Re: nadas causing or exacerbating health problems

[Guest guest]

,

I hope it was a treat for you to see your son and grandson. I didn't think he

came by at all without your BPD DIL. I hope this was a bright spot for you; you

deserve it!

My son and grandson came to visit today w/o her...its always nice when she's

not around.

[Guest guest]

,

It was a pleasant surprise to see my son and grandson. He is starting to come

around with the baby on his own. He's done so 3 times this year so far, always

while his wife is working, but that is FINE with me. She's one I prefer to have

LC / NC with. I'm free to love on my grandbaby when she's not

around...otherwise she's either critical, possessive, and sometimes she won't

even let me hold him at all.

Tonight fada called to see if we wanted to join them for dinner. He called at

5:30pm and we already had plans. But at least he CALLED to ask, he didn't

drop-by unexpectedly. This is definite progress! I told him that normally I

would have agreed to go but we already had plans and I thanked him for the

invite. Perhaps he'll get the idea that next time he needs to put some

fore-thought into it instead of asking at the last minute.

Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks after all???

2

> My son and grandson came to visit today w/o her...its always nice when she's

not around.

>

[Guest guest]

Someone mentioned cortisol from the stress having negative affects. I also

think that adrenaline from stress can have serious affects. My father was

always in fight or flight mode with my mother who drove him to his death with

her constant demands. She flat out wore him out until his heart finally

stopped. But if she wasn't nagging him she was picking a fight and if she

wasn't doing that she was whining or telling him off. It just went from one to

the other in a constant viscious circle. She became the invalid tyrant. And

with all of his waiting on her hand and foot, he also neglected his own health.

Her needs took up every ounce of energy he had. So stress combined with

negligence can certainly lead to health conditions. In the case of your NPD ex,

I wouldn't be surprised if he neglected his wife and I'm sure he never met any

of her needs as they weren't important to him. But I'm sure he used her cancer

to garner a good bit of attention for himself.

Regards,

Jaye

>

> Hi everyone, I got into a very rare argument last night with a friend who was

extremely offended when I casually mentioned my belief that a narcissist

ex-boyfriend of mine had caused his wife to die early from cancer. I did put it

rather crudely and didn't qualify it--I wasn't thinking about it. In the

argument that ensued, I realized that I do strongly believe (though I might not

be able to prove it scientifically) that nadas and other Cluster B

parents/spouses can indeed actually have physical effects on their families.

I'm wondering what experiences any of you have had, and if you guys know of

literature on this subject.

>

> I know that when I began to break free of nada, any number of health problems

improved, and I realized they had very much been 'projected' onto me by nada.

Obviously this has its limits--you can't say nadas are the sole cause of

illness, esp. cancers, but I do think they can increase or speed up an already

existing propensity. Maybe just by the constant stress and anxiety they cause;

but maybe it could even be more than that.

>

> Anyway it certainly *feels* true to me, that my nada willed me to have certain

health problems or physical 'deformities' and lo, I did. Until I learned about

BPD and got rid of the will to do her will. I am very interested in other

experiences with this.

>

> --Charlie

>

[Guest guest]

Jaye,

Your post made me cry because that is what happened to my dad. Nada wore him out

with her constant demands and her rages. She was not a loving wife to him unless

it suited her. The same as your nada, she nagged him, picked fights with him,

insulted him and whined that he never loved her. It couldn't have been easy for

him after I moved away because it was only him and her. He died relatively young

of a massive heart attack.

At some point shortly after he died she said " you blame me for your father's

death. " I was so caught up in her drama at the time that what she said didn't

really process. But, when I think about it now, I do blame her for his death and

I am certain she knows what she put him through. She destroyed my relationship

with him in so many different ways and I hate her for it.

All the best

Abby

> >

> > Hi everyone, I got into a very rare argument last night with a friend who

was extremely offended when I casually mentioned my belief that a narcissist

ex-boyfriend of mine had caused his wife to die early from cancer. I did put it

rather crudely and didn't qualify it--I wasn't thinking about it. In the

argument that ensued, I realized that I do strongly believe (though I might not

be able to prove it scientifically) that nadas and other Cluster B

parents/spouses can indeed actually have physical effects on their families.

