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I truly appreciate your responses to my first email re. my daughter

and executive function. I could hardly wait to get to my computer

this morning to check my mail. Just knowing people are out there for

me helps so much. I live most of the time in Mexico. My truly

wonderful therapist told me I just had to go on with my own life

several years ago. We both knew that with my daughter I could only

be part of the problem and not part of the solution. But I needed

her " permission " to really leave and not feel I was deserting her.

So I'm very fortunate that I don't have to see the daily chaos. My

heart goes out to those of you who do, and I know it must take a

tremendous amount of strength. The love and caring that comes

through in you posts makes it so clear that you're not " monster

mothers " so maybe I'm not either. I'm at a bad place now, she's just

recently been hospitalized for the 3rd time. I'm returning to the

Bay area to let my 2 grandaughters know that I'd be there for them

not matter where I lived. I'll only stay 6 weeks. I wrote my

daughter and told her I wanted to see the kids, they're with their

father, and gave her the number for where I'd be staying. I told her

that if she wanted to contact me that would be fine and if not I

understand. She's always loved my relationship with the kids, has

never kept them from me. I'm so lucky. She's also never asked

anything of me, money, babysit, etc. as she's tried for years to

separate ----- that's been hard for both of us. I'm just now seeing

that clearly. Her statement a few years back was, " It's not that I

don't like you, I just don't like how I feel when I'm around you " .

Have your kids expressed that? She apparently quit her DBT group

that she was making good progress in and was excited about

continuing until about 2 weeks ago. Also, she went off her meds,

hence the big crisis now.Staying in the here and now, not going off

into fears about the future for both her and the kids is a major

challange for me. At the moment I'm not doing real well. Thanks for

listening. Any advice appreciated. Louise

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