and wife to Graeme.

New Brunswick, Canada

Weir homepage: http://ca.geocities.com/weirfamilyrogers

CHARGE SYNDROME CANADA: http://www.chargesyndrome.ca

new to group

Hi everyone,

My name is i am new to this group.

I must say over the last few weeks it has been wonderful reading

everyone posts. So much help and support!

Our family attended our First International CHARGE conference in

Cleveland Ohio last July.

It was an AMAZING experence...

I am learning on my new journey with CHARGE that anything is

possible!. Don't give up

My husband, myself and daughters traveled from Australia (Perth) to

the US and then onto Canada.

thank-you to everyone for being so open & honest in your posts.

Our daughter Ashleigh (CHARGE) is 3yrs. I would have never thought

that i would be taking her on a international flight.Away from our

security blanket of Dr's etc here.... But I managed to do this even

with All the extra equipment such as a C Pap machine, and Kangaroo

pump.

It was an amazing experience meeting other families.

We are shortly off to The Australiasian CHARGE Conference in October

(1-3) which is being held in Sydney.

If any of you get an opportunity to come down under and attend this..

I would LOVE to meet with you.

regards

W

Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation.

For information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter)

please contact marion@... or visit

the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page

at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

7th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005.

Information will be available at our website

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may

contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit

www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you!

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  • 4 years later...
Guest guest

welcome..my nada refuses to believe anything is wrong with her...it's

everyone else around her thats crazy !! my nada would NOT live with me, I

don't care if she ended up in a ditch..I don't hate her, but I will NOT put

up with her abuse any longer. MY nada is extremely nasty, controlling,

manipulative, hateful, a bully and was very physically abusive until we got

bigger than her...she's threatened to kill us several times, even tried on

me twice that I can remember....and she getting worse with age !! your reap

what you sow

Jackie

Hello,

I was listening to a call in radio show recently, and when I heard the

psychiatrist describe BPD, I thought: That's my mother!

I have weathered many storms in our relationship, but recently she entered a

period of great instability - can't hold a job, lost her apartment, living

with me, now my brother. This situation being created by her condition, I

believe. And where, during times of relative stability the storms are

lessened, she is now almost entirely " active " - and, of course, she sees

herself only as the victim.

Not living with her is such a relief, but I see my brother going through

exactly the same patterns: believing we can help and " fix " things, but then

having the situation blow up and become incredibly painful, and ultimately

becoming blamed for causing the situation.

I am in group support, which has been a great benefit to me. I also meditate

and use a " loving-kindness " practice towards my mom, which helps me a lot.

Also - " pain-body " , anyone? That is, I've been reading Eckhart Tolle and

wonder about his theory of the pain body.

I am working on letting go of needing to " fix " my mom, and allowing her to

have her own journey. I am working on sending good thoughts her way, but

also allowing myself to not call her and to bring our communications down to

a minimum.

I have a few questions:

First, does the BP in your life have a BPD diagnosis and receive treatment?

If so, how did that happen? My mom has certainly had a relationship with

therapy, hospitalizations, meds over the years, but she has not sought

treatment recently. Has anyone been able to suggest, " Hey, I think you have

BPD " and had it go over well?!

Secondly, have any of you gotten to the point where it's either you or

homelessness for your BP? If so, what did you do? My mom has already

exhausted her support, and she has no money, so I don't know what will

happen once my brother has had enough. I can't take her back - but she

creates crisis after crisis, and I can see her creating a new crisis with my

brother that would " require " me to take her in.

Thanks for reading. I wish us all strength in working through our personal

situations.

APF

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Guest guest

About the pain-body...I'm a big fan of Tolle and it's such a shame that

your nada has ruined him for you. It's incredibly ironic that your nada goes

on about pain-bodies and OTHER people's pain-bodies. When she herself is no

doubt very responsible for contributing to the pain many other people carry, and

very directly created whatever lifetime pain you carry. What unbelievable

gall!

As I understand the pain body, it's essentially the stored and compressed pain

of a lifetime that tends to conglomerate itself mostly in the subconscious

except when triggered. This is pain that is still waiting to be healed and

worked through. So when you are having a good day and then someone says the

perfect thing that reminds you of a million other pains of the same kind and it

all comes rushing back - that IS the pain-body. I believe people with BPD are

so consumed and unaware of this that they strike out with incredible force or

manipulations to control others so they don't have to experience their own pain.

Their pain is very real (to them) even if it doesn't appear rational to us. Sad

thing is they just end up passing it on to everybody else. For a nada to focus

on other people's pain-bodies is the height of projection.