I'm wondering what experiences any of you have had, and if you guys know of

literature on this subject.

> >

> > I know that when I began to break free of nada, any number of health

problems improved, and I realized they had very much been 'projected' onto me by

nada. Obviously this has its limits--you can't say nadas are the sole cause of

illness, esp. cancers, but I do think they can increase or speed up an already

existing propensity. Maybe just by the constant stress and anxiety they cause;

but maybe it could even be more than that.

> >

> > Anyway it certainly *feels* true to me, that my nada willed me to have

certain health problems or physical 'deformities' and lo, I did. Until I

learned about BPD and got rid of the will to do her will. I am very interested

in other experiences with this.

> >

> > --Charlie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I grew up extremely stressed out and nervous most of the time because I was

afraid of my own mother. Sister and I were always on high alert, because

sometimes nada would be operating in her cycle-of-domestic-abuse (and therefor

somewhat more predictable) but other times she'd just lash out and attack us

verbally or physically out of the blue.

I had a lot of obvious nervous symptoms like severe nail-biting, difficulty

falling and staying asleep, frequent nightmares, exaggerated startle reflex,

difficulty eating, difficulty keeping food down when stressed, hair-pulling,

eating odd things like clay and matches, embarrassing self-soothing behaviors,

etc. I was hospitalized twice before the age of 2 for intestinal repair

operations, and had the usual childhood illnesses: mumps, measles & chicken pox

before kindergarten age. If there was a cold going around, I got it. I had

pneumonia pretty much every Christmas holiday throughout elementary and high

school. I'm thinking this was partly due to my parents both being heavy

smokers, which was not good for someone prone to respiratory ailments.

So, I think that my immune system was shot to hell pretty early on.

Having a high-stress job for nearly 20 years didn't help. I freelance now which

is less money, but a hell of a lot less stressful.

Nada herself was always quite healthy, rarely needed to see a doctor, kept

herself slender her whole life, and had/has naturally low blood pressure.

Go figure.

(Whoa! We're having a little shaker here in So Cal! Little ones are fine as

long as it means no big ones!)

-Annie

>

> Hi everyone, I got into a very rare argument last night with a friend who was

extremely offended when I casually mentioned my belief that a narcissist

ex-boyfriend of mine had caused his wife to die early from cancer. I did put it

rather crudely and didn't qualify it--I wasn't thinking about it. In the

argument that ensued, I realized that I do strongly believe (though I might not

be able to prove it scientifically) that nadas and other Cluster B

parents/spouses can indeed actually have physical effects on their families.

I'm wondering what experiences any of you have had, and if you guys know of

literature on this subject.

>

> I know that when I began to break free of nada, any number of health problems

improved, and I realized they had very much been 'projected' onto me by nada.

Obviously this has its limits--you can't say nadas are the sole cause of

illness, esp. cancers, but I do think they can increase or speed up an already

existing propensity. Maybe just by the constant stress and anxiety they cause;

but maybe it could even be more than that.

>

> Anyway it certainly *feels* true to me, that my nada willed me to have certain

health problems or physical 'deformities' and lo, I did. Until I learned about

BPD and got rid of the will to do her will. I am very interested in other

experiences with this.

>

> --Charlie

>

[Guest guest]

exactly !! I know when I'm about to have to " deal " with my nada, I usually

get a terrible stomach ache, and feel like I'm going to be sick !! I always

wondered if I had roseceia, but I don't think so since I don't have the

bumps...

Jackie

I too have the red checks, due to roseceia. I have other health problems

because of my weight and nerves. High blood pressure and cholestrol.

I am trying to stay off the anti- depressants, that it is hard.

Nada's are hard on our physical and emotional health for sure...

and it really is disturbing to know that. Parents are to help and support,

not tear us down.

Malinda

[Guest guest]

I don't know...it's never painful, I never get bumps/pimples there...just

the red coloring...

