Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 On Wednesday 31 July 2002 04:17 pm, Ellen Van Landingham wrote: > Ellyn Wenk wrote: > > My family even seemed exasperated when I felt a little weepy after the > > operation and recent diagnosis of pap cancer. One member even was > > so mean as to say, " Oh a whole day has gone by and you haven't even > > cried yet! " > > I'm sure they don't mean to be cruel; perhaps they just don't realize > how much we need support at a time like this Sometimes people are just mean and nasty. In any case, I would refuse to talk to the given family member until they had apologized. If they never apologize, then good riddance. There is a bare minimum of decency that should be expected from people, no excuses. Shayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 Ellyn Wenk wrote: > My family even seemed exasperated when I felt a little weepy after the > operation and recent diagnosis of pap cancer. One member even was > so mean as to say, " Oh a whole day has gone by and you haven't even > cried yet! " I wonder how your family members would feel if THEY had received the cancer diagnosis? It's unfortunate but true that many folks just don't know how to deal with us once we know we have cancer. They're frightened, uncomfortable, or afraid of saying the " wrong " thing, so in many cases they prefer not to talk about it at all -- and they don't want you to say or do anything to remind them about it, either. I'm sure they don't mean to be cruel; perhaps they just don't realize how much we need support at a time like this (I've been a thyca patient for 13 years and my family still can't say the " c " word). Aren't we lucky to know so many people on this list who don't squirm when we want to talk about our fears and concerns? > I wasn't really crying about the illness but I do seem to be crying so > much lately. I went on a trip to Europe and cried about seeing such > beautiful sights. I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm always weepy when I'm hypo, and never at any other time. My husband claims that he can predict when my TSH is high enough for a scan by the things that make me cry (when tv commercials make me weepy, he takes me to the lab for blood work -- so far, he's always been right). It takes 6-8 weeks after you start meds or change doses before your system stabilizes; since you've only been taking levoxyl for 4 weeks, you may still be a bit hypo. If you're still unaccountably weepy in mid-August, ask your doctor to check your thyroid levels to see if you need a higher dose. Of course, Intimations of Mortality can make you weepy, too. You have experienced a lot of physical and mental stress in the last three months, and you have plenty of good reasons to cry a little if you want to. A cancer diagnosis makes a lot of us notice and appreciate things that we might have taken for granted before -- so tearing up at beautiful sights may be a perfectly normal response for you now :-). Hang in there, don't let your family make you feel guilty about how you feel (that's *their* problem, not yours), and please let us know how your treatment is going. ellen -- mailto:ellen@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 Hi, Ellyn - and welcome to the group that no one REALLY wants to be part of! But I for one am sure glad it's here. This group has been my lifeline through this. Keep reading, ask questions, but don't assume you'll have all the bad things others have - just realize that everyone is different - YMMV. Everything you are saying is normal normal normal. Some of my well meaning family and friends told me the same thing - maybe you shouldn't read all this, it's just upsetting and worrying you, and if you read about it, then you'll have all the bad things happen to you (ie you will IMAGINE they're happening). Well, guess what - I went through surgery and RAI and hypo. I didn't get all the things I read about. I didn't LIKE it, it WASN'T fun, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Not everyone gets sick from RAI or has terrible terrible symptoms when hypo. Some do, but not everyone. My attitude is prepare for the worst (as much as you can), and hope for the best. If I HADN'T read about some of the awful things that others have experienced, and they happened to me, I'd have been very worried. As it was, I was prepared, so I was less scared. As " good " a cancer (as we are often told) as this is, it is still cancer. It is scary - I had my share of anger and tears. It is hard for those who haven't gone through this to understand. My husband, as wonderful as he is, was TOTALLY sick of hearing about thyca ad nauseum. It was, while I was going through the surgery and preparing for RAI, all I could think about. Of COURSE you have a reason to cry!! Below is a link to a message I wrote and sent my family and friends - feel free to use any of it to send to your family and friends to maybe explain this to them. There are 2 paragraphs that are really messed up (when you read it you'll see which). If you want, email me at aproctor@... and I'll send you the correct version. One of these days I'll repost it. