Guest guest Posted April 27, 2009 Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 ... Thanks for the advice and perspective about not deviating from protocol. I agree that Nada's ice cream offer was also an attempt to extend the evening, at her house or the ice cream parlor, I don't think it mattered, I think she just wanted to see if she could manipulate me. I got up this morning feeling like an adult, standing taller and feeling more confident than I have in a long, long time. One small victory tells me it can be accomplished again...if I remain within the parameters of my boundaries. I don't want to get overly confident however because I know both nada and my bp daughter-in-law can immediately sense when I've let my guard down. I get broadsided and never see it coming. I ordered a book online last night to read about people who manipulate you using Fear, Obligation and Guilt. I need to get a better grasp on their manipulative tactics so I can identify them and take measures to protect myself and avoid it at all costs. These personality types are so intimidating to me and more often than not I just shut down, passively accepting unacceptable behavior. I like some of the advice given to me about ignore their whining and complaining...but HEAR and ADDRESS their verbal abuse. GUess I need to rehearse some responses for such occasions, because I'm really good at thinking of things I should have said AFTER the Fact. I guess I need to be prepared for battle in order to have peace. Wondering what sort of comebacks others of you use when your nada, fada or other bp in your life becomes verbally abusive? I need all the help I can get! 2 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - 2 - Congratulations! I'm glad it went well - I wondered how you were doing with the dinner. It sounds like everybody operated on a very formal (i.e. " well behaved " ) level, so it went smoothly, like a state dinner. This might be the best way to proceed - formal manners, public settings, and yes, oh yes, always separate cars. Nada's offer to buy ice cream might have been a pitch to linger a little at her house (which would have put you on her territory) while finishing the ice cream. While it could be that she simply wanted to just extend a nice evening, I think you were right to stick to the plan. The White House protocol chief doesn't deviate from formal etiquette when two warring heads of state are present - the rigid framework serves a purpose. Good for you! - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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