's brushings report

[Guest guest]

Well, I will begin this with the best news of all...I do not have

cancer! The cytology report showed changes, but no malignancy!

Yeah!!! The bad news is my pancreas is just about burned out. Doc

was to place stents in my PD and possible CBD but was unable to get a

stent in the PD as it had completely closed off. I guess that

explains the pain, huh? He also said that in 5-10% of patients with

chronic pancreatitis (which of course I have) the pancreas creates a

new duct/hole. (???) I still have not actually understood what this

means exactly. He said that he did a spincterotomy on my PD and CBD

and did some dialation in several areas. Things are certainly worse

that the last ERCP, especially in the left lobe. (THis is where the

lesion on my liver appeared on scan.) I had to remain in the

hospital through Mon. not for him to remove the stents, obviously,

but because I had pancreatitis. My lipase was 1728. Again, that

explains the pain, and of course the vomiting. He said that he

didn't think that the fact that my pancreas is about done, would

interfere with the possibility of tx but I will feel better hearing

that from the tx team. I did discover that they will not tx a

patient that was/is positive for CC.

The doc sent the reports to the tx team and they phoned me on Wed.

and want to see me bright and early on the 7th. I have a slew of

questions for them! I don't know how long it will take to find out

if they are actually going to list me.

I have some wonderful news that the entire group will appreciate.

One of these days I will give the long, incredible version of this

story, but for now I will keep it brief...A nurses aide has requested

that I get her more information about being a live liver donor. She

discovered that she is the same blood type as me and is seriously

considering being my donor. She said she would really like to do

this for me. Since our first conversation regarding tx she has

spoken to many, many people - friends, neighbors, etc. and she said

that there are several people who would now like information on being

donors. That if the risks involved are no more than they have found

on the internet and they can save someone else's life they see no

reason not to. From what she has told me I there are two people that

are very interested and are checking their blood types so they will

know, should the occasion arise. People have been astonished because

they were not even aware that live donor tx were even possible. Just

goes to show that we need a lot more public awareness! I will keep

you all posted on our efforts in St. Louis. , my potential

donor has been researching and asked that I get as much info as

possible on Wed. Works for me! Even if it turns out that I am not a

candidate because of the pancreas, or she ultimately decides that she

will not be my donor I have been very touched by the whole

experience! I suggested she read, read, read, pray, talk and think

hard before she makes her final decision.

I have a question regarding blood type, while I'm at this. Does the

Rh factor have to be the same in donor and recipient, or can say 0-

donate to 0+? Just curious.

Now, on a more personal note. It looks as if and I may be

seperating. Without getting into a lot of details, we are not filing

for divorce but need some time apart. Living under the same roof has

proved to be too much for me to endure through all of this. The

stress and strain of our marriage actually had me to the point that I

lost nearly all motivation to fight to live and that is not like

me!!! If I'm anything I'm a survivor. At that point I realized I

must do what it takes to relieve some stress in my life and find my

motivation. Making that decision and having a heart-to-heart with my

daughter well- I found it! I am getting stronger every day and know

that God will take care of me. We are on good terms and have agreed

that this is the greatest hope we have of salvaging this. Staying

together with the way things are would pretty well ensure we get

divorced. We have no time limit set on this, we just figure we'll

know one way or the other, when the time comes. He informed me 5 mo.

after we got married that he did not know if he loved me and wasn't

sure he should have married me. Not exactly the honeymoon phase I

was looking for. He seems pretty sure that he does now, but there

hasn't really been any change in the way things work around here and

there is so much water under the bridge I need time to sort through

it all and forgive. He has not hurt me with malicious intent, he

just isn't sure about anything in life. He needs to take time to

figure out who he is before he can be complete in a marriage. Only

time will tell, but God's in charge.

On a fun note... and I are going to take a trip to Venice. We

are hoping to travel in June, but want to make sure I have things

lined out with docs and stuff first. We will travel together, but

she will return after a week and I will stay for another. I have

been working on a book and hope to get a lot accomplished while I'm

there. If sitting on the Grand Canal can't inspire me, nothing can.

Sorry about the length of this post, but this is actually the short

version! :-)

Thanks to those who sent prayers on my behalf, it paid off!