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Re: Un-Mother's Day/What are your nada anti-lessons?

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Here's what I've learned from my non-mom...

1 - Life is hard, but it can be fun too. It's what each of us makes of it.

2 - Know your boundaries & stick to them. Respect other people's boundaries.

3 - This is the only life we get, so life it with love, peace & happiness.

4 - Truely treat others the way you wish to be treated. Now, nada

used to say this a lot, but she never acted it. I feel that I do and

always will.

5 - Listen to people when they talk to you. Don't always assume what

they're saying is about you.

6 - In any given relationship, you can only be responsible for 50% of

it max. It's good to give in a relationship, but not if the other

person/s are not giving too.

7 - Do not tolerate abusive behavior. None of us deserve it.

Happy early un-mother's day! :-)

Justi

On Mon, May 4, 2009 at 7:20 AM, christine.depizan

wrote:

>

>

> Would any of you fellow KOs like to share some of the lessons you learned

> from nada about how NOT to be--or how TO BE better than the example she

> showed to you? As Mother's Day approaches,it might be good to have our own

> Un-Mother's Day as a way to honor ourselves and our survival and our

> strength--for although our experiences of being raised by a nada (and/or a

> fada) caused us to suffer terribly we have certainly also had to develop

> certain strengths of character that I think we should all be proud of and

> should celebrate.

>

> What are the anti-lessons you learned from your nada?

>

> Mine are:

>

> --You can't take it with you: not your beauty or your wealth,your charisma

> or your power...the only thing that goes with you to the grave and beyond

> are the ethics you lived by and the legacy of love you left behind.Someone

> might remember during their lifetime that you entranced and seduced them or

> recall with envy that you surpassed the es or that everyone in your

> social circle thought you were the bomb or that your social circle kowtowed

> to your power...but these people and these recollections pass away into

> nothingness...the only thing that will endure is the positive energy you

> gave to others who in turn gave it to others,passing along a cause and

> effect of love and good will...that is the only true legacy that any of us

> can leave,no matter how humble or how great the scale of our Earthly life

> might have been.

>

> Nada's core motivation was promotion of a false image she wanted others to

> believe and the preservation of a false self at the expense of others

> people's rights,including mine.I watched her blatantly lie and

> manipulate,act her way through life and never pass on a single genuine act

> of kindness.In her wake she leaves an emptiness,her own ego and endless

> needs and nothing,nothing that ever truly benefited anyone aside from

> herself and even there,not even that.

>

> I learned from her as an anti-lesson that the only thing any of us really

> own is our own values and that these are worth struggling for because

> without them we have neither a self nor a soul.

>

> Anyone else?

>

>

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