Guest guest Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 Hi Kendra, I'm so sorry that your pediatrician brushed off your concerns about your daughter's headshape and head position. I had the same experience with my own daughter, Remy, with our ped... she was born with brachy, and developed plagio on top of that after birth, but week after week, month after month, my pediatrician not only told me not to worry, but provided absolutely no advice on how to counter- position. What a disappointment! What I did at the time was print out the AAP's July 2003 release on Plagiocephaly diagnosis and treatment. It's available here at our group site in the links/AAP folder if you'd like a copy. I highlighted the portions of the release that mentioned how the ped is supposed to inspect the headshape at each well visit, counsel new parents on how to prevent headshape problems, and how a referral for banding is appropriate in repo-recaltrant cases. I made a bunch of copies and toted them up to my ped's office and demanded that they read, review, and educate everyone in the practice. Other parents here have done much more to educate their peds - just check out the files/help folder/handouts. I love these handouts since they are so educational and not off-putting or frightening to new parents who may be facing the plagio issue. Some peds have agreed to make handouts available; some moms even got these types of handouts put in the new parents bag at the maternity ward of their hospitals. There are some great ideas there! I recently had a new baby and was very pleasantly surprised that my ped. at Gunner's very first visit gave me a shy smile and said, " I know that you're already repositioning, but I do need to cover this new information with you... " and she launched into a spiel about watching the headshape, tummy time, and how to reposition your baby. It was refreshing, and I hope other new parents are now getting the message! Please keep us posted on how your daughter's appts. at CT go. When do you think she'll be casted for her DOCband? Take care, Christie (Mom to Repo'd Remy) > > Hi, > I haven't posted in a few weeks because I was waiting for an official > diagnosis for my 10 month old daughter. I took her to CT this past > Wednesday and she was diagnosed with severe moderate plagio and > moderate tort. I am going back to my pediatrician on Tues and asking > him to write me a presciption for the doc band and a letter of > medical necessity. I am also asking for a prescription for PT. > > Many people in my family are upset that the pediatricians did not > catch this. I am also upset as I had asked several questions about > her head and about the fact that she would not turn her head to the > left much when she was younger. I now look back at her baby pictures > and you can see the head flopping to the left in many of her pics. > > I guess my questions are: did any of you let your pediatricians know > that you were disappointed in them, and if so, how did you go about > doing that? > > I really want to concentrate my efforts in getting my daughter's head > round and her tight neck muscles strong and loose, but I don't want > to see what happened to a happen to another baby. > > Any opinions would be appreciated. > > Thanks, > Kendra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 Hi Kendra, I went through the same things with my ped group and when my son was 12months I left them. I told them why and gave them literature from the AAP and AAFP that tells physicians to check for plagio and tort prior to babies being two months old. I hope that since I've left they have started abiding by those policies. Good luck to you! Natasha > > Hi, > I haven't posted in a few weeks because I was waiting for an official > diagnosis for my 10 month old daughter. I took her to CT this past > Wednesday and she was diagnosed with severe moderate plagio and > moderate tort. I am going back to my pediatrician on Tues and asking > him to write me a presciption for the doc band and a letter of > medical necessity. I am also asking for a prescription for PT. > > Many people in my family are upset that the pediatricians did not > catch this. I am also upset as I had asked several questions about > her head and about the fact that she would not turn her head to the > left much when she was younger. I now look back at her baby pictures > and you can see the head flopping to the left in many of her pics. > > I guess my questions are: did any of you let your pediatricians know > that you were disappointed in them, and if so, how did you go about > doing that? > > I really want to concentrate my efforts in getting my daughter's head > round and her tight neck muscles strong and loose, but I don't want > to see what happened to a happen to another baby. > > Any opinions would be appreciated. > > Thanks, > Kendra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2004 Report Share Posted October 30, 2004 Thanks for posting this information. I'm new to the group as well, also waiting for an official diagnosis. I've had to fight my ped to get referrals to specialists in order to get a diagnosis made so I can start treatment. When my son was younger I asked my ped about his flat spot as well, and he shrugged me off. I finally educated myself on the internet and quickly realized my son needs a helmet. I had to really push the issue; the ped never so much as looked in the direction of my son's head. I finally have my referral now, however, and so will hopefully have in a helmet before too much more time passes. Thanks to all for the great information and support you provide. In the short time since I've joined, I've found this group to be invaluable. Chrissy in VA mom to , 7 1/2 months, plagio & tort (and hopefully getting banded soon!) > > Hi Kendra, > I went through the same things with my ped group and when my son was > 12months I left them. I told them why and gave them literature from > the AAP and AAFP that tells physicians to check for plagio and tort > prior to babies being two months old. I hope that since I've left > they have started abiding by those policies. Good luck to you! > Natasha > --- In Plagiocephaly , " Kendra " <kjhilty@v...