Jackie

Do you have rosacea? I have the red flush too. They also thought I had lupus

because I have other autoimmune issues. Turns out I don't - thank heavens.

But, I do have rosacea i.e. redness in my cheeks, nose and forehead which

flairs up when nada stresses me out or I eat hot/spicy food. )

[Guest guest]

LOL :-) I'm the child in the family with WHITE skin..I am very white..and

have blonde hair...

Jackie

Now this is getting very weird! I have rosacea, you have rosacea..sounds

like MY and Jackie have it...I blame nada. " She did this to

meeeeeeee!!!...It's all her faulllllllt that I have a red

face..waaaahhhhh " ..(Abby goes wailing from the room in nada

hysterics...NOT!)

[Guest guest]

good luck 2, let us know...my cycsts are like a cluster or

grapes...they aren't round either...have been there always...my baseline was

when I was 35 and they were there..I'm 50 and they haven't changed..I

guess..

Jackie

Thanks, I hope so too. I have a few benign cysts already, now I have

several others that showed up which are not the usual round but oval shape

and are close to dividing and have to go back in September for another

mammogram. I've been trying to take better care of myself, especially

emotionally to reduce the stress in my life. Getting dumped by nada and

fada as the result of boundary setting has been the best thing, and also

avoiding the bpd dil. My son and grandson came to visit today w/o her...its

always nice when she's not around.

2

[Guest guest]

them and drug companies :-(

Jackie

They said they were a level 3, which is questionable but not malignant at

this point so right now they're just monitoring them with mammogram. We have

a useless HMO, so who knows what sort of hack surgeon I'd even be referred

to. I had a few benign things removed in the past by a wonderful surgeon,

but he's not in my current insurance plan. Insurance companies run the

world.

2

[Guest guest]

Maybe it's just high blood pressure? and with NC, in time, we will all have

flawless skin? ;P

> > >

> > > LOL welcome to the non lupus lupus club :-) I never wear makeup..I blush

> > > very easily naturally, and always have the red cheeks and bridge of

> > > nose...so, I don't need make up :-) maybe some BPD people do cause their

own

> > > illneses, I don't think BPD was the reason for my nadas ....my nada was

> > > always very healthy until she got older ( she's almost 85)..she has

diabetes

> > > type 2 because she's been so overweight her whole adult life..she's had 2

> > > bouts of non Hodgkin's lymphoma cancer..one in the 1990's and one in

> > > 2004...and she's had a heart attack, but she always refused to go to the

dr

> > > and get checked out...so other than the cancer, her other conditions were

> > > brought on by her eating habits..and other than that...she's never

sick..she

> > > rarely ever had a cold, never had the flu...

> > >

> > > Jackie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > oh crap. I guess I have lupus too. I have had red cheeks and nose my whole

> > > life. LOL. A couple of years ago my mom got upset with me and told me that

I

> > > had way too much blush on. Only problem? I wasn't wearing any.

> > > So-do you think BPD people cause health issues for themselves due to their

> > > own negativity? My mother has a host of health issues, mainly diabetes

(type

> > > 1) and fibromyalgia (sp?) When she gets stressed about things like money,

or

> > > loss of control (like when we told her we were moving) she vomits and has

> > > debilitating diarrhea (sorry for TMI) for a few days. This started back

when

> > > my step dad asked for a divorce. It never happened prior to that.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I really worry about this too. My life has been one big stress-fest since birth.

I was born to a BPD mother and an physically abusive/alcoholic father. We used

to have to run away and sleep in the car on really " bad " nights. Then, well, I

grew up in that house with *her*, even after she divorced him. My mother really

lost it when I was 15-during her second divorce. I got married and pg at 23 and

was told that the babies (twins) were going to die. They were born 3 months

premature. 4 days later one was found to have a fatal heart defect. he narrowly

survived experimental surgery. I had another baby 2 years later. Baby #1 was a

" medical " baby until age 4 with countless dr appts, surgeries, hospital stays,

feeding issues, etc. When they were almost 5 both twins were dx'd with autism

(PDD-NOS, for those of you who are familiar). A month later I found out I was pg

with #4. Oh yeah, and we were LIVING WITH NADA pretty much the whole time. Now I

am NC, but the two years between moving out of her house and now were almost

unbearable. I am also in the process of finding a residentail program for ds#1,

as his PDD and PTSD are more than I am capable of, now that he is 11. I have had

DCF suggest foster care for my other children because #1 is so violent. I figure

if stress brings on illness and or cancer-I'm a walkin' talkin' time bomb.

