Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 Breathe! You took her bait. UHOH! A time will come when you see comments like the one she wrote and you'll be able to, peacefully, put it in the " Her Problem " not " My Problem " basket and, therefore, have no urge to have an immediate reply or second thought. Practice mindfullness, it's self-healing. Peace. Lynnette > > Hey, > > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > pizza & coffee. > > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > stand in my way. > > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > not the time. > > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > differ on things like children. > > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > > End of my message to her. > > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > tired of being the damn black sheep. > > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > passive agressive & hurtful. > > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > she deserves & nothing more. > > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > > Justi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 The first thing to remember when this kind of thing happens is that you don't owe anyone any explanation for choosing to go out with your friends. Where did the idea that you should invite her to join you come from? Did you somehow give the impression that it was a party rather than just hanging out with friends? What kind of relationship do you normally have with her? However she got the idea that she should have been invited, that's her problem not yours. There's no need for you to reply with a long explanation because you don't owe her any explanation at all. Don't let yourself be tricked into feeling guilt when you haven't done anything wrong. What I'm really wondering about here is why such a simple comment caused you to reply with an explanation of all this other family stuff that had nothing to do with going out with your friends. Is there some back-story that we don't know that caused that reaction? You may be reading more into it then was meant. It may be that the way you've been trained to react to your nada is influencing how you react to other family members. When nadas say things, there's usually a lot more implications behind whatever they actually say. When normal people say things, all that other background stuff is not necessarily there. Sometimes people just mean what they say and no more. In any case, you don't owe her an explanation unless you want to give one. I hope your move goes smoothly. At 10:40 AM 05/07/2009 Justi3 wrote: >So, yeah, I had a nice night last night with some friends from >class. >I posted a thank you note to them on my facebook. My step >sister >(nada's husband's daughter) posts a reply " Thanks for the >invite... >take care of yourself see you soon " . I'm just so angry right >now. No >I didn't invite her. I wasn't sure what was going on. There >was some >discussion monday after class about getting coffee, but I >didn't know >if people would still be up for it or not. And when they were, >I just >went with the flow. I didn't call any of my friends or family >outside >of school. I just hung out with my classmate friends. And I >had a >damn good time. > >So, step sister's trying to lay a guilt trip on me, so I >replied to >her on a private message on facebook. This is what I wrote: > >Hey, > >Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my >teacher >from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took >me for >pizza & coffee. > >You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 >weeks. >With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's >called me >except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is >giving me >the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have >no idea >why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right >now. >This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or >not, >but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. >But >hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let >anyone >stand in my way. > >One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but >now is >not the time. > >I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not >believe >anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings >against >you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your >hubby & >the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step >brother & his >son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > >She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even >called >me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least >three >times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. >STB-ex & >I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just >grew >apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our >oppinions >differ on things like children. > >I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get >on with >my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. >I >understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit >happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day >and then >they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > >Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > >End of my message to her. > >What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her >family to >anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we >did >go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada >happy. But, I >only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada >happy. >And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' >heads >with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell >them >what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe >me! She puts >on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she >has >said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things >she's >said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they >see >her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure >she >fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE >OF IT! > >I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm >moving >in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & >anyone >who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of >mine. All I >can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really >is. I'm >tired of