Re: Re: How are you?

[Guest guest]

Having a bad day and feeling like I got hit by a truck is my answer specially

since I just got back to living. Do not forget to take your pills is another

answer I will give. You are right no one really wants to talk anymore. We have

shut the door on people. Just how are you I have heard people say that while

paying for whatever you get. They really do not want to know. They just want you

to pay for your whatever got so they can get through another day. Go home and

have fun is another answer.

Gentle hugs,

Ms.Katurah

[Guest guest]

> MsKaturah wrote:

> You are right no one really wants to talk anymore. We have shut the door on

people. Just how are you I have heard people say that while paying for whatever

you get. They really do not want to know. They just want you to pay for your

whatever got so they can get through another day. Go home and have fun is

another answer.

Ms, Katurah,

In all my Nursing and Psychology classes, it is because People cannot " fix " us

and feel so frustrated listening. People in general usually cannot just

recognize this is just " venting " and not whining and it gives a great sense of

importance to be able to talk to someone about it. That is why this group is so

important. The members do not judge, understand, encourage, and we are not

burdening our families, friends or whoever.

I get more empathy from the people at Walmarts that I waited five hours getting

tire and batteries on my car fixed.

I paid for what I got. I helped sick people for thirty years, lifting them,

caring for them standing on my feet, working three jobs a day as a nurse, x-ray

technician, and hospital administrator and do not have a penny to show for it.

So, yes, I paid for what I got and do not regret a minute of it. I go back to

my home town and meet relatives of people I treated that still thank me for

being kind to them.

I wish I could meet a me for me. Isn't that funny ? Bennie

[Guest guest]

> wrote:

> I agree that " How are you? " is just a social greeting. Prior to chronic pain,

I used to answer the question with nonsense things like " It is raining green

zebras " . About 90 percent of the people at work would just nod and walk on by.

For the 10 percent who would stop, most of them just were confused by the answer

and wanted it re-stated and then would wander off. For those folks, I could get

by with " Just

another day in paradise " .

Breathing is appropriate reply. If people care more they will say " What is the

Doctor saying about your condition? " Being in the medical field, you know that

sometimes people do not want to talk about their conditions and you have to know

if you ask that the person wants to share that information. I tell my husband,

I will ask and if the person does not want to share, they will tell me but I am

not going to not ask and miss someone not knowing I care about them. It is

important issue. Bennie

[Guest guest]

Lol. That's a good one. I usually say well I am alive and here so I must be ok.

They look at me like I am insane but if I went into detail in or off group about

me that reply would suit me. Lol

> Bennie wrote:

> Breathing is appropriate reply.

[Guest guest]

> wrote:

> Lol. That's a good one. I usually say well I am alive and here so I must be

ok. They look at me like I am insane but if I went into detail in or off group

about me that reply would suit me. Lol

:

My blood pressure has been 230/105 with meds and last time I went in my pulse

rate was 105 and the med assistant said, " That is high, wonder why " . Well, let

us see, I am at a pain Doctor, sweat pouring down me, my blood pressure and

pulse rate up. Wonder if it could be because I am in uncontrolled pain. But

oh, my pain meds are reduced and I am taking less, isn't everybody happy?

I am so glad God gave me common sense and when I saw my patients I could tell

they were in pain and I was known for being able to focus on getting patients to

talk. Outside influences as house forecloses, losing your jobs because you can

not work, not able to get disability and having to pay six hundred dollars a

month for health insurance might influence a patient's pain right?

Only one time did my questioning get me in trouble, there was a little old man

we treated that always held on to his penis really tight and I arrogantly told

him " Let go of your penis, it is inappropriate and not nice " Well, he did and

peed all over me. He was incontinent and needed a catheter put in. He held

himself so tight we would call him the " purple throbber " , not mean, though.

So, sometimes those replies can get you in trouble, lol Bennie

[Guest guest]

I think I am the one who said that is how I answer people when they ask how I am

doing. So I am a little confused as to your reply. I have never really gone into

detail on group about me or my chronic pain or my fibro or any other medical

issue I have. My comment literally means I am lucky to be alive so I am okay. I

was almost killed in may in a mva and just recently had neck surgery so when

people ask me how I am, that is my reply. I am sorry if I am confused as to your

reply back to me.

. J

[Guest guest]

I'm tempted to say, " I took advice and got over what people say is all in my

head and I'm all better! " Ergh!

> Lol. That's a good one. I usually say well I am alive and here so I must be

ok. They look at me like I am insane but if I went into detail in or off group

about me that reply would suit me. Lol

[Guest guest]

I have been reading all of these emails with such interest! We all have our

comfort zone in how we reply to the " how are you " question. I agree with many

who have already said that in our culture that question just naturally follows a

greeting from someone. Is it a sincere question? Rarely. However, I have only

had CRPS/RSD for a couple of years and the change in me is drastic to anyone who

has known me a long time. Not only do I deal with this disease but my foot is

now badly deformed following a couple of unsuccessful surgeries. My family and

friends just look at my foot and easily see the bright red/purple color changes

if I'm standing along with my very visible limp.

It seems to me that these obvious physical changes probably make it easier for

people to believe the chronic pain I live in. My DDD and osteoarthritis are not

so visible! And often I experience flare ups exacerbating the CRPS pain. No one

can see that so I will rarely say anything about my back. I can totally

understand what challenges so many of us face when there is no obvious pain

source others can see in order to help them better understand chronic pain this

severe.

My usual response to the " how are you " question is to say that I am pretty much

the same. The question I hate is " Isn't your foot better yet? " Well, no. That's

when I use the same method of keeping the conversation light and changing topics

so that others will talk more about themselves as others have discussed. That

works pretty well (smile).

This group is a tremendous help to me! Just knowing that I am not alone and

meeting others who completely understand being disabled and how that has changed

my life. Some days, like today, are so very difficult to get through!!

Thank you for listening and for your compassion!

~Carol

> Lol. That's a good one. I usually say well I am alive and here so I must be

ok. They look at me like I am insane but if I went into detail in or off group

about me that reply would suit me. Lol