Re: Protocol for Wine

[Guest guest]

Dear Ken,

Thank you very much for your brillant essay and Happy New Year, hopefully

toasted with a Nicolas Feuillatte Palmes d'Or 1992.

Yes, I did know that Bordeaux is a region, having been there. However, in

Texas, it is considered bad form to appear to know too much about wines other

than MD 20/20, Blue Nun, and Thunderbird; therefore, to save face I saw fit

to make a little error.

You might recall that the original post was in response to the alleged

administration of wine IV by physicians onboard the AA flight where the guy

tried to blow up his shoe.

While I agree totally with your protocol, it might cause some problems when

applied in the emergency situation. I'm afraid that one could encounter an

uncouth and unseemly lack of cooperation from the highjacker, and If the bad

guy did display his total lack of class by insisting upon sniffing the cork,

one might end up implanting the cork firmly in his nostril if the aircraft

were to encounter a sudden " bump. " This, of course, could be viewed as

" passenger brutality " and could cause the whole case against the terrorist to

be thrown out of court.

Also, he could always plead that an inappropriate varietal had been

administered, which, as we know from the Napoleanic Code, is an absolute

defense to the crime if proven to the satisfaction of the jury.

So, let's all be careful out there!!!

Gene

E. Gandy, JD, LP

EMS Professions Program

Tyler Junior College

Tyler, TX

Ken Daae wrote:

Subj: Protocol for Wine

Date: 12/31/2001 12:12:45 Central Standard Time

From: <A HREF= " mailto:kdaae@... " >kdaae@...</A>

To: <A HREF= " mailto:wegandy@... " >wegandy@...</A>

Sent from the Internet (Details)

I know this may be too late for your travel plans, but I had to respond to

your inquiry about a protocol for the administration of wine. First let me

clear up a misconception that you seem to have. Bordeaux is a region in

France and not a specific varietal, vintage or cellar. Good Cabs, Merlots and

Chards all can come from Bordeaux or the Napa Valley. Now on to the Daae

Family Protocol.

1. Assess ABC's (Ample Bar Chairs)

2. If problem Identified with ABC's go directly to a booth

3. Hail a waiter or Somallia

4. Assess need for style points

4a. If no style points are needed, you may order a blush or rosé

4b. If minimal style points are needed, you may order a white (Consider

Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, or Pinot Grigio)

4c. If maximum style points are needed, select a bold red (Consider Cabernet,

Merlot, or Syrah)

5. After opening bottle of chosen libation, allow it to breath. It may be

necessary to assist with rescue breathing in the event of and older bottle.

5a. Do not smell the cork. (It smells like a cork and makes you look like a

idiot!)

6. Pour 30cc into appropriate receptacle

7. Consider the color and clarity of the libation

8. Assess the legs and the nose. (it will be necessary to swirl the libation

in the receptacle)

9. Take small sip and swish it in your mouth. (spit or swallow depending on

the situation (you may have to ask your SO for advice here))

10. Inhale with mouth slightly open so that the vapors can be fully

appreciated on the pallet.

11. If libation meets with approval, fill the receptacle to the brim and

enjoy.

Other considerations:

a. never take wine IV as this will negate 1/2 the euphoric experience

b. never drink wine alone as this will negate 1/4 the euphoric experience

c. never drink wine in a country and western or rock and roll club as this

will negate 100% of the euphoric experience (from getting your butt kicked

for being a wine drinker in the first place)

I hope this protocol will help you out. You may need to modify it to fit with

your local selection of wines though that should be as easy as tasting a few

to see what your staff will use.

Ken Daae