Re: How are you?

[Guest guest]

I agree that " How are you? " is just a social greeting. Prior to chronic pain, I

used to answer the question with nonsense things like " It is raining green

zebras " . About 90 percent of the people at work would just nod and walk on by.

For the 10 percent who would stop, most of them just were confused by the answer

and wanted it re-stated and then would wander off. For those folks, I could get

by with " Just

another day in paradise " .

A few, very few people wanted to know actual details. But they still used the

" How are you? " as a social greeting and an opener into a deeper conversation

about my emotional, social, physical and/or work life. Such as " How are you?

That was a rough meeting. " or " How are you? You look sad. " or " How are you? Is

your blood sugar low? Can I get you a can of 7-Up or something? "

Now, when people ask me " How are you? " they want to take a temperature since

they cannot always tell just by looking at me. So I tell them things like

" Okay " , " Today is somewhat challenging. " or " It is very challenging today. " It

lets them know how I am without going into a litany of symptoms. It also gives

them a clue as to how much help I might need today. Whether they should

initiate any deep conversations that they might want me to remember the next

day.

I am thinking of going back to sarcastic things like " Just another day in

paradise. " Maybe I will incorporate my grandfather answers. He used to say " I

am still here, aren't I? " or " Alive " .

>Wayne writes:

The one thing I'll never understand is why do the people in our life that know

and are able to understand our condition still so stupid that when they see us,

they always say, " Oh hi, " How are you? "

[Guest guest]

> Bennie wrote:

> Breathing is appropriate reply.

I like that! Thanks.

[Guest guest]

> Bennie wrote:

> Only one time did my questioning get me in trouble, there was a little old man

we treated that always held on to his penis really tight and I arrogantly told

him " Let go of your penis, it is inappropriate and not nice " Well, he did and

peed all over me. He was incontinent and needed a catheter put in. He held

himself so tight we would call him the " purple throbber " , not mean, though.

Bennie,

Giggle, giggle! You have just made my evening if not my week! Normally I cannot

pee on command. Doctors often surprise me with wanting a urine sample. If I

can take it home that is fine. But while in-patient it is difficult and usually

comedic. I have usually already given one urine sample when the anesthetist

wants another. So I usually have a bag of saline or two with nurses coming in

asking if I can pee yet. My husband just rolls his eyes. Nope, catheterize me

if you are in a hurry or up the flow rate. I am the reason why your surgery

schedules are screwed up.

[Guest guest]

My usual response is " I have good days and bad days, but today I am so-so. " It

is true and people accept it without any more questions. I used to get annoyed

that people kept asking, but then I began to realize how lucky I was to have

people that cared enough to ask. I guess when people see me they automatically

relate me to all my spinal problems.

DonnaJean

> Lori wrote:

> I'm tempted to say, " I took advice and got over what people say is all in my

head and I'm all better! " Ergh!