New to group-- Could really use someone who understands.

May 5, 2009

Hi everyone and anyone,

I'm new here I heard about the group in the book Stop walking on eggshells. I

don't even know where to start. can I just say HELP!!!!!

I am an adult ONLY Child of a mother who I believe has BPD. I reah the pages on

Markham's Behavioral Health my mom fits the waif,queen and the witch. ahhh ok so

the immediate problem. My Step-Dad recently died of cancer. My moom is very over

come with grief and it has triggered alot of issues.(my mom is still young (56)

and unfortunatley this is my 2nd Step-Dad to die of cancer.) She divorced my

real father because he was an abusive alcoholic (he also died 11yrs ago)Yes

yikes! I am 38 and have lost 3 dads so I'm done with father figures in my life.

Both of my Step Dads were wonderful men who somehow loved my mother. they both

had a ton of patients and wished that she would " chill " . My mom is convinced now

that my husband is controlling me and I am sheltering him. My husband left the

calling hours at the funeral home and did not come to moms house after the

funeral for a few reasons. Well it sent her into a rage and she called his

friends and family and told them in a " not so plesant " way that he was a no good

lousy human being. then told me she was going to beat him with a baseball bat. I

was concerned yet I knew she was at home and I have never seen her leave the

house in these rages. since then I needless to say have had many discussions,

arguments and tears with both of them. It feels as though she wants me to

herself. She wont seem to accept a relationship with me and my children and me

remain married. she is always making comments about how she can't call me or

talk to me.The thing my husband has said about most of this is the she isn't

welcome at our home due to her rage of phone calls and threats and I am

respecting that. I have have always dropped everything and gone to her when she

calls or needs anything. After this last bout I have had enough. Family has

talked for years about how my mom needs help but NOONE has been willing to stand

up and try to stop/help her. So here I am. Childhood was hard enough but she

wont let go and let me be an adult and she has a wonderful way of making me feel

like shit if I don't do what she wants. I hope this is making some sense. I have

been reading alot since the funeral trying to figure all this out. I just need

some feedback from someone elae that may have experienced something similar to

all this. Thanks for listening.

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