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Thyca/message/15951 Family and friends want this to go away - understandably (so do we!!), and sometimes they say or do things that really don't help, but realize they mean well and are saying/doing them out of concern. Cheers, Alisa 2/15/2002: Nodule found during bad sore throat 2/27/2002: FNA - suspicious for pap 3/4/2002: Hysterectomy/oopherectomy-possible ovarian cancer - BENIGN!! 4/9/2002: TT - Stage 2 pap encapsuled in 2.5 x 2 x 1.6 cm nodule, Hashimotos discovered 5/28/2002: TBS (2 mCi dose on 5/24) and 100 mCi RAI 6/6/2002: TBS - No sign of mets Currently - 140mcg Levoxyl Age: 48 Location: near Seattle WA Please feel free to email me privately anytime > > > Hi fellow Thyca persons, > > Why does it feel so comforting to talk to you all? This group allows me > to talk about my new diagnosis and helps feed my desire to learn about > it. > My family says I should not be on this list as it upsets me. > I don't totally agree but in some instances it does scare me. Yet I > keep coming back to read more like a pedestrian watching a car reck. > Some of the things I have read give me hope like when I see people > diagnosed many years ago and are still clean. > Other posts scare me when I read about the sickness of RAI and hypo > hell, two conditions that I never knew of before in my 55 years of life. > My family just cannot understand and don " t seem to want to talk about > it . They want me to put on a smile and be brave and not discuss it .. > Something I am doing around them. I am going about my life, working and > playing. Yet it is always on my mind. > I love the fact that it seems to be a manageable condition, yet I seem > to also want important people in my life to be aware of it's seriousness. > My family even seemed exasperated when I felt a little weepy after the > operation and recent diagnosis of pap cancer. One member even was > so mean as to say, " Oh a whole day has gone by and you haven't even > cried yet! " > I wasn't really crying about the illness but I do seem to be crying so > much lately. I went on a trip to Europe and cried about seeing such > beautiful sights. > I cry at the drop of a hat. Could it be the levoxyl? I used to cry > when I was young, then after menopause that stopped. So I wonder about > hormones being off > or if I just may have a reason to cry a little. > > Trying to dry up, > Ellyn > > 4/15/02 fine needle neg for breast cancer / lump on thyroid found > during exam. > 5/10/02 thyroid ultra sound - nodule not a cyst but tumor 1.5 cm > 5/15/02 fine needle for nodule/ undetermined / surgery recommended > 6/7/02 second FNA and core needle performed /suspicious diagnosis > with a tiny lump on the other lobe also found. > 7/1/02 PT diagnosis benign > 7/3/02 diagnosis changed to PAP cancer (small amount ) meds 150 > lavoxyl > 8/22/02 blood work and tests and talk with surgeon scheduled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 Hello fellow Thycan, > My family says I should not be on this list as it upsets me. > I don't totally agree but in some instances it does scare > me....(snip)...My family just cannot understand and don " t seem to > want to talk about it. They want me to put on a smile and be brave > and not discuss it...I am going about my life, working and > playing. Yet it is always on my mind. I come from the land of the " stiff upper lip " and my family and friends were like yours at first. They found it hard to acknowledge or talk about my thyca, or any other illness in the family. It was considered *obsessive* to want to talk, or to understand one's illness. As a consequence I became anxious, isolated, and perhaps more afraid than I needed to be. Over the years though I've come to look on it as their problem, not mine. When I was diagnosed the second time around I was much more afraid but at the same time much more determined to *let it out* and find people to talk with. Talking about it helped me in learning about the condition, coming to terms with it, and ultimately, getting it off my mind and getting on with life. > My family even seemed exasperated when I felt a little weepy after > the operation and recent diagnosis of pap cancer...