Re: the mirror

[Guest guest]

I loved the time she sighed loudly over the phone and sarcastically said " Well,

I guess you're just a better mother than I was. "   Like it was not a joke!  Um,

yeah, nada, I KNOW I'm a better mother--there's no way to even come close to the

depths of your failures as a mother!

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 12:45:43 AM

Subject: Re: Re: the mirror

My nada regularly uses the line " I did (or was doing or am doing ) the best

I could/can " . It seems to be both manipulative - to try to get the response

of " Oh no, you were a great mom "   and it seems also in her own mind it

absolves her of all guilt in the matter  - like it lets her off the hook and

everyone else should too because " she was doing the best she could " . Ohh,

please!

my

On Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 4:11 PM, bink1227 wrote:

>

>

> good god. " the best i could. " give me a break. that's the biggest cop-out i

> have ever heard. " i did the best i could! "

>

> um...NO YOU DIDN'T. pure and simple. it's a lie.

>

> bink

>

>

>

> >

> > my nada always said she did the best she could. I once told her she just

> > took the easy way out...I got " that look " and she didn't speak to me for

> the

> > rest of the day and part of the next...since it was only a few years ago

> > this happened, I didn't care. my nada was smart enough to know better

> than

> > to admit anything to us

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> >

> > Yes, my Sister and I both remember being approached now and then by a

> teary

> > nada saying, " I know I wasn't a good mother to you sometimes, but, I

> tried

> > my best... " but God help us if we fell for that ploy and said something

> > like, " Um... that's right, mom, you were scary and you hurt us a lot. "

> >

> > That would have triggered a tsunami-level rage.

> >

> > We knew that we were supposed to reply, " Oh, no, mom. You were just the

> > greatest mom ever. " It was a kind of test, I think. I think my nada felt

> > safe in admitting her feelings of guilt from time to time, because we

> never

> > called her on it. We had been trained to reassure her that she was just

> > fine, and we were just fine, and everything was fine.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>

> 

>