> wrote: > > > > Hi, > > I haven't posted in a few weeks because I was waiting for an > official > > diagnosis for my 10 month old daughter. I took her to CT this past > > Wednesday and she was diagnosed with severe moderate plagio and > > moderate tort. I am going back to my pediatrician on Tues and > asking > > him to write me a presciption for the doc band and a letter of > > medical necessity. I am also asking for a prescription for PT. > > > > Many people in my family are upset that the pediatricians did not > > catch this. I am also upset as I had asked several questions about > > her head and about the fact that she would not turn her head to > the > > left much when she was younger. I now look back at her baby > pictures > > and you can see the head flopping to the left in many of her pics. > > > > I guess my questions are: did any of you let your pediatricians > know > > that you were disappointed in them, and if so, how did you go > about > > doing that? > > > > I really want to concentrate my efforts in getting my daughter's > head > > round and her tight neck muscles strong and loose, but I don't > want > > to see what happened to a happen to another baby. > > > > Any opinions would be appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Kendra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2004 Report Share Posted November 1, 2004 Hi Kendra, I am angry at our peds too and still wish I did more. I gave one of them some articles (including the AAP paper that Christie mentioned) but I want to send it to ALL of the partners in the practice (6 or 7). It's good that you are moving forward and taking care of this. She is still young enough to see correction so just try to stay focused on the positive. I hope the plagio petition to the AAP helps too. Get everyone you know to sign it! Sue Colin F., 13 mos. STARband grad 9/04 brachy > > Hi, > I haven't posted in a few weeks because I was waiting for an official > diagnosis for my 10 month old daughter. I took her to CT this past > Wednesday and she was diagnosed with severe moderate plagio and > moderate tort. I am going back to my pediatrician on Tues and asking > him to write me a presciption for the doc band and a letter of > medical necessity. I am also asking for a prescription for PT. > > Many people in my family are upset that the pediatricians did not > catch this. I am also upset as I had asked several questions about > her head and about the fact that she would not turn her head to the > left much when she was younger. I now look back at her baby pictures > and you can see the head flopping to the left in many of her pics. > > I guess my questions are: did any of you let your pediatricians know > that you were disappointed in them, and if so, how did you go about > doing that? > > I really want to concentrate my efforts in getting my daughter's head > round and her tight neck muscles strong and loose, but I don't want > to see what happened to a happen to another baby. > > Any opinions would be appreciated. > > Thanks, > Kendra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 The diagnosis has not helped me to recieve services educationaly ot via the system for services. They don't know what it is.joe <spaceplayer2112@...> wrote: Is there any benefit to being offically diagnosed with Aspergers?I was also wondering if anyone has had trouble as an adult coming toterms with this. I recently tried to broach the subject with mymother, who immediately closed down. I brought it up because ofcomments that she's made about me, like that she didn't think I wasgay (I am) but asexual, or that I remind her of Good Will Hunting,(too smart but underemployed), or comments growing up...I asked herabout when I was younger, she always said I walked funny (my words,she said it a slightly meaner way). I asked her recently what shemeant by that, and she said that I walked funny, and laughed. Sheasked why I thought of that, and I started to mention Aspergers, andshe snapped " You don't have it," stating that she knows someone witha child who has it and I don't match. End of story. This is the samemother who never believed me when I was sick, and accused me of lyingto get out of school. I don't think getting a diagnosis is necessary in itself, but thinkthat it might get people to understand that I am not making this up,just to understand me, instead of trying to change me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Joe, Your mother obviously doesn't want to accept anything about you. Or else she is not prepared to accept your AS and sexuality yet. Getting a diagnosis to PROVE you have Asperger Syndrome would be rather pointless as it would only make her resentful. She doesn't want to be FORCED to accept anything she is not yet prepared to accept. You know who you are and that ought to be good enough in terms of feeling good about your identity. As you said, you