Maybe nada isn't BPD?

[Guest guest]

I am so confused. Fada has never really been a part of my life, but his dad (my

grandpa) has always kept in touch. Fada has been living with my grandpa for the

past few years, but we never really talk. Grandpa died last week. I called Fada

to give him my condolences. I thought what the hell? I'm going to ask him about

nada and when they were together. maybe I will get some good insight. I totally

expected some serious validation in the sense that I thought he was going to

tell me how crazy nada was. But he didn't. And I am 99% sure he was not lying.

He was honest about some other things and I asked him to be honest about nada-

that I would not be upset. He said for the most part nada was really fun and had

a " bubbly " personality. WHAT????? Before she was got sick, nada could really be

the life of the party sometimes. But in general I have never known her to be

anything but unhappy. He told me a little about her alcoholic father, who she

never talks about. He admitted he handled everything wrong with ending their

relationship and not having one with me. But I am so confused. He did not

mention one single BPD behavior, even though I described the way she is today to

him. It's like we were talking about two different people. Could it be that nada

is NOT BPD? She never was officially diagnosed. My T, who I have been seeing for

years, has a lot of experience with BPDs and is convinced she has it. Fada and

nada were together for 7 years- I feel like he would pick up on it. How could he

not? I have had some limited contact with Fada in my life. I have known him to

be weak, not honor his promises and for a while he was a meth addict. But I have

never known him to lie, and I really think he was being honest about this.