Re: The floodgates have opened

[Guest guest]

I am sorry you are in so much pain. It is good that you are expressing it.

Not sure what else to say right now. I am very sleepy.

In a message dated 12/4/99 12:10:20 AM Central Standard Time,

butterbeana@... writes:

<< Hello all -

Ever since I posted that e-mail about , I have been in a TERRIBLE state

of mind.

I know the entire " schpeel " - " it's not your fault " ... " She would have done

it regardless of ...??? " etc etc

But DAMNIT ! What if I would have asked her to come back to MN?

What would have happened if I had returned a phone message from her two

weeks before she died...?

WHAT IF...WHAT IF...???

I don't even know where she is cemetary wise. I know it's somewhere in

Texas...

....when she died, I was in the midst of a TERRIBLE bout of major

depression...I can't remember the details...I can't remember how to get in

touch with any of her ASSHOLISH family.

I had THREE close people die in about a three month period...my beloved

grandmother, another ex-partner died of cancer, and then there is .

I am still haunted to this very day about and her death.

I have accepted my grandmother's death and the death of my other s.o. -

Norma.

BUT I CAN'T GET OVER CINDY'S DEATH...I JUST CAN'T.

~Trixxi

>>