want her to understand you. If you think about this logically, that is a tall order. No one can get inside your mind completely. The emptiness you may feel due to the disconnect with your mother is certainly understandable, but you CANNOT expect your mom to begin to understand you until she first accepts you unconditionally, and she is a far ways away from doing that. Another alternative is to continue to seek out support amomg those of us in the AS community, grow your confidence in yourself. By so doing, I think that your mother's acceptance, understanding, and opinion of you will not matter as much. It will still matter -no son wants to be disconnected from his parents- but YOU will be able to accept your mom's stubbornness better, at least, and possible that understanding will lead to letting things lie between you two. Tom Is there any benefit to being offically diagnosed with Aspergers? I was also wondering if anyone has had trouble as an adult coming to terms with this. I recently tried to broach the subject with my mother, who immediately closed down. I brought it up because of comments that she's made about me, like that she didn't think I was gay (I am) but asexual, or that I remind her of Good Will Hunting, (too smart but underemployed), or comments growing up...I asked her about when I was younger, she always said I walked funny (my words, she said it a slightly meaner way). I asked her recently what she meant by that, and she said that I walked funny, and laughed. She asked why I thought of that, and I started to mention Aspergers, and she snapped " You don't have it, " stating that she knows someone with a child who has it and I don't match. End of story. This is the same mother who never believed me when I was sick, and accused me of lying to get out of school. I don't think getting a diagnosis is necessary in itself, but think that it might get people to understand that I am not making this up, just to understand me, instead of trying to change me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 This does make sense, Tom, thank you. (BTW, I am out, and oddly enough, my mom was accepting of the fact that I am gay, she said she always knew...lol...but not because I am effeminate or stereotypical, but because I was quiet when I got to that age! I just didn't, and still don't, talk about sex or make a display out of it, even if I was straight, I'd still be quiet about it.) I think what really bugs me is the fact that others have questioned me as far as my mind, but when I try to get a handle on things, I get hassled for it. And I am expected to be the strong one in the family because everyone else has got problems. I think THAT is the crux of the matter. > > Is there any benefit to being offically diagnosed with Aspergers? > I was also wondering if anyone has had trouble as an adult coming to > terms with this. I recently tried to broach the subject with my > mother, who immediately closed down. I brought it up because of > comments that she's made about me, like that she didn't think I was > gay (I am) but asexual, or that I remind her of Good Will Hunting, > (too smart but underemployed), or comments growing up...I asked her > about when I was younger, she always said I walked funny (my words, > she said it a slightly meaner way). I asked her recently what she > meant by that, and she said that I walked funny, and laughed. She > asked why I thought of that, and I started to mention Aspergers, and > she snapped " You don't have it, " stating that she knows someone with > a child who has it and I don't match. End of story. This is the same > mother who never believed me when I was sick, and accused me of lying > to get out of school. > > I don't think getting a diagnosis is necessary in itself, but think > that it might get people to understand that I am not making this up, > just to understand me, instead of trying to change me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Tom, you wrote " As for telling anyone else besides her, you have to be careful. Most people don't know what AS is and some may treat you as though you have some kind of disease, or as though they expect you to pick something up and throw it, or go off on a rampage or soemething. " THIS is the main reason why I am seeking help. I have a history of losing my temper, since grade school and continuing into adulthood. I used to justify it because I really thought I was right and the world was full of idiots, and usually I can control it. The problem comes full force at work, when dealing with the public and employees. I've got a great work record, except for outbursts. When I work alone, I am fine. If I can control my situation, I am fine. If too much happens or too much stimulation (too many people talking at once, or people not following the rules) I have gone off and sometimes have even walked out. After leaving Tower I've left at least 6 jobs in a year before finding something bearable. And it's starting again. Now at least I know what to do about it, but it's hard to explain to employers without resorting to subterfuge. > > I'd imagine that it wouldn't help for services, since it's hard to > call it a disability. (Personally, that's not what I am looking for, I > consider myself Objectivist/Libertarian minded, and couldn't justify > taking tax payer money.) > > I guess I'm asking because anytime I bring up the subject, the first > thing I am asked is if I have been officially diagnosed. Like it > matters. If I am sneezing and coughing, do I need a doctor's note > stating