FOG in every day stuff

[Guest guest]

Sometimes I notice FOG in every day life. I have carried these behaviors over

into many areas of my life. For instance......

I started my own business on a shoe string. I've been open nearly 10 years and

make a good living. (Albeit meager lately with this economy!) But one thing I

continue to struggle with is with hiring, firing and generally knowing what is

acceptable. I know this is tough for a lot of employers but I REALY struggle.

The last employee that quit was there for over a year and turned out to be a

real winner. In fact I am pretty sure she was a borderline. My staff and I

found ourselves funneling our behavior with her. We would have to be real

careful if she did something wrong in how we worded it or she might give us the

silent treatment or cry.(She's 40 years old.) After she left I found out that

she was paranoid. She often changed stories to suit her emotions. Of course she

played employees and nobody talked about it. I swept little things under the

carpet so to speak. Even though I am not comfortable with someone I always make

little excuses in my head. I find I don't know what " normal " behavior should be

or if it seems weird I think I am being to critical. In other words FEAR that I

may make a mistake and not be a perfect boss (daughter), OBLIGATION to be the

perfect boss (daughter) and ignore my own feelings and GUILT that I might put

myself before my staff (father).

I recently hired a new person. In her first week and a half she has already

broken several rules. Of course in my head, I say they were minor

infractions....... Ten minutes late one day, cell phone on the sales floor, not

telling staff when she leaves the floor, and $20 missing yesterday. So here I go

again! On one hand I am uncomfortable with this and I know I should trust my

instincts and get rid of her. Can anyone else relate their day to day

experiences. When is it finally ok to do what you want without second guessing

EVERY FRICKING DETAIL?

It's so distressing that I am STILL so ill equipped to handle life.