RE: VENT _ If I hear .......

[Guest guest]

(((MARYELLEN))) Let it all out dear. You are on the right list. Amie

VENT _ If I hear .......

One more time:

" Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

" He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

Great, I have a diagnosis. My kid is neurologically impaired, I have no

idea if he'll ever talk, be potty trained, or live on his own, but yes, I'm

jumping for joy at the diagnosis. He sees a Target store, or a light up

high, and he points and yells " UHH! " YEAH!! We have a diagnosis.

And the other one:

AWESOME!!! My kid went to Chuck E. Cheese today for his 3rd birthday and

spent the time running around, looking at all the pretty lights, climbing on

the skeeball games, stealing other peoples drinks, and spilling salt

shakers, not to mention climbing from one booth to another to get at someone

else's drink and avoiding other people. He could care less about PLAYING

the games, eating, or getting tokens, but HEY, he's not as bad as I think he

is. He'll be FINE!!

We sign up for a Christmas gift exchange on another list I'm on, and I have

to request that they get him toys that are for children younger than 3

because he still chews on everything, BUT, HEY, we got a diagnosis!! LET'S

PARTY!!!!!!!

ellen

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[Guest guest]

> One more time:

>

> " Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

> " He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

>

> I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

I understand. I really do.

I'm sure you know people don't know what to say or how to react, and they're

trying to be positive and say the 'right' things.

But that doesn't help YOU, does it?

If they don't live with it, *they just don't get it* and it is a very large

PITA trying to deal with them. Even the ones who try and read and listen

and do everything you could ever ask them to do - these things will come out

of their mouths and you just want to slap them and say, " WHAT PLANET ARE YOU

FROM??? "

> Great, I have a diagnosis. My kid is neurologically impaired, I have no

> idea if he'll ever talk, be potty trained, or live on his own,

> but yes, I'm

> jumping for joy at the diagnosis. He sees a Target store, or a light up

> high, and he points and yells " UHH! " YEAH!! We have a diagnosis.

One of the things that helped me was trying to remember that the diagnosis

did not change my son. He was the same person the day before and he was the

same person the day of and he was the same person the day after. WE were

the ones who changed - not him.

I don't think about the future very often...at least not beyond the next

month or so.

> And the other one:

> AWESOME!!! My kid went to Chuck E. Cheese today for his 3rd birthday and

> spent the time running around, looking at all the pretty lights,

> climbing on

> the skeeball games, stealing other peoples drinks, and spilling salt

> shakers, not to mention climbing from one booth to another to get

> at someone

> else's drink and avoiding other people. He could care less about PLAYING

> the games, eating, or getting tokens

If it helps, you're describing Mikey to a T. I know how hard it is. I know

about the looks and the stares and the rude comments and the not knowing

what to say when he does something totally inappropriate. I know the

feeling of being surrounded by people but being completely and totally

isolated at the same time.

> We sign up for a Christmas gift exchange on another list I'm on,

> and I have

> to request that they get him toys that are for children younger than 3

> because he still chews on everything, BUT, HEY, we got a

> diagnosis!! LET'S

> PARTY!!!!!!!

For 's birthday in September we had to request presents that couldn't

be eaten. It didn't matter; he ate the letters of his wooden alphabet

puzzle and he ate the stickers off the train whistle and he ate the

wrapping paper the presents came in. So, yeah, I know about this too. It

SUCKS.

{{{{{ellen}}}}}

Come vent anytime. Lots of us are going or have gone through the same

things.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

I found a t-shirt on line somewhere that said " I have autism, what's your

excuse? " Would that help any? At least make people feel like crap for being

rude?

I know how you feel, I get the same crap constantly.

People think it is normal that they can't understand my four year when she

talks. Then again, they probably think she is younger that what she is because

she is so small. I won't even get into the stuff that we have put up with

Savannah in public. I have drug her out of resturants because of her behaviour

and people are like " All the kids are so well behaved " . I just want to smack

people. Tell people she is autistic and try to explain it and I get " Oh, all

kids do that, that is normal kid stuff " . So, it is normal to have a child throw

a tantrum and rip doors off of walls? Yea....

The bottom line is, people are stupid. I think most people for the most part

are really self-absorbed and they don't get anything out of their own little

world. This is why they don't want the information that we have to give. They

don't care because it isn't part of the little world that they have built for

themselves. And there is always the " ignore everything that is different and

you can't deal with and it will go away or not affect you " mentality.

I want to scream for you. I really do!

Georga

Your purchase of Usborne Books will help the Marine Corps and Toys for Tots.

Please visit www.ubah.com/BF11768

VENT _ If I hear .......

One more time:

" Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

" He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

Great, I have a diagnosis. My kid is neurologically impaired, I have no

idea if he'll ever talk, be potty trained, or live on his own, but yes, I'm

jumping for joy at the diagnosis. He sees a Target store, or a light up

high, and he points and yells " UHH! " YEAH!! We have a diagnosis.