> >

> > Hi everyone, I got into a very rare argument last night with a friend who

was extremely offended when I casually mentioned my belief that a narcissist

ex-boyfriend of mine had caused his wife to die early from cancer. I did put it

rather crudely and didn't qualify it--I wasn't thinking about it. In the

argument that ensued, I realized that I do strongly believe (though I might not

be able to prove it scientifically) that nadas and other Cluster B

parents/spouses can indeed actually have physical effects on their families.

I'm wondering what experiences any of you have had, and if you guys know of

literature on this subject.

> >

> > I know that when I began to break free of nada, any number of health

problems improved, and I realized they had very much been 'projected' onto me by

nada. Obviously this has its limits--you can't say nadas are the sole cause of

illness, esp. cancers, but I do think they can increase or speed up an already

existing propensity. Maybe just by the constant stress and anxiety they cause;

but maybe it could even be more than that.

> >

> > Anyway it certainly *feels* true to me, that my nada willed me to have

certain health problems or physical 'deformities' and lo, I did. Until I

learned about BPD and got rid of the will to do her will. I am very interested

in other experiences with this.

> >

> > --Charlie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I just had to weigh in here, since your posting really hits home, Charlie. Many

posters have mentioned the physical effects of continuous stress we have lived

with from childhood. I'd say we're predisposed to having stress-related

illnesses just from coming into Oz at birth.

I've been very lucky not to have to endure what many of you have and guess I got

some of the better genes in our pool for health. But certainly I've had

stress-related junk that has hung around until I made a connection and got the

emotional release I needed. My two brothers are not so lucky and both have

heart/circulatory problems and struggle with alcoholism.

I've also seen some other old postings about illness and bpd's, mentioning nadas

who concoct or exaggerate their own symptoms. This is called a " factitious

disorder " and here are some links I've found helpful to explain what I always

suspected.

http://www.bpdresources.com/otherdisorders.html#Munchausens

http://www.factitiousdisordersurvivors.com/

http://www.munchausen.com/

I think the problem is far more widespread than we know, but isn't easily teased

out of the complex of presenting pathology. In our case it was often " what's

real, what isn't, what caused what, what's a side effect of meds " , and on and

on. There is no doubt at all that my nada started out with some endocrine

problems, but later on " developed " diabetes (among other serious conditions),

and along the way deliberately created confusion among the family and with her

doctors. She used prescribed drugs to produce effects, exaggerated or

mis-reported symptoms to get other drugs and knew what she was doing all along.

She ended up having both legs amputated as a result of this spiraling

manipulation of her body and drugs she had available. She also introduced

infections, took certain measures to produce certain outcomes in diagnostic

testing, and all the while continued ongoing research online. She was very

well-informed.

Imagine the difficulties of trying to give an accurate family history to a new

doctor! I've had to revise mine several times over the years, as each new

condition crops up or just...disappears...with my nada. Cancer, diabetes,

endocrine problems, weird (reported) congenital defects...were they, weren't

they real? And just what am I really at risk for? I am still discovering

evidence of my nada's fabrications and exaggerations as I go through her records

after her death.

Extended to the family, with my step-father in his later years, she was in total

control of all his medications, which she also manipulated for particular

effects, which resulted in a final episode of blood-thinner overdosing and

subsequently his death. She had convinced his doctors she was an RN with years

of experience, and (supposedly) got their okay to " adjust " dosages of powerful

drugs. Our family is convinced she did this to shorten his life, and it worked.

There is no telling how long this went on.

In our childhoods, my brothers and I were lucky not to be sick often, although

my youngest brother vomited every morning and slept-walked almost every night.

