Evil vs brain-damage (Re: choice--annie)

[Guest guest]

This topic always interests me, whenever it comes up on here. I think that my

nada is mentally ill, quite severely so, but also evil. Mentally ill in that

she really does " see things differently " and sees herself as a lifelong victim.

She WAS a victim of pretty severe abuse and neglect in her own FOO - I believe

that. However, when she married my F, she married a wonderful man, who, unlike

her FOO, was a non-drinker, had a good heart, and I think just wanted to have a

family and be loved after surviving a war-injury in Korea. Nada hated him and

was emotionally abusive to him. She thought she was too good for him. In

actuality, she was threatened by his family, who were just good country people,

with clean houses and blue collar jobs. Nada wanted to have children, then was

horrified when we didn't look like the beautiful babies she'd envisioned. She

did not want to be bothered with feeding and caring for us, and became very

abusive to us - verbally, physically, emotionally, from a very young age. F did

everything for us and for her, yet she hated and belittled him all the time.

There were episodes of rage, when one of us would ask her to stop, or try to

impress upon her that this abuse would ruin any chance of good relationships in

the future. There were times when she would say something, or do something

violent, and I could see that she COULD have stopped, walked away, etc. But she

chose to continue.

I saw her in the midst of making choices to be evil, on multiple occasions.

She NEVER once sought help for her behavior.

When I was younger, and in therapy, I had several therapists who said that " she

did the best she could at the time. " I didn't believe it then, and I don't

believe it now. She could have asked for help. She could have stopped prior to

becoming violent, or she could have left us.

She continues to see the overall history of her victimhood - that her family

(daughters) were so horrible to her.

She's mad now b/c we don't visit for Easter. Why would we?

Joanna

" I don't think the only two choices are evil or a

> >biological cause. " But I'm not clear on what you are saying

> >the cause is, if its not either of those. Would you explain;

> >I'm interested to explore other possibilities.

> >

> >-Annie

>

> --

> Katrina

>