RE: Last Wishes/Options

[Guest guest]

> Marta wrote:

My family also knows that should I get bad enough that I can no longer care for

myself, I want them to put me in a hospice/nursing home/hospital.

Marta,

In my Thesis, Dying with Dignity, in the late 70's, Hospices had not become what

they are today and Europe was their model. I want to say, Hospice, offers

competent care with staffs of Counselors for you and your family and volunteers

and staff for Respite care, people who will house clean, do grocery shopping and

chores, and other services.

You are allowed to remain in your home with support services and go in to the

hospital when needed. You also need to know that you do not have to have Cancer

to qualify for Hospice and Hospice is offered to those who have a terminal

disease with a usual life expectancy of six months or fewer. This is just a

guideline and they do not kick you out or disqualify you if you do not

stringently have this. Many criteria exist, so do not rule this out if you do

not think you have a disease you think that might not qualify.

I believe in being informed and letting your family know. I am to donate my

body to science and be cremated. My whole family knows that and even put it in

my will even though it is an after the fact instrument.

Each of us have different wishes, but you are correct in that it is a subject to

be addressed as you never know when in your life these decisions will have to be

made and it is not fair to those who are left behind to have that added burden

in their grief.

On a happier note, it is a good goal to have appropriate pain control to have

the best of life you can. Bennie

[Guest guest]

Candy,

You sound like an expert to me. It makes my dealing with pain for just three

years before giving up seem trivial. (smile)

I find it amazing that anyone can deal with pain for your length of time and not

just give up. I have been close a couple of times in my four years. I just

wanted a few hours of no pain and could not get it. There was no break. I

guess all of this depends upon the willpower of the person and the pain level

experienced by that person.

Your pain may not be my pain

> Candy wrote:

I have been in chronic pain for the last 20 years. That does not

make me an expert on pain, nor pain medication. I have had over 25 surgeries

under general anesthetic and not once did I feel like I was drowning.

[Guest guest]

I have a very supportive and loving family..sometimes too much, LOL. I

would just prefer them to say their goodbyes while I'm still alive enough to

respond to them.and for them to NOT see me in the final stages where I will

have no ability to comfort or speak to them and probably won't even be out

of the drug haze long enough to know they're there. I raised my daughter

from 11 months to 13 years by myself...I've always been strong. Even now,

with my medical conditions, though I'm weaker than I like and more

dependent, I still manage to be there for my daughter, son-in-law, husband,

dogs, etc. I would prefer that they didn't see me so weak I can't even

control my own body.

But compromise is the name of the game...with any luck, I will be able to

actually die before I get to that part..and when I'm alone.

Marta

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> Candy,

>

> You sound like an expert to me. It makes my dealing with pain for just three

years before giving up seem trivial. (smile)

,

I agree that years of experiences can be an expert and give others information

to help them and Candy sure qualifies in my book. The actual definition of

expert is one who has: having or showing knowledge and skill which comes from

experiences, training, or education. So experiences do count for something.

I do not think willpower has a lot to do making pain go away, as chronic

pain is a medical problem that cause changes in your body. Sure, will power can

help to keep you going but it does not mean that you do not have enough will

power if you cannot overcome your pain caused by a medical condition that needs

to be treated.

It means you have uncontrolled pain and need assistance in getting it. My pain

journey began 16 years ago when it became uncontrollable (but had it earlier)

and there are members here very young in their lives dealing with this which

breaks my heart because at least I was older when I became disabled and unable

to control it anymore.

Never beat yourself up and as not having enough willpower to overcome your pain

as that is not so. There is a difference in controlled anesthesia and

barbiturates given double dosed (in the assisted suicide law), which was my

point. I do not want to beat this horse to death or offend anyone so I do not

want to post about that. If I could be under anesthesia and be put to sleep with

a trained assistant monitored the dosages to prevent the side effects, this

would be different but this is not the way the law is right now.

I do want you to know that your pain is just as important as anyone's here and

actually going without pain and no breaks has nothing to do with willpower and I

hope you have gotten a Doctor that can give you relief. Dealing with pain for

any amount of time is not trivial, it is a important subject and journey that I

wish no one and I never thought I would experience.

I hope that you have pain relief soon. Bennie