Looking back at family pictures, we all have this " deer in the headlights " look

in our faces. I surrendered totally to my role as the caretaker for us and our

nada, stayed healthy because I think I needed to, and can't remember a time when

I didn't feel like life was just a tightrope walk over a volcano. We were

rescued by our beloved grandmother and aunt many times and I think this

pre-empted future other difficulties. But I wonder how things in our life would

have been different as adults, had we not endured such a childhood.

I really wish there was more open dialogue in the mainstream and online about

the connection with illness and bpd. I think what little we do hear is just the

tip of an iceburg. And I hope few of you are able to make the connection. It

is scary as much as it is enlightening to discover the realities. I've detailed

this stuff in my writing, for anyone who wants to take a look at

http://sites.google..com/site/nonborderlinedaughter More than anything, though,

I wish the medical community was more aware of this situation in their patients

who may be fabricating the symptoms they are prescribing for. Then, perhaps,

they may not be inadvertently compounding problems already there.

PJ

>

> Hi everyone, I got into a very rare argument last night with a friend who was

extremely offended when I casually mentioned my belief that a narcissist

ex-boyfriend of mine had caused his wife to die early from cancer. I did put it

rather crudely and didn't qualify it--I wasn't thinking about it. In the

argument that ensued, I realized that I do strongly believe (though I might not

be able to prove it scientifically) that nadas and other Cluster B

parents/spouses can indeed actually have physical effects on their families.

I'm wondering what experiences any of you have had, and if you guys know of

literature on this subject.

>

> I know that when I began to break free of nada, any number of health problems

improved, and I realized they had very much been 'projected' onto me by nada.

Obviously this has its limits--you can't say nadas are the sole cause of

illness, esp. cancers, but I do think they can increase or speed up an already

existing propensity. Maybe just by the constant stress and anxiety they cause;

but maybe it could even be more than that.

>

> Anyway it certainly *feels* true to me, that my nada willed me to have certain

health problems or physical 'deformities' and lo, I did. Until I learned about

BPD and got rid of the will to do her will. I am very interested in other

experiences with this.

>

> --Charlie

>

[Guest guest]

I think that growing up in a chaotic, unhealthy environment tends to cause

chronic illness. As someone else mentioned, being forced to live in a constant

state of fight-or-flight tends to cause an imbalance in adrenaline and/or

cortisol. In time, this imbalance can cause an imbalance in other hormones, as

the endocrine system is intricately connected. So once your adrenaline release

mechanism is messed up, you may develop other problems in the areas of women's

health, blood sugar stasis and metabolism (thyroid, etc.), for example.

That said, I personally believe that diagnoses of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,

PTSD, Fibromyalgia, panic attacks, and so on can all be categorized as varying

degrees or expressions of Adrenal Fatigue. This is when the adrenal glands are

repeatedly overburdened by stress, and therefore begin to work at decreased

capacity. The more powerful or prolonged the stressor, the less one's adrenal

glands are able to cope.

Unfortunately, Adrenal Fatigue is largely ignored by the conventional medical

community (with certain notable exceptions). I found alternative practitioners

such as naturopathic doctors and accupuncturists to be very helpful in treating

the various symptoms from which I've suffered. I've found this book to be very

useful as well: " Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome " by

.

In case this helps anyone, here's a list of symptoms I had before treatment:

- Extreme exhaustion, falling asleep at 2pm, barely able to stay awake until

8pm, then unable to fall asleep at bed-time. Exhaustion upon waking up.

- Physical pain when attempting to exercise.

- Dark circles under the eyes, all the time.

- Seborrhea, flaky skin on the face. A tendency to break out.

- Craving sweets then salt, then sweets, etc.

- Swiftly plunging blood sugar levels if I didn't eat immediately when hungry.

- Yo-yo weight loss and gain, seemingly unrelated to my level of physical

activity.

- Polycystic Ovary Syndrome - Cysts on the ovaries, hirsutism, irregular

menstruation, possible anovulation.

