Re: It's official...

[Guest guest]

First off, big hugs to you mom!!! Even though you were fairly certain he

was autistic, it's still a shock to hear it. I just went through this

Friday. I was ok that night, but fell apart Saturday. I feel the same as

you do. I didn't want life to be SO hard for my Matt either. He's nearly 3

and just babbles, no words. He'll say a word (he's said 4 words total) but

then never again. He just finally pulled on a pair of shorts by himself on

Thursday. He eats with his hands, not utensils. I long for the child I

dreamed of, but this little boy is so special, that I just love him for what

he is, and accept what he can do, and just keep trying to teach him what I

can.

I'm new here. How old is Bobby?

Again, hugs to mom and Bobby. We're here for you. And remember, he's still

the same Bobby you loved before you knew for sure he was autistic.

ellen

It's official...

Well -

As some of you may remember we've had a lot flack around here trying to

get a diagnosis for Bobby. Well, it is actually official because the state's

behavioral psychologist came down for several hours to do an evaluation for

Bobby's Medicaid Waiver and he just blurted right out that Bobby is

obviously autistic and he was putting that in his report. I asked him if

this was the same as a diagnosis from the psychologist at Riley or someplace

else and he said it was exactly the same, he had the same credentials and

the same authority to diagnose it as everyone obviously wasn't willing to

do.

I haven't quite decided what to feel about it, since we've been fairly

sure for a while that he was autistic. It's just that he is so far

behind...he doesn't even do a lot of the things some of the other kids on

this list do as far as language skills and self help skills and stuff. I

don't know why i feel like crying all over again for little boy....except

that now I am fairly certain that life will be harder for him than I wanted

it to be. Is it normal to feel this way? Disconnected I guess.

I just thought I would write

KatrinaGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :

http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Kat. I'm glad you got an official dx for Bobby. I know it's hard, but now you

have something concrete to work from.

I forget how old Bobby is, but my son Andy only became verbal about 9 months

ago. Andy will be 5 next month. So much of the time though, I stil compare him

to others, he is still 3 years developmentally delayed and when my neighbours

son (who is the same age) is out playing in the street with the other kids, it

breaks my heart that Andy isn't there too. But I can't compare Andy to them. And

you shouldn't compare Bobby to the other wee ones on the list (or your

neighbourhood either). Compare Bobby to how he was last year, or 6 months ago.

He might surprise you. I would say its normal behaviour though. Think about it.

When our kids are babies, and we are with other mums, life seems to be *my kid

can do xyz* and you're sitting there thinking *shoot, her kids more advanced,

etc etc*. take things one day at a time. Bobby is the same little boy that he

was yesterday, last week, last month. All that has changed is that someone has

confirmed what you were so sure of.

Hang in there hon, we're here for you.

Take care

[Guest guest]

oh ((((((katrina))))))

even if you KNOW your child is autistic that official diagnosis is still a real

sobering slap in the face. paul (my husband and i attended a workshop before

entitled " grieving the disability " . i wish we had done it closer to the time of

rowan's diagnosis. what you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL!! i find it comes in

waves - almost four years after rowan's diagnosis i still have days when i cry

and cry and cry and hate this diagnosis and all it brings but all of the days in

between are pretty happy ones. you'll get to that place. there are lots of

people here for you that's for sure - write away my dear!

take care,

michelle

It's official...

Well -

As some of you may remember we've had a lot flack around here trying to get a

diagnosis for Bobby. Well, it is actually official because the state's

behavioral psychologist came down for several hours to do an evaluation for

Bobby's Medicaid Waiver and he just blurted right out that Bobby is obviously

autistic and he was putting that in his report. I asked him if this was the same

as a diagnosis from the psychologist at Riley or someplace else and he said it

was exactly the same, he had the same credentials and the same authority to

diagnose it as everyone obviously wasn't willing to do.

I haven't quite decided what to feel about it, since we've been fairly sure

for a while that he was autistic. It's just that he is so far behind...he

doesn't even do a lot of the things some of the other kids on this list do as

far as language skills and self help skills and stuff. I don't know why i feel

like crying all over again for little boy....except that now I am fairly certain

that life will be harder for him than I wanted it to be. Is it normal to feel

this way? Disconnected I guess.

I just thought I would write

KatrinaGet more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :

http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/14/02 1:22:18 PM Central Daylight Time,

KatMoody@... writes:

> haven't quite decided what to feel about it, since we've been fairly sure

> for a while that he was autistic. It's just that he is so far behind...he

> doesn't even do a lot of the things some of the other kids on this list do

> as far as language skills and self help skills and stuff. I don't know why

> i feel like crying all over again for little boy....except that now I am

> fairly certain that life will be harder for him than I wanted it to be. Is

> it normal to feel this way? Disconnected I guess.

