Re: Question about deafness

[Guest guest]

Hey, you teach, I'll sign up! The only comment I will make is I get by

mostly by speechreading also, as I know no one deaf in the area; I do so-so.

But at the NF2 Con, where many people have facial paralysis, I am clueless.

Speechreading does not work; that is the only reason I would like to learn

sign! Marie

Re: Question about deafness

>Marcus I love , and the rest of you. This is simply an observation. In

Vegas I

>was astounded at how many said they did not sign but used lip reading,

then,

>could not hold a conversation without writing on paper. Being total

deafened

>makes speech reading 100 times harder than if you were just HOH, I cannot

>believe you guys are getting these convrsations simply by speechreading.

i'd

>bet you miss a lot more than you realize and people often have to clarify

in

>writing. In the case of at work, well you cant expect people to sign so you

>have no choice, but in marcus and nathans case, a teacher and a boss man,

they

>are in control of the talking most of the time, i too can speech reach if

im

>asking the questions and can anticipate an answer. but its impossible to be

>spontaneous. and at home, using sign with family ad friends, even simply

>finger spelling has kept me sane and lines of communication open and allows

N

>OCCASIONAL SPONTANEOUS CONVERSATION. I would not be happy writing

everything

>out 24/7. And I know the limits of speechreading. I'd like to teach a

class

>tonext years con's attendees.

>

>

>

>

>

>> Wrote : I lip-read as my main form of communication.

>>

>> Me too , I run a company this way, in fact I have to look the other

>> way when the Mrs is lecturing me about stuff. We only occasionally use

the

>> finger spelt alphabet .

>> Example : Mrs speaks and I interpret as : " You done it now, your in deep

>> spit.... "

>>

>> Now this makes no sense to me at all so I get the Mrs to clarify signing

one

>> letter at a time.

>>

>> Under the thumb and loving it DoWnUnder

>> Marcus

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

--- Marcus wrote:

> in fact I

> have to look the other

> way when the Mrs is lecturing me about stuff.

Yeah! the other day, driving home from Dallas,

Christi (who was driving) was talking away. I

reclined my seat back to get some rest, and she said,

" I can't talk to you that way. "

I said, " I know! "

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi June:

I know how you feel, though. I think we are terrified of communicating with a deaf blind person the first time (and the second...) because we are so afraid of making mistakes. I remember all too vividly the first time I was placed in this situation. I was working closely with the deafblind coordinator in our state and he knew I was scared. He brought a COMPLETELY deaf and blind man into my office who depends on tactile sign for communication. He introduced him to me and said, "I am going out for lunch. Bye you two." He left and I stood there with my mouth open for a few moments and then thought to myself, "Suck it up and get over there." I sat down and started off by profusely apologizing to this guy for my lousy communication skills. He was wonderful. He seemed to understand almost everything I told him the first time and after about ten minutes I forgot he was deafblind. He taught me a valuable lesson about communication and gave me the courage I needed to work in this area. I have found almost every deafblind person I have met to be extremely appreciative of each and every effort made to communicate with them and feel lucky that this special man came into my life.

Thanks for sharing your experience, June.

Bette

Bette

[Guest guest]

Hi :

Interesting response. I don't think I have ever "accepted" deafness but have, instead, "adapted" to it. I think there is a difference.

Bette

[Guest guest]

In repy to thew vacuum story, I have acciodent unplugged the ole vac many a time

and not realize it. evidently they dont vibrate well, pls dont hold that

against, has

notrhing to do withh er awareness level.

Larnard- wrote:

> I tried something with Karina the other day and would like your input. Karina

was vacuuming her room and I turned off the vacuum without her knowing and she

just

> kept on vacuuming and didn't seem to know that I had turned it off. Don't the

deaf learn to tell from the vibrations that it is working? Is there something I

can

> do to help Karina's awareness level? I always though the body made up for one

sense being missing. Karina can hear some things like a piano sometimes with her

ABI

> but in our home she tends to not wear it. I am starting to refuse to

communicate unless she wears it. With her ABI on she can read my lips fairly

well without it

> very little communication is understood and we both get frustrated.

