Loved ones and the way they don't exactly help.....

[Guest guest]

, I bet a lot of us totally identify. NO ONE understood my

situation all those years I was on T4-only meds and couldn't do a

thing without terrible consequences. And the spouses can be just as

unknowingly bad.

And just cope?? Oh my---that's a hit in the side. It's not fun to

cope with this kind of fatigue. When you mentioned that your arm

felt like it was lifting a piano---I SO IDENTIFY. Many years ago,

when I tried to play volleyball on a neighborhood team, I had the

exact same result. After only 20 minutes, and the total inability to

get the ball over the net, I walked home, and my arms felt like lead

weights for hours. Awful.

Anyone identify with loved ones who don't exactly help??

Janie

> I returned from a dr appt a few weeks ago, My wife looked at the

bill in disgust, and said

> something about not being able to keep spending money like this.

> I told her I agreed, that this was the last straw, and that I was

> ordering the med on the internet and I was through with doctors.

> She gave me The Look (you ladies know the one I mean).

> So I asked her, " Well, then, what do you suggest? " She looked

> exasperated for a moment, then just said, " Cope! " .

>

> Now, I love her to death, we've been married 20 years & 3 kids and

>I'm lucky to have her. I've just learned that this is one thing I

>can't really discuss with her.

>When I tell her that I'm becoming too stupid to do my job, or that

>moving my arm feels like lifting a piano, she thinks I'm

>exaggerating. But I'm not. I've lifted pianos before, I know what

>I'm talking about. :-)

[Guest guest]

Yes, definitely, I think we all can identify with that. In my case I

believe it started when I got mono at 17 then Epstein-Barr. The fatigue

is so debilitating and YES I could not lift my arms!! Anyway, before I

got the diagnosis of Epstein Barr my mother " humored " me by taking me to

her favorite " doctor " . He told me I'm over the mono, I'm fine and it's

all in my head (never tested me even though I told him I thought it was

Epstein-Barr). After we got home my mom told my dad and they had a good

laugh over it. They were laughing at my disability. I think only the

people on this and other boards like this one could fully understand how

hurtful that was and still is. My father is now gone and my mom and I

have a rocky relationship. I know she's all alone but I can't stand

spending more than 5 minutes with her. Is it any wonder?

Loved ones and the way they

don't exactly help.....

, I bet a lot of us totally identify. NO ONE understood my

situation all those years I was on T4-only meds and couldn't do

a

thing without terrible consequences. And the spouses can be just

as

unknowingly bad.

And just cope?? Oh my---that's a hit in the side. It's not fun

to

cope with this kind of fatigue. When you mentioned that your arm

felt like it was lifting a piano---I SO IDENTIFY. Many years

ago,

when I tried to play volleyball on a neighborhood team, I had

the

exact same result. After only 20 minutes, and the total

inability to

get the ball over the net, I walked home, and my arms felt like

lead

weights for hours. Awful.

Anyone identify with loved ones who don't exactly help??

Janie

> I returned from a dr appt a few weeks ago, My wife looked at

the

bill in disgust, and said

> something about not being able to keep spending money like

this.

> I told her I agreed, that this was the last straw, and that I

was

> ordering the med on the internet and I was through with

doctors.

> She gave me The Look (you ladies know the one I mean).

> So I asked her, " Well, then, what do you suggest? " She looked

> exasperated for a moment, then just said, " Cope! " .

>

> Now, I love her to death, we've been married 20 years & 3 kids

and

>I'm lucky to have her. I've just learned that this is one

thing I

>can't really discuss with her.

>When I tell her that I'm becoming too stupid to do my job, or

that

>moving my arm feels like lifting a piano, she thinks I'm

>exaggerating. But I'm not. I've lifted pianos before, I know

what

>I'm talking about. :-)

[Guest guest]

,

As Janie said alot of us can identify. I haven't seen or heard from my

sister-in-law for 4 months because she doesn't know what to do or say. She only

lives 9 miles away. When people ask how you are you just start saying fine

because you feel like an idoit to continue to say that you feel like crap! How

can it go on so long? Why can't the doctors do anything? I am starting to

believe that the only people who can truly identify with how we feel or what is

going on with us are those people who walk in the same shoes.

