The All Good Child

[Guest guest]

When I was little, I was the All Good child. I know most of us here have

been painted black. I am black as well at this point. But was anyone else

the 'good' child growing up? I think there are so many challenges there as

well.

I always heard about how I was 'so mature' and 'so grown up' even when I was

very small. I think that was nada's way of justifying all of the pressure

she put on me to be emotionally mature so that she could lean on me and have

me take care of her. I was expected to do so much around the house, have a

job, do everything to keep things calm and orderly in our home so that nada

would not rage. My father encouraged this. It created so much co dependency

in me, something I struggle with in relationships to this day. I'm getting

better though, I'm worlds away from where I used to be.

When I got into high school and it came closer to time for me to leave home

and assert my independence I was painted black, because I was no longer

going to be there for nada. I was abandoning her, in her eyes. She had

almost nothing to do with me until I had my own children, and she wanted to

suck them into her web. Now we are NC. Things are calmer.

Can anyone else relate to this?