I need Help !

[Guest guest]

Hi girls,

Sorry that I didn't write anything for a while but I've been working hard

and my husband was sick and allot of other things happened during this last

week !I secretly had hoped for a friend that offered me to be my SM but her

husband was not sure about her doing this for me I hoped that they would

decide for a yes but they consulted with the parents of her husband and they

almost freaked out!!! yes there I go again ....I placed the ad in the

newspaper the 11 of Sep. ....the next day the whole tragedy happened and I

think everybody was to busy about the big tragedy that my ad didn't caught

their interest !! Nooo, who am I kidding I think nobody would of react on my

request anyway.....on this Island everybody thinks that I'm crazy I supposed

they'll say:

" Why don't you guys adopt ?? "

I've just ask my husband if we have to give up.......and be happy 2-gether

??? As I'm writing this... I'm crying my guts out because I don't want to

give up....I don't know what to do anymore !Well 2nd of Oct I have my Dr

appt and I want to ask him about the Balloon method ?

can anybody tell me how long will this operation take? Recovery time ?

Painful or not (not that I mind)and a ballpark figure of the cost of such an

operation ?

Please help me out of this hole.....You're the first one I've told about my

girlfriend not being my SM anymore I don't have the courage to tell my best

friend yet ! She so not want me to give up yet...but My husband said that we

could go for another operation(in the USA-Balloon) I really can't tell you

all what level I am of asherman or my measurement of my endometruim, is it

wise to ask my Dr for an U/S to measure it ? Do you have other Questions for

me to ask my Gyn. ???Please help me out.This is an cry for help ! A real CRY

!!!I feel better already now that I cried and write it all out ! Thank you

for just being there and reading my boring letters !

Kisses,

Margie

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[Guest guest]

Hi Margie,

I just read your e-mail. I am so sorry about your

friend who was going to be your SM. Talk to your

Doctor on October 2. I am now on my third doctor.

Thanks to the ladies who are members here. They are

so knowledgeable. I want you to know that I am

thinking of you and praying for you.

Carol Swanson

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[Guest guest]

Oh Margie,

I can so feel your pain... I too have felt this dark feeling of hopelessness..but don't give up hope yet. You are a fighter and you will win somehow. Are you and your husband really ready to come to the US? If at all possible this is your best option. I know it's expensive, but you will really be sure you have done everything at that point. I was told I was inoperable and I am now pregnant after I changed docs to an A list doc. Some of these doctors really can perform miracles.

Can you have an HSG or a sonohystogram done locally? If you did, you could send the films to an A list doctor here in the US and at least get a consultation over the phone? I know that Dr. March in Los Angeles and Dr. Indman in San Francisco does free consults over the phone. A consult from one of these docs would give you some direction at the very least. Another test to have done locally would be the CD 14-16 endometrial lining thickness. Can anyone around you do an ultrasound mid-cycle to at least see if they see bands of endometrium in your uterus?

I am just brain storming. I wish your friend's in laws were more open. Surrogacy is very much an evolutionary process of thinking...another words...almost everyone is against it in the beginning and then they have to come around in baby steps. Would it help if the parents would meet you and see that you have a real problem and that you need help?

Another possibility is surrogacy here in the US, unfortunately it is much easier to get one if you pay money. And it is expensive. I have seen many couples find compassionate surrogates by advertising on the internet. I don't know the resources anymore, but somehow they manage to find them.

The last thought I have is too pursure adoption as you are moving forward with getting your own uterus back to normal with an A list doctor here in the US. At least this way you may be working on 2 alternatives at once with the hopes that at least one will work for you. I know how every cell of your body wants your own child, i have felt this too and it kept me going. But, I think that by pursuing the adoption alternative you may open yourself up to other possibilities while you are still pursuing your dreams for your own biological child. And it's easier to start the adoption process if you feel like you haven't given up hope on your own child, but that you are pursuing both options at once. Who knows, maybe both could work and you get 2 children?

I know how terribly devasting it must be to feel like there is no hope because of where you live...it seems so terribly unfair doesn't it? I hope that you are able to get some tests done and send the films to a few A list docs and get their opinion. If this is an option for you, then I am sure that we can help you with lodging at one of these places here in the US. At least you would have a free place to stay. Airfares may be cheap now that they are trying to stimulate people travelling again and the cost of the surgery? Well, you may want to ask if the docs have any payment plans or something of this nature.

Margie, it's too soon to give up hope yet. You don't even know what's going on inside of you yet. It may be that you have a straight forward case and could be fixed by an A list doc. I am really hoping this is true for you. Take good care and let us know what you decide.

[Guest guest]

Oh Margie! I am so sorry to hear you so down, so sad. Believe me I

can understand how you feel....very disappointing that your

friend " backed-out " of being your surrogate. So very sad that people

aren't a bit more open-minded there!

So your husband said you could travel to the U.S. for surgery? If

that really is an option I would JUMP ON IT! There are a number of

good doctors here in the U.S. on our " A " list that might be able to

help. Chicago, New York, California....let us know if you are serious

about that and we will help in any way we can!

As for your doctor there in Curacao....I think it would really be

great if you could convince him to work with a doctor in the U.S.

Maybe Dr. Indman or Valle would be willing to give him " phone advice "

about how to proceed with your case...could explain the use of the

balloon catheter....could talk to him about treatment options? What

do you think?

As for adoption...have you ruled that out as an option? It really is

a wonderful way to add children to your life. As I've heard many

others say, the only difference is that your child grows in your

heart instead of your belly. We were actively investigating adoption

ourselves when my first doctor told me I had no hope....are you open

to this at all? Or just not ready to consider that yet?

Hang in there please...keep your chin up, we are all here for you.

There is a light at the end of this tunnel Margie, I promise....and

we'll help you find it!

Gwen

[Guest guest]

Margie, I too, know the feelings you are having. I'm new to the group, but

have already learned so much from these smart people here. I would not give

up yet, you have so many options. I have read the other posts from people,

they are full of smart, wise options (USA trip, USA SM, consult with another

doctor, etc). Please know that you are not crazy, but you have to be strong

and keep trying. Last week I underwent my fourth surgery, and I know it's

hard to stay positive, but it's the only thing we have some days, you know?

Please know that I am thinking of you, Carol Anne