Re: Another heart acheCarolyn

[Guest guest]

Jean

Our daughters can come up with the most amazing b.s., and what's

even more amazing is all the other people who buy into it, and

accept their version as " gospel. "

I don't think you were a bad mother with . I think you loved

her and did for her as best you could. That's what we all do.

Dot

> I guess they feel better to move on than admit THEY are the one

with any

> problem. I saw that only too well in my counseling session with,

me, my daughter

> and the counselor. It is all me and granted I realize I was

neurotic after

> my mother died and was a teenager----I was way too

> overprotective-----but she makes me feel like I was simply out to

hurt her and control her just

> for the FUN of it. She didn't want to hear that perhaps I acted

the way I did

> because I had issues back then. She would rather just see me as

the

> witch---not a human being woith my own frailities.

>

> She did admit that she was " self destructive " and that is why she

hooked up

> with the ghetto group-----but for 2 years??!!!!! I gave her outs,

but she says

> the boys' father was just " too dangerous " . that he would have

killed her had

> she left him----that is a total crock------I got in his face one

day and

> called him every derogatory name I could think of in the hopes

that he would hit ME

> so I could press charges and he DID NOTHING, but yell a little.

( I was

> slightly insane myself back then and desperate to save her from

herself). He was

> and from what I have heard recently still is simply a loser.

>

> So was she really self destructive? Or was it just that she felt

she could

> control these losers because compared to them she was like royalty

> and could dangle money, her car, herself in front of them.

>

> I find it annoying that she wants the counselor to think she was

back then,

> with them and with me a VICTIM. I also mentioned to the counselor

that I am

> not happy that she allows her husband (a former addict) to drink

in HER home.

> Once again she played the VICTIM when she said she cannot control

what he does

> because he is an adult---an adult she's allowing to drink with her

kids there

> and we all know it will lead to him craving the drugs again. The

counselor

> told her she IS in control of the drinking if it is done in her

home.

>

> What is it that they have to portray themselves as VICTINS. Do

they all do

> this?

>

> Jean

>

>

>