Re: Did your BPD parent...

[Guest guest]

Shopping with nada...ahhhhhh - lots of fun. My memories of shopping with nada

are that I pick out what I want to try on and am in and out of the fitting room

in less than 15 minutes. Nada wanders through the store " help me pick out

something " . When I do. " oh, that's not my style " or she will scrutinize it 20

different ways before she might agree to try it on. Once she makes it to the

fitting room. There is lots of muttering and then the door flies open and she

emerges to admire herself in the mirror. Turn left, turn right, turn backward,

look at butt, suck in stomach, press stomach, tug on clothing. " how does this

look?.. " Then back in, close the door, more sputtering, door flies open again,

out steps the queen.. " how does this look?.. " begins to admire self in mirror

from 87 different angles again. " I'm not sure if I like this...do you like

this?...maybe I need a smaller size?..I'm not sure if this fits..does this

fit?...maybe I need a bigger size..Does this make me look too matronly?...Do you

like this better than the other?....let me try on the other one again..Do you

think they have it in blue?...Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back. " Then back

in, close the door, and it continues on and on and on for at least 40 minutes.

Inevitabely after about the fourth or fifth outfit, I'm sent to find different

sizes and colors. Then she has to try on all of those. When she asks if it fits

or what I think, god help me if I don't respond to her or she'll stand there

looking like a crazed animal ready to pounce on me. It usually starts out with

snide comments, then it switches to and how she doesn't see me that much and I'm

all she has left..blah, blah, blah.. She'll then sniffle like a child about how

she needs help and I have such good taste and she doesn't want to inconvenience

me, but if I could be patient and wait just a little longer because she won't be

that much longer. Finally, when she almost decides on something she says " Do you

think I should get this?...What do you think? "

The woman is insufferable!!

Abby

> > >...ever spend time with you?

> > >

> > >I think beyond all else in this entire world, all I ever wanted

> > >was for my

> > >mother to spend time with me and make me feel special and for

> > >once, make a

> > >moment about me and not about herself. I wanted her to take my

> > >shopping,

> > >go out to eat, go to a movie, have a girls day out like I do

> > >with my own

> > >daughter. And the older I got, the more I started seeking this

> > >from outside

> > >people. I became close with a friend's mother and then that

> > >friend and I

> > >had a falling out, which meant I could no longer be friends

> > >with her mother.

> > >It was devastating for me.

> > >

> > >I feel like I kind of do this " I need a mommy " thing with

> > >my therapist. I

> > >hate her daughter, lol. Her daughter doesn't even know I

> > >exist, but I

> > >have seen her pictures in my therapist's office and I

> > >can't help but feel that

> > >jealously rise up in me...like why couldn't she have been

> > >MY mother and

> > >then I wouldn't be struggling with all of these issues.....

> > >

> > >One of the ways I get some healing is being close with my own

> > >daughter.

> > >She's only 8 now, but I can't wait for the day she is older and

> > >we become best

> > > friends. I so much want to be close with her and having a

> > > loving, good

> > >relationship. I mean, I want the same with my two boys too.

> > >

> > >My daughter and I did a little online " interview your child "

> > >thing the

> > >other day and one of the questions was " what do you enjoy doing

> > >with your

> > >mom? " My daughter said she liked when I paint fingernails and

> > >she gets to help

> > >with laundry.

> > >

> > >Such simple things that are special to her. Things I never had

> > >with my

> > >mother.

> >

> > --

> > Katrina

> >

>