- Extremely dry skin, to the point of cracking and bleeding, mainly on the

hands.

- Being cold all the time, even in the summer.

- Startling easily, tendency towards depression and anxiety.

- Feeling dizzy and light-headed when standing up after kneeling or crouching.

- Blood tests: A tendency toward anemia, consistently low sodium levels, no

matter how much salt I eat, moderately high cholesterol, tendency towards low

thyroid function (high-end TSH).

- Fuzzy thinking, increasingly worsening memory (forgetting words and events in

the past), difficulty in focusing.

- Increased sensitivity to pain, both physical and emotional. Also increased

sensitivity to smell.

It was a horrible roller coaster that probably began in my childhood and

culminated in a near physical breakdown in my mid to late twenties. But the way

I feel now is worlds away from the way I used to feel.

qwerty

[Guest guest]

I dont' have the bumps or pimples either, just the rash. There are different

classifications or categories of rosacea.

>

> I don't know...it's never painful, I never get bumps/pimples there...just

> the red coloring...

>

> Jackie

>

>

> Do you have rosacea? I have the red flush too. They also thought I had lupus

> because I have other autoimmune issues. Turns out I don't - thank heavens.

> But, I do have rosacea i.e. redness in my cheeks, nose and forehead which

> flairs up when nada stresses me out or I eat hot/spicy food. )

>

[Guest guest]

Hey! Me too. I always say I'm the color of raw chicken.

>

> LOL :-) I'm the child in the family with WHITE skin..I am very white..and

> have blonde hair...

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

> Now this is getting very weird! I have rosacea, you have rosacea..sounds

> like MY and Jackie have it...I blame nada. " She did this to

> meeeeeeee!!!...It's all her faulllllllt that I have a red

> face..waaaahhhhh " ..(Abby goes wailing from the room in nada

> hysterics...NOT!)

>

[Guest guest]

Funnily enough, when I'm anxious my face starts burning and itching. I've

suffered from anxiety and depression for years. But Nada suffered from

" diseased Adrenal glands " - 's Disease - when she was in her twenties.

She had nine tenths of her adrenal glands removed. Now she is eighty years old,

she needs medication to compensate as the knock-on effect is an underactive

thyroid gland. It does make you wonder how inter-connected the endocrine and

neurological systems in the body are.

>

> I think that growing up in a chaotic, unhealthy environment tends to cause

chronic illness. As someone else mentioned, being forced to live in a constant

state of fight-or-flight tends to cause an imbalance in adrenaline and/or

cortisol. In time, this imbalance can cause an imbalance in other hormones, as

the endocrine system is intricately connected. So once your adrenaline release

mechanism is messed up, you may develop other problems in the areas of women's

health, blood sugar stasis and metabolism (thyroid, etc.), for example.

>

> That said, I personally believe that diagnoses of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,

PTSD, Fibromyalgia, panic attacks, and so on can all be categorized as varying

degrees or expressions of Adrenal Fatigue. This is when the adrenal glands are

repeatedly overburdened by stress, and therefore begin to work at decreased

capacity. The more powerful or prolonged the stressor, the less one's adrenal

glands are able to cope.

>

> Unfortunately, Adrenal Fatigue is largely ignored by the conventional medical

community (with certain notable exceptions). I found alternative practitioners

such as naturopathic doctors and accupuncturists to be very helpful in treating

the various symptoms from which I've suffered. I've found this book to be very

useful as well: " Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome " by

.

>

> In case this helps anyone, here's a list of symptoms I had before treatment:

>

> - Extreme exhaustion, falling asleep at 2pm, barely able to stay awake until

8pm, then unable to fall asleep at bed-time. Exhaustion upon waking up.

> - Physical pain when attempting to exercise.

> - Dark circles under the eyes, all the time.

> - Seborrhea, flaky skin on the face. A tendency to break out.

> - Craving sweets then salt, then sweets, etc.

> - Swiftly plunging blood sugar levels if I didn't eat immediately when hungry.

> - Yo-yo weight loss and gain, seemingly unrelated to my level of physical

activity.

> - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome - Cysts on the ovaries, hirsutism, irregular

menstruation, possible anovulation.

> - Extremely dry skin, to the point of cracking and bleeding, mainly on the

hands.

> - Being cold all the time, even in the summer.

> - Startling easily, tendency towards depression and anxiety.

> - Feeling dizzy and light-headed when standing up after kneeling or crouching.

> - Blood tests: A tendency toward anemia, consistently low sodium levels, no

matter how much salt I eat, moderately high cholesterol, tendency towards low

thyroid function (high-end TSH).

> - Fuzzy thinking, increasingly worsening memory (forgetting words and events

in the past), difficulty in focusing.

> - Increased sensitivity to pain, both physical and emotional. Also increased

sensitivity to smell.

>

> It was a horrible roller coaster that probably began in my childhood and

culminated in a near physical breakdown in my mid to late twenties. But the way

I feel now is worlds away from the way I used to feel.

>

> qwerty

>

[Guest guest]

--- Funnily enough, when I'm anxious my face starts burning and itching. I've

suffered from anxiety and depression for years. But Nada suffered from

" diseased Adrenal glands " - 's Disease - when she was in her twenties.

She had nine tenths of her adrenal glands removed. Now she is eighty years old,

she needs medication to compensate as the knock-on effect is an underactive

thyroid gland. It does make you wonder how inter-connected the endocrine and

neurological systems in the body areIn WTOAdultChildren1 ,

" jeanie1900 " wrote:

>

> Funnily enough, when I'm anxious my face starts burning and itching. I've

suffered from anxiety and depression for years. But Nada suffered from

" diseased Adrenal glands " - 's Disease - when she was in her twenties.

She had nine tenths of her adrenal glands removed. Now she is eighty years old,

she needs medication to compensate as the knock-on effect is an underactive

thyroid gland. It does make you wonder how inter-connected the endocrine and

neurological systems in the body are.

> >

> > I think that growing up in a chaotic, unhealthy environment tends to cause

chronic illness. As someone else mentioned, being forced to live in a constant

state of fight-or-flight tends to cause an imbalance in adrenaline and/or

cortisol. In time, this imbalance can cause an imbalance in other hormones, as

the endocrine system is intricately connected. So once your adrenaline release

mechanism is messed up, you may develop other problems in the areas of women's

health, blood sugar stasis and metabolism (thyroid, etc.), for example.

> >

> > That said, I personally believe that diagnoses of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,

PTSD, Fibromyalgia, panic attacks, and so on can all be categorized as varying

degrees or expressions of Adrenal Fatigue. This is when the adrenal glands are

repeatedly overburdened by stress, and therefore begin to work at decreased

capacity. The more powerful or prolonged the stressor, the less one's adrenal

glands are able to cope.

> >

> > Unfortunately, Adrenal Fatigue is largely ignored by the conventional

medical community (with certain notable exceptions). I found alternative

practitioners such as naturopathic doctors and accupuncturists to be very

helpful in treating the various symptoms from which I've suffered. I've found

this book to be very useful as well: " Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress

Syndrome " by .

> >

> > In case this helps anyone, here's a list of symptoms I had before treatment:

> >

> > - Extreme exhaustion, falling asleep at 2pm, barely able to stay awake until

8pm, then unable to fall asleep at bed-time. Exhaustion upon waking up.

> > - Physical pain when attempting to exercise.

> > - Dark circles under the eyes, all the time.

> > - Seborrhea, flaky skin on the face. A tendency to break out.

> > - Craving sweets then salt, then sweets, etc.

> > - Swiftly plunging blood sugar levels if I didn't eat immediately when

hungry.

> > - Yo-yo weight loss and gain, seemingly unrelated to my level of physical

activity.

> > - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome - Cysts on the ovaries, hirsutism, irregular

menstruation, possible anovulation.

> > - Extremely dry skin, to the point of cracking and bleeding, mainly on the

hands.

> > - Being cold all the time, even in the summer.

> > - Startling easily, tendency towards depression and anxiety.

> > - Feeling dizzy and light-headed when standing up after kneeling or

crouching.

