what's real?

[Guest guest]

So lately I've been going through a bit of medical stress getting tests and

worry - it's looking like I'll be okay but it has been a scary time. During

this time it's as if my mother is auditioning for the Three Faces of Eve.

Sometimes she acts like she could care less and changes the subject to the

latest antics of her cat. Sometimes she'll act totally uninterested and then

at the end of the phone conversation suddenly want to know all about how I am,

what's going, what test is next with great intensity. Every now and then, and

this is the worst part, she'll actually act like a mother who gives a damn.

The third part is the worst because I so want it to be real and I may let my

guard down just to get devastated when the next time I talk to her she doesn't

care again. Then there's the saying of caring words of concern with all the

emotion of a bad actor reading a script which makes me want to scream " You're

LYING! " but that would be a rude thing to say when someone is acting concerned

for your health... All of this messes with my mind so much and I wish I'd

never told her word one about the whole crisis, but I really needed to know some

genetic history from her for my doctor. Let's just say next crisis I have I'm

telling as little as humanly possible.

So anybody else have a nada that acts like this? Do you just discount the

displays of caring as completely fake? How do you protect your inner child

from feeling jerked around like a puppet on a string?

Thanks all,