Subject: The Senility Prayer

[Guest guest]

--- Begin Forwarded Message ---

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the Senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run

into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to

tell the difference.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have

most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All

Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is

falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

5. All reports are in; Life is now officially

unfair.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get

wiser.

8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the

hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a

few...

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause...kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't

been anywhere.

13. Only time the world beats a path to your

door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have

put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does

everyone decide to play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're

everywhere.

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking

about the hereafter...I go somewhere to

get something, and then wonder what I'm

here after.

--- End Forwarded Message ---

Pete Watts

" ...but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end

for they do so with the approval of their own conscience...To be 'cured'

against one's will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is

to be put on a level with those who have not yet reached the age of reason

or those who never will. "

C.S. " The Humanitarian Theory of Punishment (1949)