>

> JD about my son and the MRI we tried our darnedest to get him to have an MRI

when he was 17 and he is now 26 and still refuses to get one and so our hands

are

> tied. I found out this is not uncommon and if he ever decides to have any

children I will try to get him to go to genetic counseling.

> in Colorado

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I dont live with deaf signers and are rarely around them, but.... friends and

family took a whole hour of their time to at least

learn to fingerspell and that is a tremendous help to me. I think anyone who

loves the person who became deaf should take the

effort to visually coommunicate wuith them, a little signing goes a long way

with speechreading. I do think Bettes reply was

harsh, but I do agree with the gist of what she is saying. And also remember

Karina is going thru grief, we all do when we lose

hearing or anything. stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, bargaining and

acceptance. took me 6 years to finally accept my

fate as a deaf person. I am 32 btw.

Pete Brayman wrote:

> So, what do you suggest we do?

>

> In a hearing world (last I checked it's what most of us live in)

>

> People don't want to take the time to write to you if they can get away

without it (been there, done that, have the t-shirt)

>

> Most people do not sign.

>

> Some form of communication with other people is required at times.

>

> Lipreading while not perfect, seems like a good compromise.

>

> Pete

>

>

> > :

> >

> > Can you lipread men who have hair on their lips?

> > Can you lipread people who do not face you directly?

> > Can you lipread children?

> > Can you lipread people who have accents?

> > Can you lipread people who have additional disabilites which make their llp

> > movements distorted?

> > Can you lipread people when it is dusk?

> > Can you lipread people in a dark restaurant?

> > Can you lipread people in an ultra bright lites environment?

> > Can you lipread people when you are exhausted?

> > Can you lipread people when you are ill?

> > Can you lipread people when you are on narcotics?

> > Can you lipread people who are talking really fast?

> > Can you.....

> >

> > I think you get my drift. We cannot control our enviornment for the

majority

> > of the day. We adapt to the conditions. Life would be passing me by if I

> > depended on lipreading. I have too many other people attempt to lipread,

> > think they got the jist of the message and then find out later it was

totally

> > off...sometimes with disastrous results.

> >

> > I got the 20% figure from reseach. I also base my opinion on working with a

> > WIDE variety of deaf, hard or hearing, deafened and deafblind people

everyday.

> >

> > If you can lipread well, you are one of the lucky ones.

> >

> > Bette

>

> --

> Brayman ICQ # 66709621

>

> " The Great part about being deaf is, it's easy to ignore all the jerks "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--- Marcus wrote:

> Wrote :

> many said they did not sign but used lip reading,

then, could not hold a conversation without writing on

paper.

>

> Marcus replied :

> I do lip read my immediate family at about 98%

accuracy. No paper used here and very little sign.

added:

Ditto here, . I will agree that being in charge

during class or during practice helps, but I lip-read

wherever I go. I don't use pen or paper, either, with

very rare exceptions (occasionally in class, for

example). If I go to the store, or to a restaurant,

etc., my lip-reading is fine. Same with my family and

friends.

The only time lip-reading does not work for me is in a

situation like a faculty meeting or an inservice,

where the speaker is up front and addressing a group

of people. In this case, I sit next to another coach,

who lets me know what is being said.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Well i have found that with my ABI i understand twice as much as i do with out it and i very glad i got it.... but not everyone has an ABI...learning to lipread takes time and practice... they tought me at school well some

[Guest guest]

OHH man! I want an ABI!! But my insurance wont have it. I do have Social Security now. im wondering if they will pay for it.

Well i have found that with my ABI i understand twice as much as i do with out it and i very glad i got it.... but not everyone has an ABI...learning to lipread takes time and practice... they tought me at school well some

[Guest guest]

--- Lori Phibbs wrote:

> i havent gotten to the acceptance very well, Im

> swinging from anger and remorse. Acceptance is a

> part of the grieving process though. I am GRIEVING

> my hearing loss:( to not hear my children's voices

> or that of my husband, or rain or the fire in the

> woodstove:( I am grieving very much. Hard reality

> to accept that it is gone and tho an ABI is great,

> its not the same. ~~Lori who is sad:(

Hey, Lori....