that I have a cold? But just trying to determine if I > really need an official diagnosis because I would like to get an > objective evaluation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 > Is there any benefit to being offically diagnosed with Aspergers? Because my mother will react much like yours when she finds out I have Asperger's, having an authority figure's signature that I'm telling the truth will help minimize the degree of cruelty in her comments about it. If I said I was self diagnosed, she'd say, as my X said, " Oh, that's just an excuse for _______________. " Also, if your mother is like mine, then she will somehow blame herself or think others will blame her for your condition. Makes no sense to me, but that's how my mother will react. Also, if she thinks about it too much, she'll have to come to the realization she was abusive towards a " handicapped " individual. Not that that will bother her, personally, too much, but it will upset her because others might put 2 and 2 together and realize she'd been abusive to a " handicapped " individual. Lizzie http://pg.photos./ph/chain3turn/my_photos http://www.livejournal.com/users/samplerlady/ http://literarylady.blogspot.com/ " To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. " ph Chilton Pierce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 > > because I really thought I was right and the world > was full of idiots, Aren't you and isn't it???? ))) That's how I've always felt, too! Lizzie http://pg.photos./ph/chain3turn/my_photos http://www.livejournal.com/users/samplerlady/ http://literarylady.blogspot.com/ " To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. " ph Chilton Pierce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Well, it can be great to find a group of people alike and keep telling how different we all are from the nt´s etc. But if you were a family of three aspies living together you would notice that you still cannot understand that better the aspiens from the non aspies, and amongst the aspiens you still have problems understanding each other, maybe even more than with non aspies sometimes. Not all of us have same qualities, and same way of viewing the world. Since aspiety is such a broad thing, I have not yet found people exactly like me. So, I think being amongst aspies helps us understand each other only if we want to keep all talks on the mental, curiosity level. I think 'to relate' is hard with aspies as it is with non aspies...or it can be easy, then where is love and understanding, with whichever group. I disagree on the any of the groups being of idiots. I think each person is smart in a unique way. Marilia Re: Official Diagnosis > > because I really thought I was right and the world> was full of idiots, Aren't you and isn't it???? ))) That's how I've always felt, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 > I automated it and put it on my site, check it out: > http://www.MDLies.com/AQ So what is the highest one can score on this test? I scored 42. > The best part about finding out about Asperger's is that it > helps explain a lot of my own behavior. Exactly! And to stop feeling guilty because of some of the behaviors. Also, it helps to have family members point it out to me now, so I can begin to try to curb some of the behaviors. And now they can help me in social situations. When I have to walk out abrubtly or change my mind about going to a party at the last minute, they can explain to the hostess. I don't feel I have to " suffer through it " anymore, especially if it begins producing more and more anxiety that causes me to feel cornered and then react " really " rudely! Lizzie http://pg.photos./ph/chain3turn/my_photos http://www.livejournal.com/users/samplerlady/ http://literarylady.blogspot.com/ " To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. " ph Chilton Pierce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Hey Dan, All too true. I too have been recently diagnosed and it was like a veil of confusion being lifted. I know now that I am not a basket case who seems to be interested in topics that no one else is. There is a drawback however. My wife knows too, now when we have arguments, she never ceases to slip in that I have a mental illness. I have researched Asperger, she has not. I am uplifted by our "gifts" and intend to use it like yourself. She, cause of lack of interest, calls me retarded. I will be leaving my wife soon. Shaun.mdlies <dan@...> wrote: I became a self-diagnosed "Aspie" at age 35 (May 2005) and had thesame question. I stumbled across the Asperger's topic and took theWired AQ test. I automated it and put it on my site, check it out:http://www.MDLies.com/AQ I thought if I could get an official diagnosis, then everyone wouldunderstand me. I quickly gave up the idea of getting an officialdiagnosis. The best part about finding out about Asperger's is that ithelps explain a lot of my own behavior. I look forward to using it tomy advantage (capitalize on some of the traits and avoid situationsthat stress me out).I think the best thing you did was to join this group. I find it veryhelpful to hang out with like-minded people.Dan> Is there any benefit to being offically diagnosed with Aspergers?> I was also wondering if anyone has had trouble as an adult comingto> terms with this. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 > She, cause of lack of interest, calls me retarded. I will be leaving > my wife soon. So sorry this is happening to you. My XBF used to call me psycho all the time. Funny thing, the more I read about AS, the more I can see he is, too. I think he recognized himself in me, thought I was psycho so therefore, logically...... Lizzie http://pg.photos./ph/chain3turn/my_photos http://www.livejournal.com/users/samplerlady/ http://literarylady.blogspot.com/ " To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. " ph Chilton Pierce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Joe, " THIS is the main reason why I am seeking help. I have a history of losing my temper, since grade school and continuing into adulthood. I used to justify it because I really thought I was right and the world was full of idiots, and usually I can control it. " Well, the world is full of idiots, and you are right. I don't see your problem. " The problem comes full force at work, when dealing with the public and employees. I've got a great work record, except for outbursts. When I work alone, I am fine. If I can control my situation, I am fine. If too much happens or too much stimulation (too many people talking at once, or people not following the rules) I have gone off and sometimes have even walked out. " I also quit one of my jobs. One day I just upped and walked out. I had been getting therapy though and what my therapist told me was I was too smart and too talented to be working with the people I was working with. I need to find a job that suited my skills, abilities, and needs. I had no new job lined up when I quit the old one, but the person at the temp agency was thorough in her evaluation of me. I had quit a bookkeeping supervising job and she asked me what sort of new job I'd like. I told her I'd like a job supervising people in a bookkeeping department in another bank. She said I wouldn't have quit the old job if that was the case. She asked me what I liked to do and I told her writing, drawing, artwork, working with databases. Now I am an administrative assistant and receptionist who's primary job is well-based research, data-entry, drafting documents, etc. It's very relaxing and, except for the people, I am quite pleased with my job. There IS a higher standard of quality here and I do feel my work is appreciated. I think you may wish to go into a temp agency or employment agency under the pretense of looking for a new job and get evaluated for what sort of job you are really best for. Then switch careers. Take a pay cut if you have to. Simply being in the position you are must happy with and cut off for reduces stress levels a lot. Tom After leaving Tower I've left at least 6 jobs in a year before finding something bearable. And it's starting again. Now at least I know what to do about it, but it's hard to explain to employers without resorting to subterfuge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Joe, Because Aspies APPEAR unemotional and/or dispassionate during certain crisis situations, people tend to gravitate toward them during those particular times. What people want during times of strife is someone more steadfast than they are that they can go to and unload on. The problem is, the sort of stuff that throws US for a loop tends to be dismissed as being unimportant by those we sometimes find ourselves comforting. Tom I think what really bugs me is the fact that others have questioned me as far as my mind, but when I try to get a handle on things, I get hassled for it. And I am expected to be the strong one in the family because everyone else has got problems. I think THAT is the crux of the matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Money in itself isn't a bad thing. In fact it is probably the most useful tool humanity has ever created. I mean can you imagine trying to find something to barter for a new computer? The problem comes primarily from a small number of greedy people. Now, a certain amount of greed is not a bad thing. It is what motivates business and for people to do their best at work. However, it can be taken to extremes, like those CEOs who get $100 million for running a company into the ground, or real estate speculators who are driving home prices out of reach of many. Those latter things could stand to be reigned in a bit, and should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 My mother has trouble with me DX too, also because I always seemed and still seem so normal. its the devil trying to convince her otherwise so I have for the most part stopped trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Shaun. I agree that there must be a balance between capitalism and socialism, though I prefer much more in favor or the capitalist side. Actually most of them have been caught by their greed, but not in the way you seem to imply. Few actually made any money in the markets or anything like that because they were all busy spending it all and getting into debt so they could spend even more. A lot of this was, I think, because they believe Social Security would be there for them, meaning people in the US. However, Social Security was not meant to be the end all be all of retirement. It was meant to provide a minimum level of support. These generations seemed to think SS was going to keep them at the standard of living they had become accustomed to. As they neared retirement and saw this wasn't to be, they panicked. Most began screaming about more and more benefit money, more money for this and more money for that, including the perscription drugs which is an entitlement that by itself will sink the US economy. As it stands today, a 62 year old man will receive approximately $72,000 more from SS