(snip)...I do > seem to be crying so much lately. I went on a trip to Europe and > cried about seeing such beautiful sights. I cry at the drop of a > hat. Could it be the levoxyl? I used to cry when I was young, then > after menopause that stopped. So I wonder about hormones being off > or if I just may have a reason to cry a little. I have had surgery several times (and not just for thyca) and have often been weepy afterwards, just as I was after the birth of each of my two children. I also cried a lot when I was watching films on television. Whether it's the anesthetic or hormones playing tricks on us I don't know. If it carries on too long or you find you can't control it you might want to talk to your doctor, but in my case I came to regard it as a normal and healthy part of the coping process. I'm so glad to enjoyed your visit to Europe. I think having a serious illness, such as thyroid cancer, and being confronted with our vulnerability in a way that family and friends perhaps have not, makes us more aware of the beauty around us. I can remember walking through our village a year after my diagnosis, second time round, and crying for the sheer pleasure of seeing the first Spring bulbs come into flower...something which, for a short period, I had thought I might never see again. And I also cried the first time I allowed myself to buy a new pair of shoes. It's now 20 years since my last occurrence, and many pairs of shoes later, but I still look back on that part of my life as something of tremendous value as I learned to enjoy and appreciate things I'd hardly noticed before. Don't force yourself to *dry up*. Let the tears come if you need to, and keep talking. There are enough (about 1400?) shoulders to lean on on this list serv! Best wishes for your next tests and discussion with your surgeon next month, Judith (British living in Holland) dx 1965 pap thyca T4-N1-M0 pt London,England 09/1965 dx2 recurrence in lymph nodes 1982 tt/rai The Netherlands 04/1982 clean scan 09/1982 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 Ellyn, Thanks for writing this. Many of us have walked in your shoes and many more will. I absolutely sympathize with what you are going through. Some people have also asked me why I want to know as much as possible about this thyca business. I try to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. I would much rather know the potential side effects of treatments and then know that I am normal than worry about what is happening to me. For example, my endo and surgeon only described withdrawing from meds as 'you might be a little tired'. The nuc med Dr told me that I would 'be tired and my face might be a little puffy'. While YMMV, I wish my list of hypo symptoms was that short! LOL OBTW, the tears are perfectly normal. I still find myself weepy at odd often unpredictable times. Best of luck to you from your thyca family. Keep those letters coming! pt 05/01, tt 06/01 RAI 150 mci 08/01, 02/02 pap/hurthle thyca > > > Hi fellow Thyca persons, > > Why does it feel so comforting to talk to you all? This group allows me > to talk about my new diagnosis and helps feed my desire to learn about > it. > My family says I should not be on this list as it upsets me. > I don't totally agree but in some instances it does scare me. Yet I > keep coming back to read more like a pedestrian watching a car reck. > Some of the things I have read give me hope like when I see people > diagnosed many years ago and are still clean. > Other posts scare me when I read about the sickness of RAI and hypo > hell, two conditions that I never knew of before in my 55 years of life. > My family just cannot understand and don " t seem to want to talk about > it . They want me to put on a smile and be brave and not discuss it . > Something I am doing around them. I am going about my life, working and > playing. Yet it is always on my mind. > I love the fact that it seems to be a manageable condition, yet I seem > to also want important people in my life to be aware of it's seriousness. > My family even seemed exasperated when I felt a little weepy after the > operation and recent diagnosis of pap cancer. One member even was > so mean as to say, " Oh a whole day has gone by and you haven't even > cried yet! " > I wasn't really crying about the illness but I do seem to be crying so > much lately. I went on a trip to Europe and cried about seeing such > beautiful sights. > I cry at the drop of a hat. Could it be the levoxyl? I used to cry > when I was young, then after menopause that stopped. So I wonder about > hormones being off > or if I just may have a reason to cry a little. > > Trying to dry up, > Ellyn > > 4/15/02 fine needle neg for breast cancer / lump on thyroid found > during exam. > 5/10/02 thyroid ultra sound - nodule not a cyst but tumor 1.5 cm > 5/15/02 fine needle for nodule/ undetermined / surgery recommended > 6/7/02 second FNA and core needle performed /suspicious diagnosis > with a tiny lump on the other lobe also found. > 7/1/02 PT diagnosis benign > 7/3/02 diagnosis changed to PAP cancer (small amount ) meds 150 > lavoxyl > 8/22/02 blood work and tests and talk with surgeon scheduled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 Ellyn. Hello my name is Terry, and I no what you are going threw. My TT was 6-02. My family treated it like I was just going to the hospital for a visit. I have only one child and I raise her myself so we are very close or so I thought. since I been sick it has been different. My close friends say that it is