being the damn black sheep. > >Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless >together. >I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN >ANGRY. >How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not >stand for >it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she >have >called me? That whole side of my family must have those special >phones >that only recieve calls, not dial out. > >Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the >UHaul. >I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm >so >pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post >this and >have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat >out >passive agressive & hurtful. > >See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of >my >happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... >NOTHING. I'm >done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her >insanity. She >can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done >this to >herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's >getting what >she deserves & nothing more. > >Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > >Justi > > >------------------------------------ > >Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at >@.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO >NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. > >To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call >888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to > " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving >the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any >bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! > > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and > author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 The most recent time my nada blew up at my Sister was over a spur-of-the-moment decision on my Sister's part to drop in and visit some of our relatives when she happened to be in their area, and Sister did not think to include nada (who was not anywhere near that area in the first place.) Nada's rage was so misplaced as to be ridiculous, it was just an excuse to blow up at Sister. If you like this step-sister and usually have a good relationship with her, then maybe at some point you can get together with her in person and you guys can talk and be friends again, but if you usually have a bad relationship with her, then I would just have ignored her snarky comment or deleted it and not worry about replying at all. -Annie > > Hey, > > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > pizza & coffee. > > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > stand in my way. > > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > not the time. > > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > differ on things like children. > > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > > End of my message to her. > > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > tired of being the damn black sheep. > > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > passive agressive & hurtful. > > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > she deserves & nothing more. > > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > > Justi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 If this step sister is the daughter of the man who is willingly married to your mentally ill nada ... that may tell you something pretty significant about her and her dysfunctions/demands. Be careful not to get sucked into behaviors that may push your nada buttons. (Easier said than done, I know.) Of course it made you angry - it was amazing ridiculous and manipulative, at best. Glad you get some travel time for a breather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 Justi, My brother uses that passive-aggressive tactic, and it makes me really angry too. She could have written you saying, " I would have like to come; I'm sorry I missed it " and you would have told her it was last minute, and it would have been fine. The message she sent was meant to shame you. I, too, am done letting my family members (or anyone else) shame me. > > Hey, > > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > pizza & coffee. > > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > stand in my way. > > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > not the time. > > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > differ on things like children. > > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > > End of my message to her. > > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > tired of being the damn black sheep. > > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > passive agressive & hurtful. > > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > she deserves & nothing more. > > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > > Justi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 I agree that that comment was bait meant to incite you. Here's another reaction to try on for size: write her that you don't appreciate her making snarky comments about your life on facebook. You don't owe her an invite to every social thing that comes up in your life and she can just get over herself. Ah, but the best reaction probably is just to truly ignore it. Anything you say will give more material/ammunition and attention to her. > > Hey, > > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > pizza & coffee. > > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > stand in my way. > > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > not the time. > > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > differ on things like children. > > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > > End of my message to her. > > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > tired of being the damn black sheep. > > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > passive agressive & hurtful. > > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > she deserves & nothing more. > > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > > Justi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 You could always put her on " ignore " . > > > > Hey, > > > > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > > pizza & coffee. > > > > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > > stand in my way. > > > > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > > not the time. > > > > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > > > > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > > differ on things like children. > > > > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > > > > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > > > > End of my message to her. > > > > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > > > > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > > tired of being the damn black sheep. > > > > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > > > > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > > passive agressive & hurtful. > > > > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > > she deserves & nothing more. > > > > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > > > > Justi > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Thank you EVERYONE for your replies! As you can see, I made it safely to Indiana. My dad just so happened to have an extra wireless internet card, so yay! I figured I'd get my computer hooked up so I could listen to music while I unpack. Anyway, yes, when I read that yesterday I believe I did over react. She pushed some 'nada buttons' for sure. See, I don't get it at all... they all act like I have to call them. No one ever calls me. Hell, they don't even call to tell me when people DIE! But I do believe It angered me so much just because of all of the stress I've been under. Man alive... divorce, big move, new job. It's A LOT for any one person to handle. What's really odd, is now that I'm out of state, I'm kind of feeling FREE! They don't know where I am exactly, nor do they have my address or phone number. And yep, I just may utalize the ignore feature on facebook yet again... I have nada on ignore lol. Our relationship is kind of like " hey, Merry Christmas. See you next Christmas " basicly. They have all kinds of bbq's & stuff in the spring & summer that I hear about from nada. Where were my invitations? Where are my invitations to her kids' b.day parties & such? So yes, it took me some time to put it into perspective, but I DO NOT feel guilty. As so many of you said, this IS HER problem not mine. All relationships are 2 way streets, and so much of nada's side of the family thinks it's up to everyone else. They don't put in an effort. Why should I? Beautiful day here in Indiana folks. Hope the weather is nice in your area :-) Oh, and thanks for letting me vent. I was LIVID!!! I feel much better now lol. Justi (who's excited to explore her new area) > > > You could always put her on " ignore " . > > >> > >> > Hey, >> > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for >> > pizza & coffee. >> > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone >> > stand in my way. >> > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is >> > not the time. >> > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. >> > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions >> > differ on things like children. >> > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. >> > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. >> > >> > End of my message to her. >> > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! >> > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. >> > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. >> > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out >> > passive agressive & hurtful. >> > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what >> > she deserves & nothing more. >> > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. >> > >> > Justi >> > >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Thank you EVERYONE for your replies! As you can see, I made it safely to Indiana. My dad just so happened to have an extra wireless internet card, so yay! I figured I'd get my computer hooked up so I could listen to music while I unpack. Anyway, yes, when I read that yesterday I believe I did over react. She pushed some 'nada buttons' for sure. See, I don't get it at all... they all act like I have to call them. No one ever calls me. Hell, they don't even call to tell me when people DIE! But I do believe It angered me so much just because of all of the stress I've been under. Man alive... divorce, big move, new job. It's A LOT for any one person to handle. What's really odd, is now that I'm out of state, I'm kind of feeling FREE! They don't know where I am exactly, nor do they have my address or phone number. And yep, I just may utalize the ignore feature on facebook yet again... I have nada on ignore lol. Our relationship is kind of like " hey, Merry Christmas. See you next Christmas " basicly. They have all kinds of bbq's & stuff in the spring & summer that I hear about from nada. Where were my invitations? Where are my invitations to her kids' b.day parties & such? So yes, it took me some time to put it into perspective, but I DO NOT feel guilty. As so many of you said, this IS HER problem not mine. All relationships are 2 way streets, and so much of nada's side of the family thinks it's up to everyone else. They don't put in an effort. Why should I? Beautiful day here in Indiana folks. Hope the weather is nice in your area :-) Oh, and thanks for letting me vent. I was LIVID!!! I feel much better now lol. Justi (who's excited to explore her new area) > > > You could always put her on " ignore " . > > >> > >> > Hey, >> > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for >> > pizza & coffee. >> > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone >> > stand in my way. >> > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is >> > not the time. >> > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. >> > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions >> > differ on things like children. >> > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. >> > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. >> > >> > End of my message to her. >> > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! >> > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. >> > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. >> > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out >> > passive agressive & hurtful. >> > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what >> > she deserves & nothing more. >> > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. >> > >> > Justi >> > >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Indiana? I spent my life there until last spring