APF, the burden of being the only person between nada and some terrible outcome

like homelessness is a bad one. Still sounds like she's burned bridges with

many. The only encouraging thing I can think of is that I've heard homeless

women have some better options of getting into shelters than homeless men do.

Sounds like she's really bringing these consequences on herself though.

> >

> > Hello,

> > I was listening to a call in radio show recently, and when I heard the

psychiatrist describe BPD, I thought: That's my mother!

> >

> > I have weathered many storms in our relationship, but recently she entered a

period of great instability - can't hold a job, lost her apartment, living with

me, now my brother. This situation being created by her condition, I believe.

And where, during times of relative stability the storms are lessened, she is

now almost entirely " active " - and, of course, she sees herself only as the

victim.

> >

> > Not living with her is such a relief, but I see my brother going through

exactly the same patterns: believing we can help and " fix " things, but then

having the situation blow up and become incredibly painful, and ultimately

becoming blamed for causing the situation.

> >

> > I am in group support, which has been a great benefit to me. I also meditate

and use a " loving-kindness " practice towards my mom, which helps me a lot. Also

- " pain-body " , anyone? That is, I've been reading Eckhart Tolle and wonder about

his theory of the pain body.

> >

> > I am working on letting go of needing to " fix " my mom, and allowing her to

have her own journey. I am working on sending good thoughts her way, but also

allowing myself to not call her and to bring our communications down to a

minimum.

> >

> > I have a few questions:

> > First, does the BP in your life have a BPD diagnosis and receive treatment?

If so, how did that happen? My mom has certainly had a relationship with

therapy, hospitalizations, meds over the years, but she has not sought treatment

recently. Has anyone been able to suggest, " Hey, I think you have BPD " and had

it go over well?!

> >

> > Secondly, have any of you gotten to the point where it's either you or

homelessness for your BP? If so, what did you do? My mom has already exhausted

her support, and she has no money, so I don't know what will happen once my

brother has had enough. I can't take her back - but she creates crisis after

crisis, and I can see her creating a new crisis with my brother that would

" require " me to take her in.

> >

> > Thanks for reading. I wish us all strength in working through our personal

situations.

> >

> > APF

> >

>

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Guest guest

APF - My Nada has been diagnosed - and has self diagnosed - herself with

practically everything EXCEPT BPD. Whatever the disease du jour on Montel is,

she has it (and calls me to tell me I have it, too). She has routinely tried to

convince her doctors that she has one or another syndrome, until they get wise

to her. Since I found out about BPD (suggested by one of her professional

caregivers, after they observed her crazy behavior) - things have fallen into

place for ME. But I will never tell Nada that she has BPD, or ask her to

explore this with her doctors. Why? Because by definition, BPD's target

certain people, and behave badly toward them, while fooling the rest of the

world. My Nada (and probably many others here) will NEVER admit that she has

ever done anything wrong, or that she was ever less than a stellar mother to her

children. She is old enough that she won't change her behavior toward me, so

all I can do is understand why she does what she does, try to be compassionate,

and above all, protect myself and my family from her. Why trigger a hissy-fit by

telling Nada a truth she cannot handle? No, thanks.

So about the " living with Nada " question - my Nada did actually live with us for

about a year when my son was born - it was a financial arrangement because I'd

been supporting her and couldn't afford to do that and hire a nanny. After

becoming ill (not her fault), she accused me of giving her cancer (OK, probably

not my fault) and the situation went downhill from there. Finally, she decided

she'd had enough of our " bad treatment " (providing her with an in-law suite,

paying her bills, taking her to doctors appts, cooking her meals, buying her

groceries, etc.) and she demanded to return to her home town. We gladly agreed.

Several years later, she decided she needs to be " Near Family " and wants us to

look for a place where she can live with us, or nearby, " so I can help her. " I

told her that we have already done that, it did not work well for any of us, and

we cannot do it again. She went into a sob story about being old and sick

(true), and I told her we'd need to look for a Medicare-funded nursing home with

a mental health ward. She has not brought it up since. -

>

> I have a few questions:

> First, does the BP in your life have a BPD diagnosis and receive treatment? If

so, how did that happen? My mom has certainly had a relationship with therapy,

hospitalizations, meds over the years, but she has not sought treatment

recently. Has anyone been able to suggest, " Hey, I think you have BPD " and had

it go over well?!

>

> Secondly, have any of you gotten to the point where it's either you or

homelessness for your BP? If so, what did you do? My mom has already exhausted

her support, and she has no money, so I don't know what will happen once my

brother has had enough. I can't take her back - but she creates crisis after

crisis, and I can see her creating a new crisis with my brother that would

" require " me to take her in.

>

> APF

>

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