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Acceptance

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Over the last few days I have finally accepted the hospital's diagnosis

that I have fibromyalgia. I hope this is a turning point for me. They

wrote to my GP almost a year ago with this diagnosis, and my reaction

was 'NO WAY' have I got that! Over the months I have worked against

this diagnosis, and only recently have I discovered that I have done

myself more harm than good.

I have started getting irregular heart beats, dizzyness, sickness,

faintness, breathlessness. My doctor has arranged for me to go on a 24

hour heart monitoring machine. But he did say it could be through

stress, and through trying to do too much. I had been desperately

looking for a job, and would have needed to work full time to pay my

bills, rent etc, and this has left me totally exhausted.

I have finally admitted to myself that I am not well enough to work -

for now. I have asked for the forms to fill in to claim Incapacity

Benefit and my doctor is in full support of me doing this.

I have to accept I cannot work for the time being, but was afraid of

being called a 'scrounger', as so many people believe that CFS adn

Fibro are merely excuses. I tried to ignore it and I failed. Now I

know, I can't work, despite disliking coming to this conclusion I have

had to, for the sake of my long term health

Jane

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