> I just thought I would write

>

I know exactly. Christian got his diagnosis 2 weeks ago today. I am still

going through the shock, although it has lessened some. It has turned into a

will to advocate for what I think he needs to possibly get better? I don't

know if we are grasping at straws, but I am optimistic. I go through moments

that feel like the sky is falling and he will never do things nt children do.

It hurts and it takes awhile to get through. Even if you knew something was

wrong before, that diagnosis is enough to spiral you out of the false hope

that maybe you were over reacting. btdt.

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 7

Jordan 4

Christian 3 -autism

20 months cvr 5-30-01 & 11-19-01

[Guest guest]

Having it made " official " in some ways changes nothing. The child is

still the same child you have loved intensely since day one. But in

other ways it changes everything, it's a reminder that you've lost the

child you dreamed of when you were pregnant.

The people here are ones who can truly understand and relate. What a

blessing the internet is.

~ Karin

Katrina Moody wrote:

> Well -

> As some of you may remember we've had a lot flack around here trying to

> get a diagnosis for Bobby. Well, it is actually official because the

> state's behavioral psychologist came down for several hours to do an

> evaluation for Bobby's Medicaid Waiver and he just blurted right out

> that Bobby is obviously autistic and he was putting that in his report.

> I asked him if this was the same as a diagnosis from the psychologist at

> Riley or someplace else and he said it was exactly the same, he had the

> same credentials and the same authority to diagnose it as everyone

> obviously wasn't willing to do.

> I haven't quite decided what to feel about it, since we've been fairly

> sure for a while that he was autistic. It's just that he is so far

> behind...he doesn't even do a lot of the things some of the other kids

> on this list do as far as language skills and self help skills and

> stuff. I don't know why i feel like crying all over again for little

> boy....except that now I am fairly certain that life will be harder for

> him than I wanted it to be. Is it normal to feel this way? Disconnected

> I guess.

> I just thought I would write

> Katrina

[Guest guest]

I don't know why i feel like crying all over again for little

boy....except that now I am fairly certain that life will be harder

for him than I wanted it to be. Is it normal to feel this way?

Disconnected I guess.

> I just thought I would write

> Katrina

Katrina~ I understand how you feel completely. At the end of Noah's

first year in school ( he had already been diagnosed almost 2 years)

we had his annual review. At this review they used the term " severely

autistic " and I lost it ( crying unconsolably).... I am in education

and I should have known that at that time with the skills he had he

was, but hearing it was VERY overwelming...Hang in there :)

Amy mom to

Noah 6 Lucas 8 ASD's

[Guest guest]

((((((Karin))))))

From what I've heard, it's normal to go through a grieving feeling after the

diagnosis. We got our first one in stages, so it wasn't a big deal when we

finally got the autism one. For the second, I've had to fight to get it for

him.

Remember, even though he's behind now, it doesn't mean he'll always be so

far off later. Also, although things will be harder for him in some areas,

people like Temple Grandin have said that they wouldn't want to be any other

way than autistic.

Hang in there.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sue! I have to keep remembering this. Now you've given me a new

thing to research (Temple Grandin - never heard of him/her but I'm very

intrigued!) Like I needed one more thing to research... LOL.. ;-)

Take care,

Karin

wrote:

> ((((((Karin))))))

> >From what I've heard, it's normal to go through a grieving feeling

> after the

> diagnosis. We got our first one in stages, so it wasn't a big deal when we

> finally got the autism one. For the second, I've had to fight to get it for

> him.

> Remember, even though he's behind now, it doesn't mean he'll always be so

> far off later. Also, although things will be harder for him in some areas,

> people like Temple Grandin have said that they wouldn't want to be any other

> way than autistic.

> Hang in there.

> Sue

[Guest guest]

> Thanks Sue! I have to keep remembering this. Now you've given me

a new thing to research (Temple Grandin - never heard of him/her but

I'm very intrigued!) Like I needed one more thing to research...

LOL.. ;-)

>

> Take care,

> Karin

You must read up on Temple. She's a fasinating person. She holds a

PhD in Animal Behavor...something like that....

Anyway, I've read some of her essays and seen her on TV. She's very

intelligent but if you watch her on TV, you can see the Aspie

behaviors. She'll walk away when people are talking to her and not

ever realize the conversation was over. For her it was! She's very

fortunate though, because at the time she was born, there had been

very little research into autism and her parents were quick thinking

enough to get her into speech therapy right away. Her life might have

turned out a lot different if they hadn't known instictively what to

do to help her.

Tina

[Guest guest]

It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Just because you already

*know* it, it doesn't make it any easier to hear it from " official sources. "

(((hugs)))

Sissi