because she can't deal with anything going wrong with me health wise. I do understand that to a degree but then I feel she should grow up. Your family is wrong about this group. Yes there is times when some of the postings are a little depressing but without this group I would of not had anyone to talk to or to just be able to read other peoples postings. There is a old saying, it goes something like life can be easier if there is someone you can relate to. not the right words but the same meaning, Ellyn, I'm sorry I can't remember to well, but I am on 150 levoxyl and I am not crying yet but ask me in a few days, because God only knows what is next for anyone of us. Terry in PA crying > Hi fellow Thyca persons, Why does it feel so comforting to talk to you all? This group allows me to talk about my new diagnosis and helps feed my desire to learn about it. My family says I should not be on this list as it upsets me. I don't totally agree but in some instances it does scare me. Yet I keep coming back to read more like a pedestrian watching a car reck. Some of the things I have read give me hope like when I see people diagnosed many years ago and are still clean. Other posts scare me when I read about the sickness of RAI and hypo hell, two conditions that I never knew of before in my 55 years of life. My family just cannot understand and don " t seem to want to talk about it . They want me to put on a smile and be brave and not discuss it . Something I am doing around them. I am going about my life, working and playing. Yet it is always on my mind. I love the fact that it seems to be a manageable condition, yet I seem to also want important people in my life to be aware of it's seriousness. My family even seemed exasperated when I felt a little weepy after the operation and recent diagnosis of pap cancer. One member even was so mean as to say, " Oh a whole day has gone by and you haven't even cried yet! " I wasn't really crying about the illness but I do seem to be crying so much lately. I went on a trip to Europe and cried about seeing such beautiful sights. I cry at the drop of a hat. Could it be the levoxyl? I used to cry when I was young, then after menopause that stopped. So I wonder about hormones being off or if I just may have a reason to cry a little. Trying to dry up, Ellyn 4/15/02 fine needle neg for breast cancer / lump on thyroid found during exam. 5/10/02 thyroid ultra sound - nodule not a cyst but tumor 1.5 cm 5/15/02 fine needle for nodule/ undetermined / surgery recommended 6/7/02 second FNA and core needle performed /suspicious diagnosis with a tiny lump on the other lobe also found. 7/1/02 PT diagnosis benign 7/3/02 diagnosis changed to PAP cancer (small amount ) meds 150 lavoxyl 8/22/02 blood work and tests and talk with surgeon scheduled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 > > > Hi fellow Thyca persons, > > Why does it feel so comforting to talk to you all? -- because we've ALL walked a mile in these moccasins... its nice to chat with others who understand what we are going thru! This group allows me > to talk about my new diagnosis and helps feed my desire to learn about > it. > My family says I should not be on this list as it upsets me. -- I got those same comments, dismissed them.. and now its more like " gee, i don't know, do your list buddys have some input on that? " > One member even was > so mean as to say, " Oh a whole day has gone by and you haven't even > cried yet! " arghhh... too mean.. its a lot to absorb, and crying is part of it. > I wasn't really crying about the illness but I do seem to be crying so > much lately. I went on a trip to Europe and cried about seeing such > beautiful sights. > I cry at the drop of a hat. Could it be the levoxyl? I used to cry > when I was young, then after menopause that stopped. So I wonder about > hormones being off > or if I just may have a reason to cry a little. Ellyn; you have plenty of reason to cry.. and its good to get that out. One of my best friends cries at the drop of a hat too, and her thyroid is fine.. she is just more watery at beauty and nature, and sensitive things.... barb tt 8/99 RAI 4/00 Clean Scans 12/00, 5/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2002 Report Share Posted July 31, 2002 Dear Ellen, I hope you find some peace and comfort here. I think we can all relate to how you feel. Keep your spirit up! We're here for you. And enjoy the poem :-) Welcome A common thread has weaved our lives as thyroid-less we live The friends you make in Thyca land have so much more to give. They share their knowledge, blessings and prayers let you cry, vent, smile and cheer. They listen with an open heart and wash away your fear. So, pull up a chair and stay a while, relax and enjoy the view. As we live our lives with courage and strength when the moments seem so few. Jewels 7/31/02 in NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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