Guest guest Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 The healtiest thing I ever did was to put 1,500 miles between me and my BPD mother. The old bitch died a number of years later and I remember crying--not because I cared, but because I realized that I couldn't have cared less. That, at the time, was sad. All the best, ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Friday, April 24, 2009 3:06:40 PM Subject: Re: Re: the mirror wow, your nada actually admitted doing this ?? mine denies it !! I swear, my nada remembers things SO differently than the rest of us...she remembers herself as the perfect mother, it's just US who are rotten people and make her look bad !! She think sshe was there for us any time, and where and was June Cleaver !! Jackie Yes, food as a tool of manipulation or a substitute for emotional care and closeness messes up a kid's head in more than one way. My nada would look at me with disgust when I was too heavy (I was never the right weight as far as nada was concerned: either too skinny as a child or too fat as a teen/adult) and say, " Well, I guess I shouldn't have used cookies to shut you up when you were crying. " So I came to associate food with relief from pain after being raged at. Nada was in effect training me to be a masochist: physical abuse = pleasurable reward. Nada's completely warped and horrific parenting caused damage on many, many levels of my psyche. And it was so much more bewildering because she would be nice to me sometimes, and she was always nice to me in front of other adults. I think I'm pretty lucky to be functioning as well as I am, and not dead, frankly. -Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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