when we moved to Ohio. I hope you like it. Sometimes I miss it, but moving back isn't really a possibility for my family. le > >> > > >> > Hey, > >> > > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > >> > pizza & coffee. > >> > > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > >> > stand in my way. > >> > > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > >> > not the time. > >> > > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > >> > > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > >> > differ on things like children. > >> > > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > >> > > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > >> > > >> > End of my message to her. > >> > > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > >> > > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. > >> > > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > >> > > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > >> > passive agressive & hurtful. > >> > > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > >> > she deserves & nothing more. > >> > > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > >> > > >> > Justi > >> > > >> > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Indiana? I spent my life there until last spring when we moved to Ohio. I hope you like it. Sometimes I miss it, but moving back isn't really a possibility for my family. le > >> > > >> > Hey, > >> > > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > >> > pizza & coffee. > >> > > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > >> > stand in my way. > >> > > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > >> > not the time. > >> > > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > >> > > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > >> > differ on things like children. > >> > > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > >> > > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > >> > > >> > End of my message to her. > >> > > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > >> > > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. > >> > > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > >> > > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > >> > passive agressive & hurtful. > >> > > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > >> > she deserves & nothing more. > >> > > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > >> > > >> > Justi > >> > > >> > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 what part of OH ?? I lived in the Toledo area ( sburg) from 1973-1980 Jackie Indiana? I spent my life there until last spring when we moved to Ohio. I hope you like it. Sometimes I miss it, but moving back isn't really a possibility for my family. le Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Justi, Hmmmmm....I wouldn't be surprised if your nada makes it a point to be the go-between for you and the other relatives. My nada does that, and it gives her total control. Perhaps she has set it up this way, and you don't even know it! -Deanna > >> > > >> > Hey, > >> > > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > >> > pizza & coffee. > >> > > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > >> > stand in my way. > >> > > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > >> > not the time. > >> > > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > >> > > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > >> > differ on things like children. > >> > > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > >> > > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > >> > > >> > End of my message to her. > >> > > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > >> > > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. > >> > > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > >> > > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > >> > passive agressive & hurtful. > >> > > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > >> > she deserves & nothing more. > >> > > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > >> > > >> > Justi > >> > > >> > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Justi, Hmmmmm....I wouldn't be surprised if your nada makes it a point to be the go-between for you and the other relatives. My nada does that, and it gives her total control. Perhaps she has set it up this way, and you don't even know it! -Deanna > >> > > >> > Hey, > >> > > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > >> > pizza & coffee. > >> > > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > >> > stand in my way. > >> > > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > >> > not the time. > >> > > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > >> > > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > >> > differ on things like children. > >> > > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > >> > > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > >> > > >> > End of my message to her. > >> > > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > >> > > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. > >> > > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > >> > > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > >> > passive agressive & hurtful. > >> > > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > >> > she deserves & nothing more. > >> > > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > >> > > >> > Justi > >> > > >> > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 BPD establish/maintain their positions in the family circle by often being the gatekeepers. Fills their need for attention and, somehow, squishes their abandonment issues (temporarily) because they are " Important " to those receiving the information. When the " receiver " decides to break ranks and seek the internal family dialog loop themself, there is oftentime %$#% to pay with the gatekeeper. " Gatekeeper " - Gatekeeping (communication) in which a person or organization, known as a gatekeeper manages or constrains the flow of knowledge and information. This is what gave Hitler so much power. Lynnette > > >> > > > >> > Hey, > > >> > > > >> > Last night I didn't know what was going on. Some friends & my teacher > > >> > from class kind of surprised me after our final exam and took me for > > >> > pizza & coffee. > > >> > > > >> > You know, I do feel bad but things happened in a matter of 3 weeks. > > >> > With finals & moving & the divorce, I've been busy. No one's called me > > >> > except my dad's side of the family & friends and my mom is giving me > > >> > the cold shoulder and is not returning calls or emails. I have no idea > > >> > why but I do NOT have time to worry about anything else right now. > > >> > This move is happening regardless of if she's happy about it or not, > > >> > but like I said. I have no clue because she won't speak to me. But > > >> > hey, that's fine. I have a great opportunity and I will not let anyone > > >> > stand in my way. > > >> > > > >> > One of these days maybe I'll tell you more regarding that, but now is > > >> > not the time. > > >> > > > >> > I just want you to know one thing, and I hope you do not believe > > >> > anything you might hear otherwise. I do NOT have bad feelings against > > >> > you AT ALL. Just know that. I care very much about you, your hubby & > > >> > the kids, Step sister #2 & her hubby & their kids & step brother & his > > >> > son. But things between my mom & I are complicated. > > >> > > > >> > She seems to be taking my divorce personally. She hasn't even called > > >> > me to see how I'm doing, yet my dad calls or emails at least three > > >> > times a week. Hell, even STB-ex's family is still supportive. STB-ex & > > >> > I are having an amicable divorce, we're still friendly. We just grew > > >> > apart. We don't want the same things in life anymore and our oppinions > > >> > differ on things like children. > > >> > > > >> > I'm not doing anything to spite anyone. I'm just trying to get on with > > >> > my life. And I really do not need any guilt trips from anyone. I > > >> > understand you are upset and I do appologise for that, but shit > > >> > happened so fast it's been constant & non-stop work every day and then > > >> > they surprised me... I just went with the flow. > > >> > > > >> > Anyway, take care. I don't know what else to say. > > >> > > > >> > End of my message to her. > > >> > > > >> > What pisses me off, is I RARELY get invites from her or her family to > > >> > anything they do. Yes, they did invite us to new year's and we did > > >> > go. I mostly went in a last ditch effort to make nada happy. But, I > > >> > only just figured out that nothing I do will EVER make nada happy. > > >> > And God only knows what lies nada has filled my step siblings' heads > > >> > with. I KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that if I tried to tell them > > >> > what a fucking monster she is, they would NEVER believe me! She puts > > >> > on the act around them. If they only had ANY CLUE of what she has > > >> > said about them all of our lives. OMG... the horrible things she's > > >> > said about them and I NEVER agreed with her on them. Yet, they see > > >> > her as the perfect person, just as she wants them to. I'm sure she > > >> > fills their heads with lies about me and frankly, I want NONE OF IT! > > >> > > > >> > I am so angry right now. I'm shaking. And I'm damn glad I'm moving > > >> > in a few hours. I guess I will have to go NC with everyone & anyone > > >> > who has anything to do with that terrorist, bitch nada of mine. All I > > >> > can do is hope in time they will see her for what she really is. I'm > > >> > tired of being the damn black sheep. > > >> > > > >> > Let them have her. They can all be miserable & clueless together. > > >> > I'm done. And excuse my language in this post but I'm DAMN ANGRY. > > >> > How dare her lay a guilt trip on me like that! I will not stand for > > >> > it. I do not deserve it. And again, why the hell couldn't she have > > >> > called me? That whole side of my family must have those special phones > > >> > that only recieve calls, not dial out. > > >> > > > >> > Anyway, now I need to unhook the computer so I can pack up the UHaul. > > >> > I'm sorry, but I just had to vent. I saw that message and I'm so > > >> > pissed off... I am glad in a way I saw it now so I could post this and > > >> > have time to cool off before I get back online. That was flat out > > >> > passive agressive & hurtful. > > >> > > > >> > See you guys in a few days. NOTHING will stand in the way of my > > >> > happiness. Not step siblings, not nada, not STB-ex's... NOTHING. I'm > > >> > done sacrificing my self in the name of nada and her insanity. She > > >> > can rot in hell for all I care. Harsh, but she's only done this to > > >> > herself. Well, not ONLY to herself... to me too. She's getting what > > >> > she deserves & nothing more. > > >> > > > >> > Ok, I'm done now. Sorry. > > >> > > > >> > Justi > > >> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Husband got a job in Lima. We live in Hardin county in Amish country. I don't think we'll stay around here, but it works for now! le > > what part of OH ?? I lived in the Toledo area ( sburg) from 1973-1980 > > Jackie > > > Indiana? I spent my life there until last spring when we moved to Ohio. I > hope you like it. Sometimes I miss it, but moving back isn't really a > possibility for my family. > > le > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 I don't know much about IN, but I'm in down state IL....a very rural area.. Jackie My husband and I would love to move to Indiana, specifically the Brown County area. We visit there frequently and love it. Far nicer than Chicagoland. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Well, Step sis replied to my note on facebook this morning... I posted that I made it safe to Indiana & was getting settled in. She was not passive agressive at all this time lol. She wrote " I'm glad you got there ok. Do me a favor, call your mom. She's worried. " Hm, let me think about that a second. No. She had 3 weeks to call me. I emailed her once, called & left messages twice. 