I've been deaf 10 years now (about 1/3 of my life,

which is hard to believe). It's still hard at times,

but it does get better. Most times, I don't even

think about it any more. However, I do get depressed

occasionally, especially at not being able to hear

Reagan's always-present laughter. I've never actually

heard my wife or daughter, or my in-laws. My parents

have passed, and my brother lives in Japan. Seems

like everyone whose voices I HAVE heard are gone!

But whenever I get in a funk- which is fairly

infrequent now- I just realize how lucky I am to have

Reagan and Christi at all. I'm dripping sap, here, I

know, but just letting you know that, even though the

episodes of depression may not ever go away entirely,

they do become manageable!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Lori

be sure to get on AIM tomorrow and chat with us. Dont know if we will be able to help you accept your deafness but we will at least be able to make ya smile for awhile!

Jeffro!

-----Original Message-----From: Lori Phibbs Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2001 3:12 PMTo: NF2_Crew Subject: Re: Question about deafness

i havent gotten to the acceptance very well, Im swinging from anger and remorse. Acceptance is a part of the grieving process though. I am GRIEVING my hearing loss:( to not hear my children's voices or that of my husband, or rain or the fire in the woodstove:( I am grieving very much. Hard reality to accept that it is gone and tho an ABI is great, its not the same. ~~Lori who is sad:(

[Guest guest]

Thanks , your a love:) Christi is a lucky lady:)~~Lowi:)

Re: Question about deafness

>

>

> Hey, Lori....

>

> I've been deaf 10 years now (about 1/3 of my life,

> which is hard to believe). It's still hard at times,

> but it does get better.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jeff, Im lucky to have a pal lke you!! I think the P/T has me down, thats why im so depressed and worry about Jimmy too:( Ill look for you, promise~~ Lowi who has broken down and took pain med I AM SO WEAK!!

RE: Question about deafness

Lori

be sure to get on AIM tomorrow and chat with us. Dont know if we will be able to help you accept your deafness but we will at least be able to make ya smile for awhile!

Jeffro!

[Guest guest]

Donna,

I really enjoyed your post and the spirit which you had regarding the missed

fun and " regular " life that NF2 kids and adults, for that matter, must

endure. I would guess that some of " s behavior is due to her age, not

just her loss. You do a great job and I can't even imagine living in your

situation the way you do. You have such poise, hospitality,compassion and

understanidng. Hello from us in California.

[Guest guest]

HELLO BETTE,

YES I HAVE VISION PROBLEMS CAUSED BY THE FACIAL PARALYSIS. I HAVE A GOLD WEIGHT IN BOTH EYE LIDS. SOME DAYS THE VISION IS WORSE THAN OTHERS A LOT DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH I READ OR WATCH TV OR AM ON THE PC. ALL OF THESE THINGS MAKE MY VISION BAD. SOMETIMES MY GLASSES HELP OTHER TIMES THEY DON'T. THE DOCTORS ALL SAY THIS IS JUST THE WAY IT IS .

YES WITH MY ABI I LIP READ VERY WELL IN FACT OFTEN I FORGET I AM DEAF. MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS DO GREAT WITH ME IF I MISS SOMETHING THEY REPEAT OR FINGER SPELL OR WRITE. I AM VERY SLOW AT SIGN AND WORSE AT READING IT.

I KNOW THE BASICS AND THE ALPHABET AS DOES MY FAMILY. THIS WORKS FINE FOR ME. I DO NOT KNOW MANY PEOPLE WHO SIGN. WHEN I WAS TAKING SIGN CLASS I DID MUCH BETTER AS I WAS IN TOUCH WITH DEAF PEOPLE AND COULD PRACTICE. I WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT MY ABI.

BLESSINGS,

CATHERINE

-----Original Message-----From: BMP300@... Sent: Monday, June 25, 2001 9:18 PMTo: NF2_Crew Subject: Re: Question about deafnessCATHERINE - PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND. YOU ARE VISUALLY IMPAIRED AND YOU DEPEND ON LIP READING??? Bette