than he paid in over his lifetime. On the other hand, a 22 year old will have paid out approximately $300,000 more than he will recieve from SS. Since the average American will earn about $1 million over their lifetime, that is 1/3 of his potential income gone. That is money he could have used to have a family, have his own business, save for his own retirement at a much higher rate of return than SS ever could match, and generall spend how he wants. This is why the SS and other issues need to be solved now. If they aren't once the under 50's, and especially recent legal immigrants, start to realize what all this is going to cost them, things will get nasty. As for myself, I have little sympathy for that generation. They should have prepared for their future like earlier generations did. Some did and bully for them. But for the 2/3s who haven't, they get what government scraps they are tossed and shut up. No, the government can't afford to keep all retirees at upper middle class standard of living. If they want to keep it, sell the extra two houses, the boat and the RV. Invest, live frugally and hope for the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 Tom, I truly believe they are incapable of "seeing" what we see. I believe they are incapable of being "opened minded" to what Aspies uniquely have to offer. It seems to me NT's have a kind of mental apathy. If it is too hard to think about, dont think about it. If it doesnt concern money, why waste your time. I'm sick of money playing a prominant role in the development of mankind. Greed is not good, it is selfish and destructive. My wife's greatest concern about me is that I dont like to socialize. In the industry that she and I are in, socializing is of paramount importance. You know, schmooze the room. I pretending for a long time, I am unwilling to pretend anymore. To me to drop my facade was liberating to myself and not her. We were two players in a game which I grew out of and she did not. More than ever, I will stay true to my heart. More than ever I will stand true to my visions. P.S. Why do Aspies describe their ideals as being "seeing" or "scope" or "visions". Shaun.environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote: Shaun,Another thing is that people suddenly feel that they no longer have to make an effort to understand you once you tell them you have AS. They assume that if you have some "negative" or "peculiar" trait that is MUST be AS that's causing it, even if that trait is caused by something else entirely.They also assume that you must KNOW every single negative trait that you have and that you WANT to change them for the better, and so they criticize you when you tell them that you are happy the way you are.I mean, really, how short sighted can they be. All of us write to one another and come across as rational human beings that anyone can respect. Yet they judge us because of our sensitivities or some other difference. It's just silly.TomThis is but my own opinion. If need be, tell your secret. If not nessesary, do not.When I was diagnosed, my wife who is an insatiable gossip, told all the neighbors and pretty well any who would listen to her.Consequently, I have noticed a difference in their actions and attitudes towards me.Some are wary, like I'm a schitzo who is about to explode, others have an inate curiousity while some more dont seem to want to know me at all.In fact, as I said in my own opinion, if possible dont tell anyone.Appreciate your difference and the abilities that we have, but dont expect NT's to celebrate with you.I have noticed a big difference even how my wife treats me.She doesnt realize being an Aspie is not the same as being a leper.Shaun. Start your day with - make it your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 , To tell you the truth, I think our parents generation sold out our future becasue of greed. Our parents generation were the ones to sell off our public utilities for the sake of their immediate profits. This same generation expects us to honor their old age pensions. A significant few have generated much wealth from communal property. The majority have condoned these actions under unfettered capitalism without realising the consequences to future generations. Or just havent cared as long as they are rich. In my opinion, there must be a balance to unfettered capitalism and socialism. A happy medium if you will. The future retirees will lament the day they condoned greed. After all, we in the genearation to shape our societies future will demand accountability. Longivity is the answer. No retirement age if you are of sound body and mind. Maybe our parents generation can help pay for their own folly. Shaun.VISIGOTH@... wrote: Money in itself isn't a bad thing. In fact it is probably the most useful tool humanity has ever created. I mean can you imagine trying to find something to barter for a new computer? The problem comes primarily from a small number of greedy people. Now, a certain amount of greed is not a bad thing. It is what motivates business and for people to do their best at work. However, it can be taken to extremes, like those CEOs who get $100 million for running a company into the ground, or real estate speculators who are driving home prices out of reach of many. Those latter things could stand to be reigned in a bit, and should be. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2005 Report Share Posted August 9, 2005 , By merely allowing this to happen, whether condoned or no, is irrelevant to me in my opinion. It happened unfettered on their watch (being a democracy) so they are to blame. I agree the capitalist model is the best. But not at the expense of your own society. USSR is a good anology of this. When it broke up a few became obscenely wealthy at the expense of most. Greed is not good, greed is the destroyer of equality. Shaun.VISIGOTH@... wrote: Shaun. I agree that there must be a balance between capitalism and socialism, though I prefer much more in favor or the capitalist side. Actually most of them have been caught by their greed, but not in the way you seem to imply. Few actually made any money in the markets or anything like that because they were all busy spending it all and getting into debt so they could spend even more. A lot of this was, I think, because they believe Social Security would be there for them, meaning people in the US. However, Social Security was not meant to be the end all be all of retirement. It was meant to provide a minimum level of support. These generations seemed to think SS was going to keep them at the standard of living they had become accustomed to. As they neared retirement and saw this wasn't to be, they panicked. Most began screaming about more and more benefit money, more money for this and more money for that, including the perscription drugs which is an entitlement that by itself will sink the US economy. As it stands today, a 62 year old man will receive approximately $72,000 more from SS than he paid in over his lifetime. On the other hand, a 22 year old will have paid out approximately $300,000 more than he will recieve from SS. Since the average American will earn about $1 million over their lifetime, that is 1/3 of his potential income gone. That is money he could have used to have a family, have his own business, save for his own retirement at a much higher rate of return than SS ever could match, and generall spend how he wants. This is why the SS and other issues need to be solved now. If they aren't once the under 50's, and especially recent legal immigrants, start to realize what all this is going to cost them, things will get nasty. As for myself, I have little sympathy for that generation. They should have prepared for their future like earlier generations did. Some did and bully for them. But for the 2/3s who haven't, they get what government scraps they are tossed and shut up. No, the government can't afford to keep all retirees at upper middle class standard of living. If they want to keep it, sell the extra two houses, the boat and the RV. Invest, live frugally and hope for the best. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2005 Report Share Posted August 10, 2005 There will always be rich and powerful and always poor and ineffectual, BUT. It is the obligation of the rich and powerful to maintain a standard of living for all based on the profits made from all. The old adage. You dont shit in your own backyard. ergo. You dont abuse the community which you want to live in. It is fact that there will always be inequalities. BUT. It is the duty of all to maintain a good life for all. You do not abuse for wealth and plunder, to only take taker take and move to a new community. That just isnt right. Take if you will and contribute when you take. Is that so odd? Shaun VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 8/9/2005 5:48:32 PM Eastern Standard Time, scwmachinations@... writes: Greed is not good, greed is the destroyer of equality I partly agree with you here. Greed does make people unequal, but then people are unequal to begin with. There is no way to make people equal in terms of talent, intelligence or even wealth. Rather what should be looked for is equality in the eyes of the law, so that the rich are bound by the same law as the poor and all are treated the same by it. However, too much wealth in the hand of to few is a bad thing. This is a problem that is developing in the US with these fat cat CEOs making such huge amounts of money. The amount of wealth concentrate in the hands of the top 1% is approaching the same level as in 1929, just before the Great Depression. The way around this I think is a flat tax for everyone and closing the loopholes and tax shelters for the super rich. I also would not mind seeing a law regarding how CEOs are compensated. I would tie their compensation to a formula based on what percentage of their workforce was in the US and how much of their profits stayed in the US. This is something the State of Virginia does and it works well. Also, I would have 50% of the package held for a variable period of time, from 5 to 15 years. This would be held in escrow and tied to the fortunes of the firm they ran. If the firm continues to do well, then they will get all the money. If it flops, then they lose a portion of the money. This would prevent them from making the company look good then have it crash when they walk out the door. Also, I would hold the CEOs and such responsible if they drove a firm into the ground. They would pay restitution from the compensation package, golden parachute and other assets until they ran dry or all investors were made good. Repayment would begin with the smallest sharholders and build up to the highest. This would ensure that the people who could least afford to lose the money would be repaid first, while those who could afford to lose it come last. This would also cuase the institutional investors to pay much stricter attention to the internal operations of a firm. Start your day with - make it your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2005 