Elana - Re Weight Loss Buddies] I'm back......

[Guest guest]

Hi Elana and welcome back,

I missed you. Glad that you now feel back in the land of the living.

It's great to know that you went back to the workshop - less than half of the

original people were brave enough to face it so there is a REALLY positive step

you have achieved. Allow yourself the luxury of feeling good about your

achievements. Be positive, think to yourself 'what is one thing I really want

to achieve today?'. It might be something small (I'm going to read 10 pages of

my book), it may be something which involves a bit more work (I'm going to tidy

out 3 of the cupboards in the kitchen), it might be to start something long term

(like going to the course), it doesn't matter what it is so long as you know

that you CAN achieve it that day if you put your mind to it. At the end of the

day look back and enjoy the fact that you have achieved whatever you set out to

achieve that day. Is that worthy of praise? Of COURSE it is, so give yourself

a mental 'pat on the back'. You know you have achieved something and you know

that tomorrow will be just the same.

Of course you can't change the way you feel about yourself overnight. Just like

gaining a lot of weight your negative feelings about yourself have probably been

accumulating for many years. We all know that we aren't going to wake up

tomorrow at our ideal weight but we are all working to get there eventually.

How are we doing it? By taking small steps. B7ychanging our habits fro the

better, beginning with smaller things and going on from there when the time is

right. By taking a realistic approach and finding a system/programme/plan that

suits us and feels just right. That way we know we CAN eventually succeed.

Well, it's just the same with a poor self-image. Elana, believe me, I am

speaking from personal experience. I spent 23 years married to a man who got me

to the stage when I believed his opinion of me - I was convinced that I WAS,

just as he kept telling me, a complete waste of space. By taking the 'baby

steps' we talk about in relation to weight loss we CAN turn this around. The

only thing you need to do is to acknowledge to yourself that you ARE entitled to

feel good about yourself. Give yourself permission to feel positive because you

are the best person to do that. Then having assured yourself that it is OK to

feel good about yourself you won't feel undeserving of your little successes.

There may well still be things about yourself that you see as negatives but

CONCENTRATE ON EACH POSITIVE STEP, the negatives will gradually seem less

important. They may still be there but you just don't allow them to rule your

life. Concentrate on each and every positive step and you won't have time left

to worry about other things. Give yourself praise every time you take the time

to make a contribution to WLB. That's a really good one to start with because

you know for sure that you CAN achieve that.

>>> You guys are the greatest. Don't know what I would do without you.<<<

Hey Elana, you're one of us and we feel just the same way about you too.

>>>>i have let myself slip and it is time to get back on the wagon.<<<<

More positives - you have decided to tackle the challenge. Good for you!!

>>> I have only exercised twice this week<<<

That's twice more than a lot of people, including me. Well done

>>>so i need to fix that <<<<

another positive !!! You have realised where you slipped up and know what to do

to turn it around

>>>> i am on my way back and with your guys help i will get there.<<<<

POSITIVE, POSITIVE, POSITIVE

>>>i feel a little bad that all my posts come much later then the postings. i

usually see the messages the next day since i am on a different time zone so

please bear with me.<<<

Me too, I'm in western Europe. Just think how full our in boxes would be if

EVERYONE posted at the same time. I think it is a real plus to have the

incoming mails 'staggered' through the day.

>>>>as i mentioned earlier i find it extremely hard to talk about my feelings

especially to strangers<<<<

But you DID it, even though you don't like speaking about your feelings in

public. I read somewhere that the fear of speaking in public is one of the 4

worst fears of many people. Not only did you talk in public but you spoke about

emotional/personal issues which is even more difficult. Now, if ANYTHING is

worthy of a dose of your own self praise that is. You know it was painful for

you but you also know you did it. Just sit down to reflect and acknowledge that

YOU ACHIEVED IT. Promise me Elana, just enjoy your sense of achievement for 5

minutes without letting any buts/self doubts/I should haves/I could have done it

betters creep into your thoughts. 5 minutes a day is not long and you owe it to

yourself. Think not only about what you have achieved but also where it can

lead you - more confidence in speaking in a group/a better understanding of your

emotional eating which is an important step in your weight loss quest. Think to

the FUTURE, you can't undo the past so no point worrying about that. Just focus

on the POSITIVE things you know you can create for your future.

>>>>asked if i would like feedback from the group and maybe that would help. i

agreed and everyone there said positive things in relation to my image<<<<<

Would it help if you actually wrote down some of those positive things other

people said about you? Use them as affirmations. Accept them and don't try to

prove them wrong. Accept that YOU, ELANA are a person with so many good

qualities. Remember that none of us is perfect but if everyone concentrated on

their negative aspects the world would be a sadder place. Accept that you, just

as all of us, are not perfect but that there is a lot to be positive and self

assured about.

>>>> i couldn't believe all the positive nice things they were saying about me.

they had never really met me or know me and yet all these things they were

saying about me were like " so not true " <<<

Ask yourself WHY they said these things. Listen to what they're re saying and

ask yourself 'how would I feel about Elana if I had just met her?' The fact

that they have said these things proves that there are so many positive things

about you. They aren't likely to be deliberately misleading you so ask yourself

what qualities in you they have commented on and then stand back and look at

yourself as an outsider - see only the positives and ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE THERE,

A PART OF YOU.

>>>i was like " if you really knew me you wouldn't say such things " . this is my

real downfall. i have no self confidence and i don't really like myself and can

never find nice things to say about myself.<<<

So, start with the nice things that other people say and build on that. Accept

that they are YOUR qualities and that they are great qualities.

>>> it was a real shocker that these strangers could see all these nice things

and positive things in me that i can't see<<<

Not me Elana. I would have been shocked if they hadn't seen them. If you want

something REALLY positive to reflect on think about the fact that YOU, YOU, YOU

are the first person in my 57 years who has ever made me accept the challenge of

exercising. Believe me that is a MONUMENTAL achievement

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>> well this is a long workshop (6 months) so hopefully i will change and be a

better person. i really need to work

on myself.<<<<

Hey Elana, not BETTER but DIFFERENT. Ok agreed.

>>>well i weighed myself this morning and i am down 1.5 pounds of the 4 i gained

which is a good start.<<<<

Great work and another positive thought. Fantastic.

>>>>Thanks for being the best group on the web<<<<

And thank YOU for being part of it.

All my best wishes to you,

Marie