> > - Blood tests: A tendency toward anemia, consistently low sodium levels, no

matter how much salt I eat, moderately high cholesterol, tendency towards low

thyroid function (high-end TSH).

> > - Fuzzy thinking, increasingly worsening memory (forgetting words and events

in the past), difficulty in focusing.

> > - Increased sensitivity to pain, both physical and emotional. Also increased

sensitivity to smell.

> >

> > It was a horrible roller coaster that probably began in my childhood and

culminated in a near physical breakdown in my mid to late twenties. But the way

I feel now is worlds away from the way I used to feel.

> >

> > qwerty

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LOL good description !! I burn easily, then peal, and am back to lily white

....I don't tan...the darkest I get is still much lighter than my husbands

butt ( which never sees the sun), and he's a light white guy LOL

Jackie

Hey! Me too. I always say I'm the color of raw chicken.

[Guest guest]

I didn't know that...so thats probably what it is...

Jackie

I dont' have the bumps or pimples either, just the rash. There are different

classifications or categories of rosacea.

[Guest guest]

I'm glad you found my post useful. Sometimes I don't know whether my words have

an effect, or are just lost in the ether. So thanks for that. Feel free to

forward its content without my e-mail address.

Just wanted to address the idea of illness and blame. I'm going to make a very

fine, almost hair-splitting differentiation, but do bear with me.

I used to perceive my nada as having caused my various health issues. It used to

bother me quite a lot. I don't think I see it that way anymore. I think my

health issues have to do with the environment in which I grew up, not my nada.

True, she did wreak havoc and caused me a great deal of stress in my early life.

But that is not to say that she intentionally set out to make me ill. The idiom

" lay down with dogs, get up with fleas " is apt. Dogs, by their very nature, will

often have fleas. If you lie down with one and are therefore infested, you can't

really blame the dog. It's just his nature, and the nature of the fleas, for

that matter. Can't blame yourself either, if you're a child and the dog is your

mom.

If my nada was healthy enough to realize that her behavior was severely damaging

to me physically, and to care enough to do something about it, she probably

wouldn't have BPD (or she'd be recovering from BPD). Those were my circumstances

growing up, and I couldn't really do much about them back then. It just was.

Some people grew up in a war zone and now have PTSD. Some people were in a war

and now have PTSD. Some people may have been in a tsunami or a hurricane or a

volcano eruption and now have PTSD. It just is.

There's an interesting book that covers this topic in a way, I think it was " The

Divided Self: An Existential Study in Sanity and Madness " by R.D. Laing. The

book describes a number of case-studies of schizophrenic individuals in the

context of their families. Laing shows how the dynamics of the family are

dysfunctional, and the mentally ill person is reacting to the illness in which

he has been raised. To me this idea has nothing to do with blame, or fault. The

dysfunctional family members are acting in the only way they know how, while the

mentally ill person is either acting out against the sickness in which he is

surrounded or is engulfed by it. You can't really point a finger anywhere,

because the entire family, the whole system is messed up. The only thing you can

do is change for the better. It's been a while since I've read that book (should

probably re-read it). But that's more or less what I remember from having read

it quite a few years ago.

qwerty

>

> Ya'all, this post from Querty really speaks to me.

>

> Qwerty started her post with, " I think that growing up in a chaotic,

> unhealthy environment tends to cause chronic illness. As someone else

> mentioned, being forced to live in a constant state of fight-or-

> flight tends to cause an imbalance in adrenaline and/or cortisol. In

> time, this imbalance can cause an imbalance in other hormones, as the

> endocrine system is intricately connected. So once your adrenaline

> release mechanism is messed up, you may develop other problems in the

> areas of women's health, blood sugar stasis and metabolism (thyroid,

> etc.), for example. "

>

> I have found blame of my NADA for my health issues to be very

> unhelpful to me. Even the powerful feeling of " ah-a " , when I

> recognize how my health is " related " to hers, is one I have to be

> careful of...that in understanding the " causeS " of my illness I don't

> get into judgment of her.

>