Guest guest Posted March 6, 2003 Report Share Posted March 6, 2003 Just another suggestion, then, if loose bowels/diarrhea is the problem. Boost is a milk based formula so you might have better luck with a non-milk supplement such as Ensure. Dolores Re: question > > THANKS DOLORES, > > CONSTIPATION IS NOT A PROBLEM FOR DON. QUITE TO THE CONTRARY. IT SEEMS TO BE RELATED TO THE BOOST. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 Bonnie Lucas, I think the Ball Tournament is a wonderful idea! Could you pull it off without him knowing? Why don't you ask Don, on the sly, what he would rather have money go to...PLS, ALS or both? I, for one, would certainly understand if the money went to ALS. After all, ALS research is really important to us PLSers also. Do you have a local ALS chapter? They might be able to help you pull off the tournament idea. If I remember correctly, you are pretty good at organizing gatherings. Thomson Solana Beach, Ca Visit www.als-pls.org and www.geocities.com/mdmfoo/pls.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2003 Report Share Posted April 12, 2003 Question: what is the difference between Colnus, spasm, and spasticity. I keep getting them mixed up... --------------------------- A Breaux > Re: QUESTION > > > Moshe, > > A spasm is a sudden muscle contraction and is generally > very painful (like a charlie horse in the calf muscle) and > then goes away after a while when the muscle has a > chance to relax again, whereas spasticity is overall and > continual muscle stiffness and resistance to movement with > increased tendon reflexes. For a normal person movement is > possible by the push and pull of opposite muscles -- for > example bending your arm uses one set of muscles and > straightening your arm uses the opposing muscles. Spasticity > generally means one muscle is in more tension than the other > and if you don't do gentle stretching exercises and use > muscle relaxants these muscles will tighten up and you will > have more cramping and spasms. Stretches allow the muscle to > lengthen again and provide a greater range of motion for your > movements. Hope this helps. > > Lyndal > > In a message dated 4/11/2003 7:26:49 AM Mountain Standard > Time, holam@... writes: > > > > Is spasticity the same as spasm ? > > Moshe > > MOISES HOLAM > > --- > Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > Version: 6.0.470 / Virus Database: 268 - Release Date: 08/04/03 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 Thank you very much. --------------------------- A Breaux Disability is an external influence It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the Beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion > Re: QUESTION > > > and Moshe, > > As I understand them, spasticity is a continuous contraction of a > voluntary > muscle causing stiffness and tightness and is usually caused by damage > to > brain cells or cells in the spinal cord. > > Symptoms of spasticity include: > muscle spasms (involuntary contraction of muscle fibers; the > spasms > may be clonic in which muscles contract and relax alternately in quick > succession or tonic in which the muscles contract in a steady state for > prolonged periods), > increased muscle tone, hyperreflexitivity, > fixed joints (for example, " frozen shoulder " ) and > clonus (rapid alternating contractions and relaxations of a > muscle. > > There is a fine line between the above, but technically, clonus and > spasms > are symptoms of the broader topic " spasticity " . > > Dolores > RE: QUESTION > > > > > > Question: what is the difference between Colnus, spasm, and > spasticity. I > > keep getting them mixed up... > > > > --------------------------- > > A Breaux > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thanks so much for your replies. I will get to see her, after I drop DH off at the airport early on Sunday I will go and visit with my sister on Monday and possibly Tuesday. So maybe that will be ok, to see her Monday and just see my aunt on Sunday pm. I often wish this all wasn't so complicated. Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it. Lucky Blue Jay > > > > I think I have a distorted view of normal interactions, for sure I am hyper-senstive to others' feelings, as a result of how I grew up. This is my question. My husband will be flying out of a city where my aunt (dad's sister) and my sister both live. Since my husband flight leaves super early in the morning, we will need to stay in that city (we live about four hours away from this airport) before his flight. My husband wants to stay with my aunt. I don't mind staying with her; I like her. The problem is that there is a whole lot of family drama between my nada and my dad's side of the family My sister has had her problems with that side of the family, too. I think that my nada and my sister's problems are their problems--I'm not withholding relationship from myself with my dad's family based on someone else's (mom and sister's) problems with them. I think, though, if we stay with my aunt and my sister finds out (which she will) she might get hurt that we didn't stay with her. My nada will definitely blow a gasket. Oh well about that. Whatever. > > > > I am worried about sister's response, though. We've just started to have a relationship. If she is hurt that I didn't stay with her, do you think this would be a reasonable hurt for someone to have? Or, if sister is hurt would it be an unreasonable hurt for her to have? > > > > I guess what I am really worried about is that sister will be mad at me and the relationship we have will be impacted, and I don't want that to happen. > > > > Even more than that, though, I want to protect my relationship with my husband. There has been so much drama surrounding him and my side of the family that he just has no interest in my family whatsoever. I don't blame him at all. I support him in his needs for space from my family right now. There is no way I am going to " Make " him stay with my sister. > > > > > > Thanks, > > Lucky Blue Jay > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 that's a tough one as said, and everyone handles it differently. I got stuck in the angry phase and that's what sent me to the therapist. What she did was take me back through the stages I had already gone through, and we found I was stuck because my inner child was still looking/hoping for a " normal " relationship and a normal mother, and I'd get angry and hurt when I dd my