Report Share Posted August 10, 2005 You know, it was nice meeting you folk and it good for a change to hear smart people sounding off. But at the end of the day I know I am alone. I know people the same as me can give me comfort, but in the machinations of things I know I am alone. Somke have at least an awesome partner who will not only tolerate us, but inspire us, to listen to us. I have yet to find that. Not parent, not lover, not wife. because of my parents lack of parenting skills, I have always looked for a mentor. Someone who is worldy but like me. Someone successful. Someone BETTER than me. But it never comes. I am alone. If I bring my family success, it is not because of their support, it is because of me. No one else. But I still will bend and grow stronger, not just yet, but real soon. Forgive my rants, Shaun.VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 8/9/2005 5:48:32 PM Eastern Standard Time, scwmachinations@... writes: Greed is not good, greed is the destroyer of equality I partly agree with you here. Greed does make people unequal, but then people are unequal to begin with. There is no way to make people equal in terms of talent, intelligence or even wealth. Rather what should be looked for is equality in the eyes of the law, so that the rich are bound by the same law as the poor and all are treated the same by it. However, too much wealth in the hand of to few is a bad thing. This is a problem that is developing in the US with these fat cat CEOs making such huge amounts of money. The amount of wealth concentrate in the hands of the top 1% is approaching the same level as in 1929, just before the Great Depression. The way around this I think is a flat tax for everyone and closing the loopholes and tax shelters for the super rich. I also would not mind seeing a law regarding how CEOs are compensated. I would tie their compensation to a formula based on what percentage of their workforce was in the US and how much of their profits stayed in the US. This is something the State of Virginia does and it works well. Also, I would have 50% of the package held for a variable period of time, from 5 to 15 years. This would be held in escrow and tied to the fortunes of the firm they ran. If the firm continues to do well, then they will get all the money. If it flops, then they lose a portion of the money. This would prevent them from making the company look good then have it crash when they walk out the door. Also, I would hold the CEOs and such responsible if they drove a firm into the ground. They would pay restitution from the compensation package, golden parachute and other assets until they ran dry or all investors were made good. Repayment would begin with the smallest sharholders and build up to the highest. This would ensure that the people who could least afford to lose the money would be repaid first, while those who could afford to lose it come last. This would also cuase the institutional investors to pay much stricter attention to the internal operations of a firm. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2005 Report Share Posted August 10, 2005 Also, who has a comp cam? It would be nice to see a picture of your faces. S.VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 8/9/2005 5:48:32 PM Eastern Standard Time, scwmachinations@... writes: Greed is not good, greed is the destroyer of equality I partly agree with you here. Greed does make people unequal, but then people are unequal to begin with. There is no way to make people equal in terms of talent, intelligence or even wealth. Rather what should be looked for is equality in the eyes of the law, so that the rich are bound by the same law as the poor and all are treated the same by it. However, too much wealth in the hand of to few is a bad thing. This is a problem that is developing in the US with these fat cat CEOs making such huge amounts of money. The amount of wealth concentrate in the hands of the top 1% is approaching the same level as in 1929, just before the Great Depression. The way around this I think is a flat tax for everyone and closing the loopholes and tax shelters for the super rich. I also would not mind seeing a law regarding how CEOs are compensated. I would tie their compensation to a formula based on what percentage of their workforce was in the US and how much of their profits stayed in the US. This is something the State of Virginia does and it works well. Also, I would have 50% of the package held for a variable period of time, from 5 to 15 years. This would be held in escrow and tied to the fortunes of the firm they ran. If the firm continues to do well, then they will get all the money. If it flops, then they lose a portion of the money. This would prevent them from making the company look good then have it crash when they walk out the door. Also, I would hold the CEOs and such responsible if they drove a firm into the ground. They would pay restitution from the compensation package, golden parachute and other assets until they ran dry or all investors were made good. Repayment would begin with the smallest sharholders and build up to the highest. This would ensure that the people who could least afford to lose the money would be repaid first, while those who could afford to lose it come last. This would also cuase the institutional investors to pay much stricter attention to the internal operations of a firm. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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