Re: Being alone with pain

[Guest guest]

Or how about " but you look so good!! "

Thats the one I hate the most!

Candy cares

> I have seen it mentioned a few times that many people here feel alone with

> their experience of chronic pain. I too have felt this and sometimes wonder

> if the feelings of isolation and not being believed contribute to the pain.

>

> Being told things like " it is all in your head " or " just get on with your

> life " are not helpful in the least. I suspect many of us have felt quite

> useless and dependent on others who don't understand what living with

> chronic pain does to one's self-esteem.

>

[Guest guest]

The one that gets me ticked off is " you don't look like you're in pain "

I have heard so many for the past 10 years that I have learned to ignore them.

You don't look disabled or You look good, you must be feeling better.

Ms.Katurah

[Guest guest]

The one " You don't look disabled " really riles me. So many people assume

that if you're not missing a limb or in a wheelchair there's nothing wrong

with you because THEY can't see it. GGRRR!!!

Pam

[Guest guest]

Ted Manning wrote:

> . . . sometimes wonder if the feelings of isolation and not being believed

> contribute to the pain.

>

> And if I am correct that these negative emotions are making the pain worse,

> then surely encouragement to overcome them is what we all need.

>

Ted,

For me, isolation and negative emotions can make the pain worse. This group

is great for encouragement and a place to share feelings. Depending on your

pain levels and your isolation, I recommend getting involved in something

that interests you other than pain support groups. This will help expand

your network of people who can support you and will provide you with

something else to focus on (other than the pain).

For example, I am unable to return to work at this time. So I volunteer for

a community group providing assistance to persons with disabilities so they

can remain in their homes. This has been an interest of mine both

personally and professionally for a long time. While I am a lousy volunteer

because my health often prevents me from making meetings, etc., I do feel

like I am making a contribution. And that is a great feeling. It has been

several years since I felt like I was doing anything, let alone making a

contribution.

But you do not have to volunteer. Get back involved with something you love

but maybe in a different way. If you love sports but cannot play anymore,

maybe start going to games as a fan, or get involved in a fantasy league.

If you loved gardening, maybe do a much smaller plot or create a terrarium

or find a community garden.

I also have two very close friends near where I live. I get together with

one or both every two weeks or so for lunch. We eat and chat. Then we go

do something short (30 to 45 minutes). A museum, a new health food store,

an art gallery, a new park, the zoo, something. It gets all three of us out

of isolation and frees one of us from heavy care taking duties. We all get

to see something new and different.