3 strikes, you're out. I will not call my nada. Even though there is that huge part of me that wants to, I only know it will result in an argument. I can't give in, no matter how much that little girl in me hopes that this will be the one chance for a loving mother. It will never happen. Step sis can tell her I'm ok if she's that worried. I'm not calling her. I mourned for many years for the mother I'll never have... her turn to mourn for her own mistakes. Sounds cruel, but so was all the abuse she put me through my entire life. And yes, Indiana! I like it here so much. I lived in the metro-detroit area before. It's so hustle bustle & busy there. It's just a little quieter & laid back here. And people seem friendlier. And though I'm not far from a large-ish city, at night it's darker at night & I can see the stars. That always makes me happy. The family I'm working for are WONDERFUL! The mom is my age and she's really nice. We went out & about today & went garage saleing lol. The kids are super! I woke up this morning to the little one (5 years old) staring at me while I was asleep!! I just smiled big at her and said " Good morning sweetie! " and gave her a big hug. They're GOOD kids. I feel very welcome here and comfortable. The kids were cute last, night. They outside when we pulled up & had made a big " welcome home " sign for me on a piece of posterboard! I hung it on the wall in my bedroom hehe. I think this is a fabulous opportunity. I'm very happy with my decision! And yay for a 4 year university in the fall :-) Justi > > > I don't know much about IN, but I'm in down state IL....a very rural area.. > > Jackie > > My husband and I would love to move to Indiana, specifically the Brown > County area. We visit there frequently and love it. Far nicer than > Chicagoland. > > 2 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 I woke up this morning to the little one (5 years old) > staring at me while I was asleep!! I just smiled big at her and said > " Good morning sweetie! " and gave her a big hug. They're GOOD kids. I > feel very welcome here and comfortable. > > The kids were cute last, night. They outside when we pulled up & had > made a big " welcome home " sign for me on a piece of posterboard! I > hung it on the wall in my bedroom hehe. Oh this is so precious Justi, and the perfect gift of love and acceptance that you need right now. Yay for this sweet family!!! re: your step-sis - maybe part of the reason she asked you to call is to get herself out of the place where she has to listen to nada drama. Obviously it's her job to get herself out of that spot, not yours. But it could highlight the systemic dysfunction in the family. Glad you are out of state now. Oh, and I'm with you - NOTHING like a clear, starry night to inspire awe and humility. Amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Yeah , this is just what I need. To be a part of a healthy family. They feel as lucky as I do to be in this situation lol. I told the mom that I was so greatful to get this job and she said " you don't know how greatful we are to find you! " I feel great! Feeling a little down that my mom might genuinely feel woried, but I can't let it get to me. I'm keeping plenty busy today though unpacking & all. So I'll just have to keep myself occupied to keep my mind off of it. Till I can find a new therapist & vent lol. Justi > > > > > I woke up this morning to the little one (5 years old) >> staring at me while I was asleep!! I just smiled big at her and said >> " Good morning sweetie! " and gave her a big hug. They're GOOD kids. I >> feel very welcome here and comfortable. >> >> The kids were cute last, night. They outside when we pulled up & had >> made a big " welcome home " sign for me on a piece of posterboard! I >> hung it on the wall in my bedroom hehe. > > Oh this is so precious Justi, and the perfect gift of love and acceptance > that you need right now. Yay for this sweet family!!! > > re: your step-sis - maybe part of the reason she asked you to call is to get > herself out of the place where she has to listen to nada drama. Obviously > it's her job to get herself out of that spot, not yours. But it could > highlight the systemic dysfunction in the family. Glad you are out of state > now. Oh, and I'm with you - NOTHING like a clear, starry night to inspire > awe and humility. Amazing. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 great news, Justi, and stick to your guns... Jackie Well, Step sis replied to my note on facebook this morning... I posted that I made it safe to Indiana & was getting settled in. She was not passive agressive at all this time lol. She wrote " I'm glad you got there ok. Do me a favor, call your mom. She's worried. " Hm, let me think about that a second. No. She had 3 weeks to call me. I emailed her once, called & left messages twice. 3 strikes, you're out. I will not call my nada. Even though there is that huge part of me that wants to, I only know it will result in an argument. I can't give in, no matter how much that little girl in me hopes that this will be the one chance for a loving mother. It will never happen. Step sis can tell her I'm ok if she's that worried. I'm not calling her. I mourned for many years for the mother I'll never have... her turn to mourn for her own mistakes. Sounds cruel, but so was all the abuse she put me through my entire life. And yes, Indiana! I like it here so much. I lived in the metro-detroit area before. It's so hustle bustle & busy there. It's just a little quieter & laid back here. And people seem friendlier. And though I'm not far from a large-ish city, at night it's darker at night & I can see the stars. That always makes me happy. The family I'm working for are WONDERFUL! The mom is my age and she's really nice. We went out & about today & went garage saleing lol. The kids are super! I woke up this morning to the little one (5 years old) staring at me while I was asleep!! I just smiled big at her and said " Good morning sweetie! " and gave her a big hug. They're GOOD kids. I feel very welcome here and comfortable. The kids were cute last, night. They outside when we pulled up & had made a big " welcome home " sign for me on a piece of posterboard! I hung it on the wall in my bedroom hehe. I think this is a fabulous opportunity. I'm very happy with my decision! And yay for a 4 year university in the fall :-) Justi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Justi - Ten to one Nada wants your new contact information. That would be reasonable in " normal mom world " but is a form of ammunition and control in " nada world. " Just what you've decided to withhold or limit. That's why she's " worried, " I betcha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 Oh I agree . And I'm just not comfortable giving it to her. It's just amunition. Justi > > > Justi - Ten to one Nada wants your new contact information. That would be > reasonable in " normal mom world " but is a form of ammunition and control in > " nada world. " Just what you've decided to withhold or limit. That's why > she's " worried, " I betcha. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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