part, but nada failed to do as she should have...the therapist showed me that that was never going to happen, and showed me how others in my life ( humans as well as non humans) had mothered and nurtured me, and that now I'm an adult and no longer need a mother. There was never a relationship to begin with, it was all centered around what nada wanted, not what I needed..once I understood I was never going to have a normal mother ( we all hope for a long time) nor a normal relationship, and that my nada would never love me, never care about me the way a mother should, that sort of made the anger go away...well, most of it...and my relationship and thoughts about my nada greatly changed..I never again saw her as the " boss " of me, the one who controls me..and I could see her for the nasty bully she is, and from that point on, she's never been about to push my buttons... Jackie How do people get past all of the anger towards the havoc the person with BPD has created and move forward? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 that's a tough one as said, and everyone handles it differently. I got stuck in the angry phase and that's what sent me to the therapist. What she did was take me back through the stages I had already gone through, and we found I was stuck because my inner child was still looking/hoping for a " normal " relationship and a normal mother, and I'd get angry and hurt when I dd my part, but nada failed to do as she should have...the therapist showed me that that was never going to happen, and showed me how others in my life ( humans as well as non humans) had mothered and nurtured me, and that now I'm an adult and no longer need a mother. There was never a relationship to begin with, it was all centered around what nada wanted, not what I needed..once I understood I was never going to have a normal mother ( we all hope for a long time) nor a normal relationship, and that my nada would never love me, never care about me the way a mother should, that sort of made the anger go away...well, most of it...and my relationship and thoughts about my nada greatly changed..I never again saw her as the " boss " of me, the one who controls me..and I could see her for the nasty bully she is, and from that point on, she's never been about to push my buttons... Jackie How do people get past all of the anger towards the havoc the person with BPD has created and move forward? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 At 11:51 PM 06/03/2009 Gorman wrote: >How do people get past all of the anger towards the havoc the >person with BPD has created and move forward? I decided a long time ago that anger simply wasn't a constuctive emotion. Anger can be useful in that it can help give you the strength to do something about the cause of the anger. Once you've done whatever you can, it becomes destructive and eats away at you. When my nada does something nasty, I rant and rave about it for a little while then try to stop dwelling on it. Telling someone or writing it down helps get it out of my system. I think everyone needs to come to their own peace with the way they feel about dealing with a nada and/or fada. There's no magic formula for getting rid of your anger in my opinion. You just have to work at realizing that the only person you can control is yourself and that there's no point to wasting your life having destructive feelings about things you can't change. Getting to that point can take a lot of work, so don't feel bad about yourself if you're not there yet. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 I can understand that; it seems to me that dealing with and getting a handle on the anger towards someone who hurt you in the past is an entirely different proposition than dealing with anger towards a person who is actively hurting/attacking you in the present. And if the person who hurt you in the past is still actively hurting you or trying to, that complicates things exponentially. I was willing to try just going forward with my nada because attempting to get her to discuss her history of abusive behavior is pointless. She's put up a wall of denial around the past. Nada believes she was the perfect mother, now, apparently. And you're right, childhood emotional abuse seems to set us up for life to be easily blindsided by other Cluster B people. Articles I've read have said that personality disordered people make up about 10% or 11% of the population, so its not like its a rare condition. I believe I've run into more than my fair share of pd individuals over my lifetime, frankly; either that or the statistics are way off and its really more like 25% of the population. -Annie > > > That's a good question and I'm curious to see others' answers. For me, getting past the anger at my BPD'd mother involved a combination of the following: Learning about BPD and learning that there was a reason she behaves the way she does. Encountering a couple other people with BPD since then, whose behavior helped me see that the traits really are a pattern. Somehow that helped me take it less personally. I think the biggest thing was just time. For me, lots of time had to pass to lessen the anger. I also tried therapy, books, meditation, little steps at trying to feel better physically and mentally. Another huge part of healing was starting to recognize unhealthy patterns/people and keeping them out of my life in the first place; and hand-in-hand with that, finding kind people in my life who can validate my experience, and surrounding myself with healthier people. > > However, that being said... Although I have moved past my anger at my mom, and I finally recognize potential PD traits in people I date (and run like heck before getting involved), I recently got totally blindsided by a person with BPD in another area of my life. (My " current-day trigger " as I call it.) This person did the " hate campaign " thing with me, and since it's impacting a big area of my life that I can't untangle myself from right now, I still feel very angry and stressed about it. I understand that there are certain aspects of this person's behavior that they cannot control, but still... I am very angry at the disease and the situation. I went back to therapy to try to deal with the anger of this, but unfortunately, it wasn't effective. I've tried stress reduction techniques. I re-read books about BPD for the vaidation. I joined this list to remind myself that I'm not alone. I think until I can fully remove myself from my current situation, it's going to be pretty challenging to let go of the anger since I still have to face this person and deal with the aftermath of the smear campaign. > > Sorry... this turned into more of a vent than an answer! Let's see who has some good advice. > > ~Saturday > > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > From: pug3034@... > Date: Wed, 3 Jun 2009 20:51:53 -0700 > Subject: question > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > How do people get past all of the anger towards the havoc the person with BPD has created and move forward? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 - Use mental Ju Jitsu - realize that they create the storms to get attention, and just step aside and let the tornado pass you by. Let the force of the storm carry her past you. Do not engage. Learn to walk away. If you get angry, then you're IN the storm. Why? It does you no good, and solves no problems. It just feeds Nada's behavior and teaches her that her havoc is the way to get you to focus on her. - > > How do people get past all of the anger towards the havoc the person with BPD has created and move forward? > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Thanks, Astridz. It helps to know that others understand, so thanks for sharing your story. It's funny-- I've been using some of your techniques (not talking about it to anyone else in the situation, avoiding the person/situation as much as possible, and just realizing that this too shall pass once I can get myself out of this situation). I felt like I had made so much progress over the years in other areas-- coming to terms about my mom's illness, avoiding romantic relationships with disordered people, etc. But this situation snuck up on me and I'm frustrated with myself for not recognizing it just because it was wearing a different outfit. ;-) Anyway, thanks for sharing. ~Saturday To: WTOAdultChildren1 From: astridz00@... Date: Mon, 8 Jun 2009 17:58:33 +0000 Subject: Re: question I had a similar situation with a BPD ex-friend at work. She was behaving in an inappropriate way and injecting way too much drama in my life, so I made the choice to end the frienship, at which point she started spreading rumors about me. I don't know what she was telling people, but I know it must have been something bad because people I didn't even know despised me intensely. So, this situation made me angry. It went on for 1.5 years and has died down now. I didn't say a word in my own defense, and I said nothing bad about the ex-friend during this time (well, there was one time when I said something a bit passive aggressive, but only that one time.) By now, a lot of the people she was talking to are reaching out to me. I just went to the gym with one of them a few hours ago. I think that they realize that my ex-friend has issues. Perhaps they have seen her other side now, too. I still don't really know. Sometimes a situation sucks and you can't do anything and you just have to work on coping. The good thing is that no situation lasts forever and " this too shall pass. " I don't believe that anger can be willed away. The most you can do is be aware of it and try to modify your behavior so you don't lash out. I personally use avoidant coping techniques. In other words, I stayed away from my ex-friend and her cohorts as much as humanly possible. This might be sort of cowardly, but it kept me out of high-drama situations where I might have blurted out something I would have regretted. Headphones (an iPod or whatever) helped me, too. I'd put on podcasts or music to block out what other people were doing and to keep myself from thinking repetitive thoughts about how big a % & #$# my ex-friend was and how these other people were fools to fall for her waif act (notably, I fell for it, too, for a long time, so they aren't really to blame.) I hope my story helps you. Maybe other people will have more coping ideas. Good luck. > > > That's a good question and I'm curious to see others' answers. For me, getting past the anger at my BPD'd mother involved a combination of the following: Learning about BPD and learning that there was a reason she behaves the way she does. Encountering a couple other people with BPD since then, whose behavior helped me see that the traits really are a pattern. Somehow that helped me take it less personally. I think the biggest thing was just time. For me, lots of time had to pass to lessen the anger. I also tried therapy, books, meditation, little steps at trying to feel better physically and mentally. Another huge part of healing was starting to recognize unhealthy patterns/people and keeping them out of my life in the first place; and hand-in-hand with that, finding kind people in my life who can validate my experience, and surrounding myself with healthier people. > > However, that being said... Although I have moved past my anger at my mom, and I finally recognize potential PD traits in people I date (and run like heck before getting involved), I recently got totally blindsided by a person with BPD in another area of my life. (My " current-day trigger " as I call it.) This person did the " hate campaign " thing with me, and since it's impacting a big area of my life that I can't untangle myself from right now, I still feel very angry and stressed about it. I understand that there are certain aspects of this person's behavior that they cannot control, but still... I am very angry at the disease and the situation. I went back to therapy to try to deal with the anger of this, but unfortunately, it wasn't effective. I've tried stress reduction techniques. I re-read books about BPD for the vaidation. I joined this list to remind myself that I'm not alone. I think until I can fully remove myself from my current situation, it's going to be pretty challenging to let go of the anger since I still have to face this person and deal with the aftermath of the smear campaign. > > Sorry... this turned into more of a vent than an answer! Let's see who has some good advice. > > ~Saturday > > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > From: pug3034@... > Date: Wed, 3 Jun 2009 20:51:53 -0700 > Subject: question > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > How do people get past all of the anger towards the havoc the person with BPD has created and move forward? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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