And the other one:

AWESOME!!! My kid went to Chuck E. Cheese today for his 3rd birthday and

spent the time running around, looking at all the pretty lights, climbing on

the skeeball games, stealing other peoples drinks, and spilling salt

shakers, not to mention climbing from one booth to another to get at someone

else's drink and avoiding other people. He could care less about PLAYING

the games, eating, or getting tokens, but HEY, he's not as bad as I think he

is. He'll be FINE!!

We sign up for a Christmas gift exchange on another list I'm on, and I have

to request that they get him toys that are for children younger than 3

because he still chews on everything, BUT, HEY, we got a diagnosis!! LET'S

PARTY!!!!!!!

ellen

---

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[Guest guest]

> Great, I have a diagnosis. My kid is neurologically impaired, I have no

> idea if he'll ever talk, be potty trained, or live on his own, but yes,

I'm

> jumping for joy at the diagnosis. He sees a Target store, or a light up

> high, and he points and yells " UHH! " YEAH!! We have a diagnosis.

The diagnosis is great as a tool to get funding and programs. Otherwise, at

the beginning, it's just a big blinking neon sign that screams " different! "

>

> " He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

That has GOT to be THE WORST thing to hear. And then it FORCES you to list

off all his autistic traits for the person AGAIN, which is just horrible for

your own morale. because who the hell wants to spend their time CONVINCING

other people there's something wrong with her kid???

They think they're being supportive, but they're being more harmful than

they could possibly ever imagine. YOU need their SUPPORT, and you're

spending your time convincing them.

The only things you can do are give them all the things you've read that

describe him, and if possible, let them take care of him for a few days in a

row. Of course, if they're like my ILs, they'll not see. But I got lucky

with my mom. One year after 's dx, I fell downt he stairs and broke

both my tibia and fibula in half. I had to stay in bed for 8 weeks, so my

mom moved in to take care of me and my family. After two solid months with

, she became my biggest support -- because now she KNEW. Could you

arrange a major injury? :-)

It takes other people a long time to get it, ellen. But WE get it.

Vent as much as you want.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Responding to my own post, because I received so many wonderful, supportive

posts.

Thank you all. It means a lot to know that other people understand. :-)

I'm going to Wal-Mart today to get a couple white t-shirts, and I'm going to

make a couple autism ones for him. :-)

Thanks again, Guess we all have these days once in a while. Guess it didn't

help that I forgot to take MY medication yesterday, on his birthday. Pretty

dumb! 10 lashes with a wet noodle for me.

ellen

VENT _ If I hear .......

One more time:

" Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

" He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

Great, I have a diagnosis. My kid is neurologically impaired, I have no

idea if he'll ever talk, be potty trained, or live on his own, but yes,

I'm

jumping for joy at the diagnosis. He sees a Target store, or a light up

high, and he points and yells " UHH! " YEAH!! We have a diagnosis.

And the other one:

AWESOME!!! My kid went to Chuck E. Cheese today for his 3rd birthday and

spent the time running around, looking at all the pretty lights, climbing

on

the skeeball games, stealing other peoples drinks, and spilling salt

shakers, not to mention climbing from one booth to another to get at

someone

else's drink and avoiding other people. He could care less about PLAYING

the games, eating, or getting tokens, but HEY, he's not as bad as I think

he

is. He'll be FINE!!

We sign up for a Christmas gift exchange on another list I'm on, and I

have

to request that they get him toys that are for children younger than 3

because he still chews on everything, BUT, HEY, we got a diagnosis!!

LET'S

PARTY!!!!!!!

ellen

---

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Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

Version: 6.0.408 / Virus Database: 230 - Release Date: 10/24/2002

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>

" Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

" He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I hear ya, hon. Most people try very hard to say something positive, but they

don't realize everyone else is saying the same thing. You're just starting an

incredible journey, and it will be hard sometimes, but we'll be there with you.

Scream here anytime you want.

Tuna

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[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>> " He's not really as bad off as you think he is. " >>>>>>>>>

My response to this one was always

" No one knows my son better than I do. NO ONE. "

Trust your gut.

Tuna

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[Guest guest]

Do you drink coffee?

We should share war stories sometime ....

{{{ellen}}}

Penny

VENT _ If I hear .......

One more time:

" Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

" He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Hehehe, coffee and wine coolers keep me going! :-) I would like to meet up

some time. Maybe after Matt gets settled in school, or at a fenced in park

somewhere. (otherwise I'd be chasing him everywhere!) LOL!

ellen

VENT _ If I hear .......

One more time:

" Well, at least now you have a diagnosis to work with. " or

" He's not really as bad off as you think he is. "

I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!