wally-shame/ treatmentI got

[Guest guest]

I was not made to wear a sign around my neck or shave

my head, but...

The first time I was there wasn't as bad. The only

nasty thing they did was tell me I wasn't working hard

enough at my recovery when I was putting in 6 hours a

day. And once I had an assignment to act like I was 3

years old for the day.( " Can you make me a sandwich,

please? " " Could we go to the park? " )Talk about

infantalizing cult members.

The 2nd time was brutal. I had a roomate who snored

very loudly and told me she had a habit of

sleepwalking, the last episode being with a kitchen

knife in her hand. I tried earplugs, a fan, nothing

worked. I could NOT get to sleep. After a week of this

I asked permission in group to go sleep on the couch

in the dusty basement. They did NOT believe me that

she snored, they said I had it in for her for some

other reason. Another week later of no sleep I was

" allowed " to go sleep in the clammy basement.

Several times different women would yell and scream

at me in group for 5 minutes straight for God knows

what. I was supposed to sit there and take it and the

staff did nothing. the staff said " We are not

concerned with your comfort " and " Throw yourself at

the mercy of the group " . They were not interested in

helping me when I went to them for help bawling my

eyes out.(I am not a person who cries easily or

often).

Wally says " I don't doubt that the shame you felt

was deliberately induced by the staff, as standard

operating procedure. Shame is the name of the game-

it's that simple. "

Thanks Wally. I still have trouble believing that

anyone could be that deliberately cruel. I remember

the sick grins on their faces.

Wally says " However, your treatment/NA experiences

don't necessarily have anything to do with your real

feelings about yourself. "

That's what f-ed me up so much I guess is the huge

gap between how I see myself(OK) and how the treatment

centre did(A piece of shit).

Anyhow, thanks for answering and sorry I took so

long.

Kim

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