Deborah

Loved ones and the way they don't exactly

help.....

, I bet a lot of us totally identify. NO ONE understood my

situation all those years I was on T4-only meds and couldn't do a

thing without terrible consequences. And the spouses can be just as

unknowingly bad.

And just cope?? Oh my---that's a hit in the side. It's not fun to

cope with this kind of fatigue. When you mentioned that your arm

felt like it was lifting a piano---I SO IDENTIFY. Many years ago,

when I tried to play volleyball on a neighborhood team, I had the

exact same result. After only 20 minutes, and the total inability to

get the ball over the net, I walked home, and my arms felt like lead

weights for hours. Awful.

Anyone identify with loved ones who don't exactly help??

Janie

> I returned from a dr appt a few weeks ago, My wife looked at the

bill in disgust, and said

> something about not being able to keep spending money like this.

> I told her I agreed, that this was the last straw, and that I was

> ordering the med on the internet and I was through with doctors.

> She gave me The Look (you ladies know the one I mean).

> So I asked her, " Well, then, what do you suggest? " She looked

> exasperated for a moment, then just said, " Cope! " .

>

> Now, I love her to death, we've been married 20 years & 3 kids and

>I'm lucky to have her. I've just learned that this is one thing I

>can't really discuss with her.

>When I tell her that I'm becoming too stupid to do my job, or that

>moving my arm feels like lifting a piano, she thinks I'm

>exaggerating. But I'm not. I've lifted pianos before, I know what

>I'm talking about. :-)

[Guest guest]

>>Why can't the doctors do anything?

I always have two answers to that: one, they are robots of their

medical school training, which sucks when it comes to thyroid

treatment, and 2) they are under the auspices of a governing board

which could suspend their licenses, as happened to Derry in Canada.

>>I am starting to believe that the only people who can truly

identify with how we feel or what is going on with us are those

people who walk in the same shoes.

I am walking with you. I have been there. Miserable, debilitating,

crippling fatigue for 17 years.

Janie

[Guest guest]

Hi EveryOne,

I have learned that when anyone has an illness where symptoms don't " show "

they will not be understood or dealt with as if they are ill. For example my

son had Lyme Disease for several years and the school thought we were

keeping him out of school on purpose and that he was faking even though at

times he had to walk on crutches. Then my second son had Chronic Fatigue

from Epstein Barr and sometimes he didn't look sick either, - though he was

totally exhausted most of the time. In both cases they were young around 12

or so and quite sick yet some of their teachers gave them zeros if they didn

t get work in on time or whatever. It was devastating to each of them.

My turn: word reached me a year or so ago that members of my family

considered me " lazy " . That was because I didn't do what they thought I

should do or what they wanted me to do. I certainly couldn't do what I

wanted to do either. I had to _push_ myself in the extreme to do anything

at all such as go shopping or cook a meal. Walking up the stairs was

sometimes more than I could stand. Physical exercise exhausted me for days

afterward as did any social engagement. I felt best around 1pm most days so

I would try to do what I had to do for the day then because earlier and

later I wouldn't be able to do it at all. I managed to push myself like this

for years until finally I hurt my back and couldn't walk. Little by little I

got so that no matter what I did I was feeling sicker and sicker and more

and more tired. Still I was working from home international online business

seeing people for Counseling, teaching, cooking, a little cleaning and some

walking. But I was seen as lazy. That broke my heart!

I went to the doctor because I knew that I needed Thyroid Hormone: that the

supplements, herbs, vitamins etc couldn't do it any more. The doctor told me

the TSH of 3.4 ( I was taking Nutrimeds at the time) was " normal " and that

was that. At first I was distraught, but now what? Then it occurred to me

that it was meant to be this way, that I was meant to learn all I could

about Thyroid issues and help myself and hopefully be able to help others. I

ve spent the next year doing just that.

I am not now and never have been " lazy " . I still push myself way too much

and have yet to find out what I can and can not do but I am learning. I feel

better than I have for years and I am able to help a few people around me

though most are not yet ready to hear what I have to share. I share what I

can on line and am so very thankful for all of the people on line who have

been my teachers and counselors and friends through all of this.

May all be blessed with health and happiness.

Peace, Love and Harmony,

Bev

Thyroid-Adrenal Connection: Information and Resources

http://www.bestweb.net/~om/thyroid

[Guest guest]

> ,

>

> As Janie said alot of us can identify. I haven't seen or heard from my

sister-in-law

> for 4 months because she doesn't know what to do or say. She only lives 9

miles away.

> When people ask how you are you just start saying fine because you feel like

an idoit

> to continue to say that you feel like crap! How can it go on so long? Why

can't the

> doctors do anything? I am starting to believe that the only people who can

truly

> identify with how we feel or what is going on with us are those people who

walk in

> the same shoes.

>

> Deborah

Yeah, I think trying to answer " How are you doing? " honestly is a mistake. They

aren't

asking because they really want to know. :-) I'm really trying not to become

bitter,

although heaven knows the people on here who have been fighting this for a

couple of

decades have every right to be. When someone isn't real helpful, or is even

hurtful,

I try to:

1. forgive (even 70 x 7), for your own sake if nothing else

2. go somewhere where people understand (like here)

Well, it's something to shoot for anyway. Sometimes you miss...

-- prr

[Guest guest]

> Loved ones and the way they don't exactly

help.....

>

> , I bet a lot of us totally identify. NO ONE understood my

> situation all those years I was on T4-only meds and couldn't do a

> thing without terrible consequences. And the spouses can be just as

> unknowingly bad.

>

> And just cope?? Oh my---that's a hit in the side.

Well, yes, it is a bit. Still, looking at it from her point of view,

3 out of 5 doctors have told me I'm fine (the fifth thinks its allergies,

and the fourth is just from Pluto), and innumerable blood tests are

" in the normal range " . I can see her point. But she's wrong.

> It's not fun to

> cope with this kind of fatigue. When you mentioned that your arm

> felt like it was lifting a piano---I SO IDENTIFY. Many years ago,

> when I tried to play volleyball on a neighborhood team, I had the

> exact same result. After only 20 minutes, and the total inability to

> get the ball over the net, I walked home, and my arms felt like lead

> weights for hours. Awful.

Yeah, it's frustrating to watch your life slowly wind down and stop ticking.

My boys and I should be almost to black belt by now, but we've missed the

last 3 belt tests because Someone can't get his backside off the couch.

-- prr

[Guest guest]

> Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 15:38:27 +0200

>

> Subject: Re[2]: Loved ones and the way they don't exactly help.....

>

> My husband is really good , supportive and understanding but he gets

frustrated

> when having a conversation is difficult.

Don't you like how it causes you actual physical pain when people talk to you

for a long

time? Wouldn't you think they'd get a clue when your eyes glaze over and your

head

starts to hang at an angle and you keep having to ask them what they just said?

I would think they would stop for a while and pick up the conversation later,

but

the opposite seems to be true -- they get more energetic and talkative and try

to

make their point even more forcefully. What do I have to do... drool?

> [snip]

>

> I also get fed up when people say 'that happens to me too'

Oh my. That would be frustrating. They have no idea. It's like the difference

between shooting a bullet and throwing it.

-- prr

[Guest guest]

I like that one.. it's exactly it!

Topper ()

On Thu, 6 May 2004 00:38:48 -0400 " Ross, R "

writes:

> > Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 15:38:27 +0200

< snip >

> It's like the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it.

>

> -- prr